Found out today there is no baby in my uterus. - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 3 Old 03-14-2014, 03:20 PM - Thread Starter
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I'm 12 weeks today, and we learned there's no baby growing in there after all. I've had 2 normal pregnancies and births, this will be my first miscarriage. I think I really knew all along, but I'm still sad and scared about what happens next. Is it horribly painful? The Dr. Gave me Percocet and citotec. She also said since I'm so far along there might be a lot of bleeding. We live 45minutes from town so I don't want to be rushing to the hospital. Are d and c 's horrible? I have a feeling my body is just going to try and hold onto this so I'm considering that option. Can anyone help me to better know what to expect? Thanks ladies.

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Stella, wild and gentle mama to Toby(12/14/04), Cedar(8/17/08), Luca
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(3/15/14), and one on the way!

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#2 of 3 Old 03-14-2014, 03:40 PM
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Been there.
Take the percocet, grab some movies, some wine. The physical pain was there but in an odd way not unwelcome. I needed it to feel real. Like I was really pregnant. The percs helped. I took both doses and still ended up with retained tissue and had a d&c. D&c was easy but I had a lot of cramping and spotting after for a while.

There are some great threads, hop on those if you post a question there you're likely to get a response quick since most of us "subscribed".

12 weeks, placenta should be size of your palm, you might find a sac. I had a bo. I never really found the sac.


8 might be enough?
Or maybe 9 will be?
EDD September 18, 2015
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#3 of 3 Old 03-15-2014, 04:28 PM
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I'm so incredibly sorry to hear this, my heart goes to out to you, I can't begin to imagine the shock and sadness you are feeling.  I've just had my 2nd miscarriage and it's the most heartbreaking thing I've ever gone through.


Am I reading correctly that you've been given medication to encourage your body to release the pregnancy?


I have no experience with that, but will share with you that with my first m/c, it was diagnosed at 9 weeks that the baby had died at 6 weeks.  I wanted to miscarry naturally so I 16 weeks I still had not miscarried so I reluctantly agreed to a D&C.


I was very concerned with the risks of a D&C in particular scarring and impacting my future fertility.  I learned that some surgeons are very aggressive, which can result in scarring.  The doctor who did my surgery said he goes very lightly.


It was very difficult emotionally on the day of the surgery but I felt so much better afterwards and was surprised at how comfortable I felt physically - really no cramping or pain as I would have expected. Bleeding for a few days then I felt so much better.


It is not uncommon for the body to hold onto a pregnancy, and some women do miscarry naturally but end up having retained tissue and require a D&C anyway.  My suggestion would be to give yourself a time limit - whatever feels right to you.  Or if you are waiting and feel that it's causing your anxiety, you can always elect for the D&C. It's not an easy decision, but I feel there is a place for surgical intervention.


Last Monday I found out I had miscarried again due to a blighted ovum.  This time I scheduled the D&C for next week - I just could not bear to go through the emotional limbo of waiting and waiting.  Again I asked the doctor (a different one from last time) about the risk of scarring and he said it was a risk but that he used plastic instruments, not metal, and that his approach was to take away enough of the placenta so that the body did the rest of the work of releasing the pregnancy - he said although the recovery time and post op bleeding is longer, it is a gentler approach.

If you plan to wait for it to happen naturally, please know that some women find it INCREDIBLY painful and with lots of bleeding.  I'm not saying this to scare you, but it seems that we get told by doctors that it will be "just like having a heavy period" - where as women I know have described it as going through labour.  Think about a plan of what you will do, for example, if the bleeding is very excessive - for example friends you could call, or contacting 911.  

41 y/o married Mama, 4 y/o DS1, Angel Baby lost in Sep 2013, Angel Baby lost March 2014, 3 months old DS2.
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