Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Where snow drifts, drift....
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Aw thanks for checking in... It looks like (at least in chrome) the format here is all whacky!
But an update... I got home for vacation on Saturday- blood work on Sunday and ultrasound and doc on Monday.
To my amazement, she was not a pushy "you need to have a D&C or your will DIE" doctor. She first asked- how are you emotionally? I admitted, I have had my 1% of shitty moments, but over all- 99% of the time, I am ok- I understand these things happen.
She said "Well we have 3 options" and explained D&C, pills and waiting it out in detail with each risks.
Told me if was her, she would have done the D&C the second she heard, but everyone is different and that is ok.
She said I was in perfect health and said it was my choice. Gave me a pelvic and said she saw some brown discharge and that the sack felt low and I was 1cm.
So, I asked if we could just wait it out more. She said- of course. I had a talk with the baby on my 1 hour ride home- "it is time- it is time"
So Tuesday morning @ 5am I woke up with horrible cervical pain- like tears pain. But no bleeding or spotting. I was able to take some pain meds I had and go to sleep from 9-10 am. My phone rang at 11 and when I sat up to get it- GUSH... My water broke- thankfully, I had a pad on, anticipating blood flow to start soon with the kind of cramps I was having.
Then more blood, and lots of liquid and more blood and eewwwyyyy- kinda girl stuff. I never passed a huge amount of tissue- but for a few hours had good amount of constant blood and lots of puking and headache.
Then it went to more a heavy period.
Yesterday (day 2) was really hard. The pain went from constant cramps to being really really sore and emotionally beat. I had a lot of moments where I just cried and cried. IT IS NOT FAIR... but we all know that....
I felt like someone had ripped open my cervix and pushed me with a baseball bat for hours in my abdomen.
Today I am SO much better- I feel nearly ME and my brain is much more level headed.
It all still sucks- and I am like a full blown period, but I think the worst is over and I am so proud of myself I waited it out- even to 18 weeks, 11 weeks after my baby died, to do it natural and birth my baby.
I know many women can not do it- and I TOTALLY respect that- this is hard. But I think mentally for me, a D&C, unless life threatening, is almost like an abortion mentally to me- I don't judge that on anyone- I just knew I would feel that way and I think mentally that would have been way harder for me to deal with than 11 weeks of waiting for a natural miscarriage.
Thank you ALL for such lovely support and I hope we all get our sticky babies :-)
[B][I]~Ang~ Mom to 2 sport-head crazy girls: Rainey and Breeze
and my little lost love- @18 weeks with gestational age of 7 weeks
RAINBOW BABY DUE MAY 4th!!!