Last Friday late afternoon I started to miscarry. Thankfully dh came home a few hours later when things were really moving along. Jeannie was with me on the couch, but every 45 minutes I ran to the bathroom and passed huge clots and blood, the blood did flow quickly during the miscarriage. I was scared because of the amount of blood but luckily I had talked briefly with my midwife who assured me that there would be alot of blood when the miscarriage was happening. The first time to the bathroom, I passed something that was grey and white in color with blood around it, it was the size of a small lima bean and looked like it had a small piece of cappellini attached to it (in hindsight, I know that this was the baby and umbillical cord). Then I went back to the couch my midwife had said to eat lightly just in case I had to go the the hospital, she didn't think that I would have to go. I sat for about a half an hour when I started to get uncomfortable, cramping slightly, but I kept wanting to shift my body from one side to the other, just to get comfortable. Then again running to the bathroom, to pass a huge clot of blood, this same thing happened two more times. Finally one the next go around I stopped at the fridge - looking for more to eat ( I was getting hungry) when WOW I felt something large pass through to my pants. I yelled for my dh to come help me get to the bathroom - blood was running down my legs. When I sat down in the bathroom and saw what it was I passed, I almost cried...it was the placenta. It was about 5 inches long and about 2 inches in diameter, it had a jello like consistency. Then I felt very tired, I put two pads in my pants and put a "chucks" pad on the bed (just in case) and fell into a deep sleep. The whole event lasted about 7 hours. On Saturday I was better, and the blood was decreasing I was changing a pad every few hours, but I had the worst cramps I've ever had in my life on Saturday afternoon, my midwife believes this was my uterus going back to it's regular size. Now I am still bleeding but just a bit and it's like it would be at the end of my period.
I am sad but grateful that it is over. My midwife said that of all the clients in the practice I was the one whose body watied the longest for the miscarriage to take place. It was the 13th week. (My hcg levels kept dropping rapidly which is why midwife allowed my to continue on this path and not to insist on the D&C procedure) I knew the pregnancy wasn't viable at week 9. Next to losing my mother at age 3, this was the most difficult road I have traveled in my life. I am sure that I will write more about this. I feel that there is more to say. But I wanted to write about exactly what happened so that other women can read this and not be afraid. Our bodies are beautiful and know what to do for our selves and for our babies. We just have to have faith.
Dh, dd and I will have a ceremony soon to honor the beloved babe that was ours for just a brief moment in time....
thank you for reading this and I hope this helps in some way
blessings to all mothers and fathers,