Just needed to somehow acknowledge this publicly... - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 11 Old 08-13-2004, 12:17 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Tomorrow would have been my due date if I had not had the first miscarriage.

I am feeling really emotional, though not mournful if that makes sense. I was a week early with my daughter, so it's not like the exact date itself has any meaning.

We were supposed to go to the beach this weekend and I was planning a starlight talk with my little one by the ocean, but now there are two hurricanes on the way, so I will have to think about what I want to do.

I'm not really sure why I am posting this except that I needed to tell someone (other than dh), and you all are the only ones I know who will understand.

I feel like I have more to say, but I don't know how to put it in to words. That best captures how I am feeling I guess. I feel full. Full of emotions and words, but at a loss to sort them out.

As always, thanks so much for being there.

Trying to get my bearings...
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#2 of 11 Old 08-13-2004, 12:38 AM
 
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Of course we understand.

I hope tomorrow is gentle on you.

Not all those who wander are lost 
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#3 of 11 Old 08-13-2004, 01:03 AM
 
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{{{jenny}}}

i remember my due dates... and hearing of the deliveries of other mamas who were due about the same time. so hard, so sad!

this due date was for grace, wasn't it? i still have the candle i lit for the days you were saying goodbye to her... tomorrow i will light it again, and think of you and your family.

thank you for bringing her back to mind. i won't forget her, or you, and her powerful story.

warmly,

katje
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#4 of 11 Old 08-13-2004, 01:08 AM
 
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Stay safe from hurricains

I do hope the day is gentle on you. Come here if you need us
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#5 of 11 Old 08-13-2004, 01:42 AM
 
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I am so sorry for your loss. I won't be home to light a candle for your daughter, but I will hold her close in my heart tomorrow. I do understand, my due date was very hard. Just remember that there is only a finite amount of misery that you can cram into 24 hours and then it will be over and we will still be here.
Gossamer

Before you were conceived, I wanted you. Before you were born I loved you. Before you were a minute old, I would have died for you. That is the miracle of life. ~Maureen Hawkins~
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#6 of 11 Old 08-13-2004, 03:12 AM
 
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Love to you mama...
I, too, have a daughter named Grace that died. I am so sorry honey!
I will light a candle for Precious Grace tomorrow...

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#7 of 11 Old 08-13-2004, 10:49 AM
 
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I hope that you are having a peacful day today. I will be thinging of you. s

Kerrie Mama to DD 10 yo, DS 8 yo and DD 5  

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#8 of 11 Old 08-13-2004, 11:46 AM
 
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i am also sorry for your loss. I cant give any other words besides that b/c I dont know what to say. (((((hugs)))))) thats all I can do.

I can't imagine my due date, i have no idea what I will or wont do. *sigh*
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#9 of 11 Old 08-13-2004, 03:04 PM
 
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Hi Jenny,
I'm thinking of you and both of your angels today.
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#10 of 11 Old 08-13-2004, 04:14 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks all for your kind replies. I am actually doing ok. It means so much to know there are others out there who understand. I decided to get out the baby hat that I had half-knitted when I miscarried this winter. It was my first knitting project and I really want to finish it. When I started it I didn't actually think it would be for my baby since I was due in August, but I was still so excited and thought it was my first step to knitting a soaker. Then when I found out I was pg this last time, I was due in February and I thought the hat would be for my baby. I had so much uncertainty from the beginning that I decided I would start working on it when I got to my second trimester. Now that little one has left too. Now I just want to finish this hat so that I can feel like I can create something whole. I will remember grace with some quiet knitting time.

Thanks again and to you all.

Trying to get my bearings...
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#11 of 11 Old 08-13-2004, 07:22 PM
 
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to you. It's never easy. Take good care.
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