Back to work? Do I tell coworkers? - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
 
Thread Tools
#1 of 4 Old 05-24-2014, 09:44 PM - Thread Starter
 
t2009's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Somewhere between here & there
Posts: 581
Mentioned: 28 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 6 Post(s)
I just experienced a mc 3 days ago (a Wed.). My boss & coworkers all know we just bought a house & were moving this week/weekend (I actually miscarried the day we moved). It also happens to be a holiday weekend.

In part because I didn't want my boss to think I was calling in sick because of the move/holiday (& also because I trust him) I decided to tell him what happened. He was very understanding & told me to take the time I need. I took off Thu & Fri.

I don't know why but now I'm worried what my coworkers will think & I'm debating whether I should tell them. One coworker emailed me about swapping work since she'd need to cover me on Fri. She also offered to help me move this weekend. No one yet knew I was pregnant. But my coworker's email made me irrationally mad & I didn't respond. I got the sense she thought I just took some random time off for the move & meanwhile I'm actually really suffering & don't give a care about swapping work!

I appreciate my boss's discretion but now part of me wants to clear the air. Should I? I'm a fairly private person at work so I don't want to. But I also don't want my team assuming I'm a slacker.

Also I don't even know when I should go back?? I was planning on Tues but is that too soon (that would mark 6 days)? I'm feeling better (obviously not 100%) & bleeding is less (like a medium flow).

Thanks!!

Mama to my little busy bee. 

t2009 is offline  
#2 of 4 Old 05-25-2014, 06:05 PM
 
Nazsmum's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: In the vine
Posts: 2,616
Mentioned: 1 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 21 Post(s)

:hug So so sorry for your loss. It is up to you if you want to tell them or not. I told only the people that need to know. (only a few people know)

 

As far as going back to work-- I would go if I felt OK. for me getting back into normal life helped.

Nazsmum is online now  
#3 of 4 Old 05-25-2014, 08:56 PM
 
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 2,345
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

If you don't want to tell them you miscarried, maybe you could tell them that you took a few days off due to some medical issues, but are feeling better now and ready to get back into the swing of things. They probably won't ask unless they're particularly nosy, but if they do you could tell them that it's kind of personal and you prefer not to discuss it. If you have this conversation with one or two people, it will probably get around and unless you work in an extremely nosy boundary-pushing setting, others won't bug you about it. 

 

Or you could just say nothing, do your work like normal, and if others are going to make stupid assumptions about you that's on them.

 

I have not miscarried myself, so I can't answer your other question. I'm just commenting based on my experience in different work environments. 

 

Best of luck. 

erigeron is offline  
#4 of 4 Old 05-27-2014, 03:40 PM - Thread Starter
 
t2009's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Somewhere between here & there
Posts: 581
Mentioned: 28 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 6 Post(s)
Thank you much for the advice. I did return to work today & it was really refreshing to be back--better than I expected. I decided to not tell anyone & took your advice, Erigeron, to just keep it generic. My boss stopped by briefly to check in on me & said something unfortunate but it came from a genuinely good place so I can't blame him. He said more good than bad tho & really tried to do right.

Unfortunately, I worry I overdid it! I'm on my commute home & in a fair amount of discomfort. I may skip it tomorrow (luckily I can work from home)--I really don't want to delay healing by doing too much!

Mama to my little busy bee. 

t2009 is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Drag and Drop File Upload
Drag files here to attach!
Upload Progress: 0
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off