Anyone else pregnant and feel you are carrying the soul you lost before? - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
 
Thread Tools
Old 01-31-2005, 04:19 PM - Thread Starter
 
LoveChild421's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: North GA
Posts: 4,490
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
This is my 1st time posting under the loss forum. I miscarried in October of 2003 at 8 weeks- I know the baby was only with me for a short time but I felt his soul so fully- the name had already come to me and I knew he was a boy. I was going through a lot of problems in my life at the time and I always felt his soul was so kind and understanding that he left so that I could get my life in order and I had always felt he would come back to me when the time was right.

Well I got a good job and was able to get out of a bad situation- I ended up reconciling with my soulmate and falling deeply in love again. Then we felt the time was right and decided to get our baby back- the first month we stopped using condoms I was pregnant- and from the start I felt like this was the same soul I carried once before.

Now I am 32 weeks and I feel so strongly that this is the same sweet understanding soul. I cannot wait to meet him. I feel like I've been waiting so long for him.

I always found comfort in believing with all my heart that this soul would come back to me- now I feel truly healed. I was just wondering if anyone else has had a similar experience or if it brings comfort to think of miscarried babies or babies who have passed coming back?

Jen read.gif Mama of 2 precious boys blowkiss.gif (9)  flowersforyou.gif (6)  and still in heartbeat.gif with my Matt hat.gif after 12 years together. 

rainbow1284.gif Domestic Violence Children's Advocate and Counselor hug2.gif

 homebirth.jpg bf.jpg nocirc.gif ribbonjigsaw.gif 

LoveChild421 is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Old 01-31-2005, 04:30 PM
 
RachelGS's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: In a state of perpetual disbelief
Posts: 6,190
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I really believe in this. I have only just miscarried, but I feel the energy of that baby and believe that I will have another chance to be her mother. I can't wait.
RachelGS is offline  
Old 01-31-2005, 10:07 PM
 
ladylee's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: in my skin
Posts: 3,932
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
How beautiful! I'm so happy that you'll finally get to meet. I've also experienced this. It was truly an awakening. All the best to you!
ladylee is offline  
Old 01-31-2005, 10:13 PM
 
Forevermama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Southern California
Posts: 135
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
What a wonderful feeling. I'm truly happy for you.

I don't know what I am feeling yet, still kind of in a daze.
Forevermama is offline  
Old 01-31-2005, 10:19 PM
 
Mom4tot's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Pemberley
Posts: 15,236
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I strongly felt this way, too. I had an ectopic pregnancy 3 months before I conceived Ben. I also felt he was a boy, and such an urgency to get pregnant again. When I did, I felt it was his way of finding his way to me...it was so healing.

One night, while we were snuggling in bed, I said, to Ben, "thank you for coming to me" and he said, "you're welcome"...

Congratulations and to you and your little soul.

~Joan, Happy mom to 2 beautiful kiddos, one new puppy and 2 lovely felines
Mom4tot is offline  
Old 01-31-2005, 10:30 PM
 
fourgrtkidos's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: near Nirvana
Posts: 3,093
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
WOW, I am so happy to find others who have experienced this.

I lost my first daughter at 19 weeks, my second pregnancy. It was horrible and scary, a very prolonged and drawn out, overly dramatic end to my pregnancy, while I was married to a nasty man(who contributed to her demise. I felt this soul hang about through 2 more births (with the same man) and then finally 8 years later my 5th pregnancy (married to a new husband)knew she was finally not afraid to be born. It occured to me about 3 months into my last pregnancy that instead of feeliing her hanging about, I felt her inside of me. It is funny to watch her boss around her big sisters and "mother" them as if she was the eldest. It was also odd also how long it took her to "warm up" to me. She would nurse and sleep next to me, but prefered her father always, even did not kiss me until she was like 18mos old. I would say that I was paranoid but other people have commented that they had not seen a nursed baby be so attached to the Dad. I think she remembers the trauma of the first go around and really wasn't totally confident in me.

Anyway..... I'll stop rambling.
Michelle
fourgrtkidos is offline  
Old 01-31-2005, 10:44 PM
 
FreeRangeMama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Posts: 3,240
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I had an early m/c in Nov 2002. The day I conceived I dozed off while nursing ds1 to sleep. I had a dream of a beautiful, fair haired, blue eyed, chubby baby. This baby "said" something to me like, "don't worry mama, I won't stick around this time, but I will be back soon." I conceived later that night, but had an early m/c weeks later. 19 days after that m/c I conceived my ds2. I had totally forgotten about that dream, but when ds2 was a couple of months old we were in the tub together. He looked up at me and smiled the most beautiful child and I recognized him from my dream!! I was an amazing moment of familiarity and unconditional love.


