Yes, grief is a life-long journey, with ups and downs and pauses and accelerations. Eight years ago, my first-born was born still at 42 weeks. I was, as I'm sure you all can relate, so completely and utterly devastated. I did not have another child until two weeks short of two years later. Having my second son did go a long way towards my healing, but could not make me forget the pain of loss.
I've done a lot of grief work and I feel that all things considered, I have coped well. Even so, I have thought of my first child every single day since his birth/death and will most likely continue to do so. It's not always with sadness, but always with love and sometimes with matter-of-factness. I wonder what kind of child he would be and what it would be like to have three living children instead of two. Would they all have looked similar? What would it be like to mother three boys? Last year in the Fall I was struck with a fresh round of grief when I realized he would have started 1st grade then, grief being less intense and of shorter duration than earlier on. It comes and goes and I let it flow as needed.
Of course, our children are our greatest teachers and my first was no exception. While the events of his birth were quite horrible, there was an awesome quality to our lives at the same time which made me particularly aware of something much larger than myself. I don't know if I could put what I mean into words here, but it certainly made a lasting effect on me and how I live my life.
I've been blessed with so much love in my life with my boys and my husband. I just never take it for granted because who knows what the future holds.