Waiting, waiting - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 3 Old 03-10-2014, 09:44 AM - Thread Starter
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Hello all,


Last week on Tuesday, I went in for an ultrasound at 9w6d.  My baby measured only 7w6d.  My doctor scheduled another ultrasound for this Thursday, to see if baby is growing.  She said maybe my dates are wrong.  But I was charting and I had my first positive test on 12dpo... so it doesn't seem physically possible that I got pregnant 14 days later than I thought, right?  So I am not hopeful.  My morning sickness is completely gone, but I am still exhausted and have breast tenderness.  


This has been the most difficult week of my life.  I am sure in my heart that my baby has died.  I will find out for sure on Thursday morning.  I am just waiting... waiting for something to happen.  Every time I use the restroom, I prepare myself to see blood.  I don't know how long this will take, but apparently baby stopped growing 3 weeks ago.  It is the saddest, weirdest sensation to know there is a dead person inside me.  I love my baby, and I wish s/he were alive, but I am pretty thoroughly creeped out as well.


I don't want to have surgery, because I want my child's body to be treated respectfully.  I don't know what I want to be done, but I know I don't want it to be "processed" by a hospital (that's what my doctor said would happen, her words).  


I guess I am just sharing to be heard.  I wish some one could tell me how long this will take.  Does it ever take longer than a month?  That would be one more week... 


I have been reading posts here for a few days, and it has been really therapeutic for me to feel connected to other women who have shared this experience.  I am so sorry that any of you have had to do this.

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#2 of 3 Old 03-10-2014, 02:06 PM
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I'm so incredibly saddened to hear that you are going through this. It's possible that your u/s later this week will be fine but you just don't know.


I just found out today that I had a 2nd miscarriage, the sense of loss is overwhelming.


My first m/c last year was allso around the 6 week mark.  In my case I found out at 9 weeks, and tried waiting for my body to miscarry....at 16 weeks it still hadn't happened, so I reluctantly opted for a D&C. I was very reluctant to have a D&C for similar reasons that you mention.


Every women is different and there is no way of knowing what your experience will be.  You could ask your doctor to test your HCG because if it's dropping there's a good chance you will miscarry naturally - but it's hard to say when.  With my m/c last year, the placenta continued to grow evne though the baby had died.


This time I've decided to schedule the D&C a week and a half for now. I found the emotional limbo last time was absolutely soul destroying.  But every woman is different.  If you decide to wait for it to occur naturally, you can always revisit that decision a week or 2 later.


I'm so sorry - no one should ever have to go through this.

41 y/o married Mama, 4 y/o DS1, Angel Baby lost in Sep 2013, Angel Baby lost March 2014, 3 months old DS2.
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#3 of 3 Old 04-05-2014, 11:57 AM
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I am 13 weeks pregnant, my fourth child, first surprise, went in for testing yesterday, no heartbeat, they want to d&c, I asked for a second opinion, not this Monday but next, then I am getting a 3d ultrasound 2 days following second opinion out of pocket. This would be my first miscarriage and I am blind sided. I want to make 200% sure this is right, but I have to say, this is taking a toll on me already, I go back and forth from hopeful to mourning grief, I'm a wreck, and I'm not sure how long I can handle this, the thought of having a dead baby inside me gives me the chills, but the idea of them being wrong and me consenting to my babies murder is motivation to trudge on in search of truth. Please keep me in your prayers, I have read miracle stories and ones of terrible sorrow, in my heart, I believe my baby is alive and hold fast to that, sometimes I think I feel movement, little bumps. I need to be sure, or O will never forgive myself.
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