 

FreeRangeMama is offline  
Old 01-31-2005, 11:23 PM
 
RachelGS's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: In a state of perpetual disbelief
Posts: 6,190
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Oh, my goodness, FRM, that gives me chills. I might be totally wrong, but I still feel like I might conceive soon and that it will be that same soul. Your story makes me feel much less scared about that possibility.
RachelGS is offline  
Old 01-31-2005, 11:56 PM - Thread Starter
 
LoveChild421's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: North GA
Posts: 4,490
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I am so happy to hear I'm not the only one experienceing this- I think it is such a beautiful feeling and it gives me so much hope and trust in the universe- that things can come back and be ok in the end.

I can't wait to hold him and thank him for coming back to me and being so understanding. I know he will be my best friend and is truly a special soul.

I wish you all the best, thanks for sharing your stories with me.

Jen read.gif Mama of 2 precious boys blowkiss.gif (9)  flowersforyou.gif (6)  and still in heartbeat.gif with my Matt hat.gif after 12 years together. 

rainbow1284.gif Domestic Violence Children's Advocate and Counselor hug2.gif

 homebirth.jpg bf.jpg nocirc.gif ribbonjigsaw.gif 

LoveChild421 is offline  
Old 02-01-2005, 04:31 AM
 
FreeRangeMama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Posts: 3,240
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
It really was amazing!! I knew as soon as I was late that I was pg but it wouldn't "stick" and I was not surprised or sad at all when I started bleeding because I knew my baby would be back. I was very sad the next cycle though because dh was very sick around the time I was fertile and I thought we had missed our chance. I DID conceive though (obviously) and it was just a really peaceful pregnancy. My ds was born 2 days after my birthday and it was a really long difficult labor. I felt so connected to him though that I knew it would be okay. He is such an amazing little boy


 

FreeRangeMama is offline  
Old 02-02-2005, 11:07 AM
 
Slackermom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2003
Posts: 1,211
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I do believe this. It didn't happen to me after our first m/c - I'd felt strongly that the baby was a boy, and felt strongly that our next babe was a girl (and she was), and I didn't feel that it was the same little soul at all. I still feel him around me, though, so maybe he'll try to come back to us sometime soon.
Slackermom is offline  
Old 02-02-2005, 12:54 PM
 
polka hop's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2003
Posts: 826
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
*
polka hop is offline  
Old 02-04-2005, 10:10 PM - Thread Starter
 
LoveChild421's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: North GA
Posts: 4,490
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I did give him the same name- he always felt like " my Grey" to me. So when I felt him again I found myself unable to call him anything else. I lost him at 8 weeks though and so don't have the issue of baby books and things like that to think about.

I wish you all blessings and just remember- love always comes back one way or another

Jen read.gif Mama of 2 precious boys blowkiss.gif (9)  flowersforyou.gif (6)  and still in heartbeat.gif with my Matt hat.gif after 12 years together. 

rainbow1284.gif Domestic Violence Children's Advocate and Counselor hug2.gif

 homebirth.jpg bf.jpg nocirc.gif ribbonjigsaw.gif 

LoveChild421 is offline  
Old 02-06-2005, 09:04 AM
 
shaylahc's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Posts: 92
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
YES! I absolutely believe this!

I had a m/c in June 2003. I have 3 DDs and at the time felt very strongly that the baby was a boy. When I miscarried at 9 weeks I had such a terrible sense of loss. It took me 6 months to recover enough emotionally to conceive again. I got my + pregnancy test about a week or so before my m/c baby had been due. I have never once again grieved the loss of that m/c baby since I got pregnant with my now 4 month old son. I believe 100% in my heart that the baby I hold in my arms is the soul that I miscarried.

Interstingly my 2nd DD was a twin and I lost the twin around 8-10 weeks gestation. My 2nd DD was born with serious medical and developmental problems. I remembered thinking at the time that God never gives you more than you can handle. I was 23 at the time I think having twins (1 special needs) would have sent me over the edge. I kept feeling the baby's presence very strongly, and when DD#2 was 12 months old I conceived DD#3. My mom even had a dream about her and asked me if I was pregnant before I even told anyone! After I had her, I didn't feel that little soul hanging around anymore. She was with me now.....

I have also noticed before I get pregnant I can sense the time to have another baby is nearing. None of my children was a planned baby except for my last and it's amazing how I start washing the baby clothes, etc, only just a few months/weeks before it happens. I even knew my last baby would be a boy. No idea how, I just knew.

So yes, I believe the souls of lost babies can come back to you.

