Suffering after Missed Miscarriage and D&E - Mothering Forums

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Old 04-15-2014, 09:49 AM - Thread Starter
Wilhelmina's Avatar
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I learned my baby was no longer alive on thursday.  Its heart has supposedly stopped beating already a week before that - at about 12 weeks and 2 or 3 days of pregnancy.  I was in the 14th week of pregnancy when I found out (or what supposed to be my 14th week of pregnancy) and I was finally getting really excited about the pregnancy as I thought I just passed the hurdle of the first trimester and we were safe …  


It was an absolute shock.  I found out during an ultrasound and saw the little one with no heartbeat.


I had D&E yesterday.


I am so so depressed right now.  I'm also angry and desperate and I want my baby back.  I feel so empty and hollow and sometimes still can't believe it happened …  I keep seeing that ultrasound in my head over and over and over … the baby not moving, just quietly laying there.  


I have a healthy 3 year old at home - I'm only able to function because of her, really.


I am the point where I don't even know if I'll ever be able to try to get pregnant again.  This was and still is such a shock that I can't even imagine going back to my life.  


I tried to find out what happened - what caused the miscarriage and was told that there is no way to find out and that there is no extensive investigation unless it happens three times.  I still can't wrap my brain around that, but I have no way to fight against that, so I just have to force myself to accept it.  The doctor told me that most of the time and at this point in pregnancy, it's usually chromosomal.


Although, I have decided I will have my thyroid tested at least and do a full blood work up to see if there was anything off there.


I WANT THIS BABY! brokenheart.gif 

Proud mommy to our stellar Stella (3/2011). Cautiously expecting our in April 2015 after loosing a sweet little angel in April 2014.
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Old 04-15-2014, 05:32 PM
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Get it all tested!
Don't take no for an answer.
Thyroid is good, but get your blood clotting tested too. Might have been a chromo issue but really that's more like "oh its better off this way" of an doctors excuse.
MC is traumatic. Do what you can to increase your chances of a rainbow

8 might be enough
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Old 04-16-2014, 02:07 PM
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I'm so sorry, Wilhelmina. I know how you feel--I too had recurrent images of the still little form
on the ultrasound screen. Sending hugs.
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