Have you ever noticed that a lot of times mamas who have lost a child go on to have twins? I personally know 2 people that this has happened to.
shaylahc is offline  
Old 02-08-2005, 08:14 PM
 
ishtarmaia's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: in a constant state of evolution
Posts: 190
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I miscarried in April 2004, my first m/c, and was totally devastated. I cried for days and couldn't get out of bed. No one understood because I was ONLY 3 wks. pregnant (I had conceived on the Spring Equinox, March 20th) and it didn't seem real to anyone but me. Even DH was lost. My kids were the only ones who seemed to understand. They drew me pictures and gave me stickers for the baby.
I conceived again in late April, but due to my raging hormones I didn't really realize it fully until almost the end of May when I hadn't gotten my period. I kept thinking my ovulation was off because of the m/c, but no, I was actually pregnant again! I was so happy I think I was walking around on a cloud for weeks afterward.
The pregnancy went great. A little morning sickness, as expected, and then smooth sailing until the end. All along I knew this was the same soul that I had m/c. I was so grateful that he had come back to me so soon!
Now the irony: He was born on January 21, 2005, limp and purple, asphyxiated by the same lifeline that had kept him alive and nourished his existence in the womb. I know he was alive right up until he started coming down the birth canal because he kicked me really hard right then. I know now that must've been when he started to lose oxygen. His head was huge and it took me forever (20 minutes) to finally push him out, and by then he was already gone.
I have learned so much from this experience and I am forever grateful for my son, Ronan Diego, but I still find it ironic that he would come twice, right in a row, and still not stay with me. It seems crushing to have lost him two separate times, but I feel that his spirit is still around me. I talk to him and tell him that he is always welcome to come back to me if I am ever ready for him, or maybe he was just too pure and has to be an angel. I don't know. I do hope I get a chance to know him again, whether it be in this life or the next.

Blessings to all,
ishtarmaia is offline  
Old 02-11-2005, 12:20 AM
 
shannon0218's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 11,573
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I'm a believer too, I felt Molly move for the first time on the anniversary of my due date for our last loss. I was reduced to tears in the middle of a very busy farmers market--I think it was her way of telling me it would finally be alright.
Have you read this?
http://www.babycatcher.net/excerpt2.html

It gave me such comfort after my loss.
shannon0218 is offline  
Old 02-11-2005, 01:18 AM
 
Mom4tot's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Pemberley
Posts: 15,236
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by shannon0218
I'm a believer too, I felt Molly move for the first time on the anniversary of my due date for our last loss. I was reduced to tears in the middle of a very busy farmers market--I think it was her way of telling me it would finally be alright.
Have you read this?
http://www.babycatcher.net/excerpt2.html

It gave me such comfort after my loss.

Thank you, Shannon

When someone asked me recently, 'why I would want another baby, now?', I thought, "why not??" Just for the joy of it!

~Joan, Happy mom to 2 beautiful kiddos, one new puppy and 2 lovely felines
Mom4tot is offline  
Old 02-13-2005, 12:05 AM
 
Fleurette's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2003
Posts: 323
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Yes, I believe it, too. I lost my first pregnancy at 9 weeks. I had always felt it was a boy. I got pregnant with dd soon afterwards. My last pregnancy was twins and once I met my boys, I knew that one of them was my angel baby. He was the baby who, in utero, was the positioned physically closest to my heart. I'm certain of it and I'm so very happy he's back with us.
Fleurette is offline  
Old 02-20-2005, 12:50 AM
 
Aurora's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: A pile of wool yarn!
Posts: 3,677
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
This thread has me crying, but hopeful. I miscarried our wee one on New Years Day this year and I want my baby back. I pray that I will have the chance to be a mother to the sweet soul I lost.


teapot2.GIF jog.gif

Aurora is offline  
Old 02-23-2005, 05:50 AM
 
OakEmber's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: BC
Posts: 642
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
As you can see, you most definately aren't alone! It's so nice to see so many others who feel the same. The wierd/neat thing (whichever way you want to see it) is that I have always believed this, even as a child....although like many of you I am sure, I never expected to have a m/c.

I had a m/c on Nov.5/03 at 8 weeks. I felt it was a boy, Oakley...Dd at the time was already calling saying it was a boy and already calling him that. When I had the m/c she was 3 and told me "next time you have a baby it will be the same one, Oakley, the baby we always wanted". To me, maybe it's b/c I saw the fetus and it had no arm or legs buds, I just feel it was simple a genetic mishap and therefore the soul would just re-enter. As to why? I'm not sure...maybe he wanted to be a Scorpio instead of a Gemini.

Ishtarmaia- OMG your post sent shivers down my spine, my heart mourns for you. My Oakley got stuck momentarily (shoulder dystocia) and had apgars of only 2 (he had a weak heartbeat but it was there, and had some color)...and it took 3 mins until he breathed on his own. I hope you are reunited again with your little boy soon.

Riotkrrn- As you can see by my sig. line, yes I did use the name I had intended....but it is different in your situation, I personally would probably use a variation of Mary or use it for a middle name...maybe when you are pregnant again something will come to you.

So now my little soulman is nearly 4 months old...I am told all the time how advanced he is, and how big he looks, that he looks and acts like a 6 month old at least and it makes me half wonder if he maybe thinks that he is.

I just wanted to say how much I enjoyed reading the other posts.
OakEmber is offline  
 
User Tag List

Thread Tools


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off