I've had a hard week - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 12 Old 03-10-2005, 07:28 PM - Thread Starter
 
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First, i want to say that i am just going to type. i am not going to goback and read, or double check spelling. i just need to get this out. I miscarried this week at about 6.5 weeks. the spotting started thurs, and by saturday was full on bleeding. I eneded up in the er, andthey did an internal US which was inclusive. they couldn't find anything. my levels were too low. monday i went for another blood test, and the levels were indeed going down. I was so crampy on monday. i just laid in bed all day long in the ftal position. tues i bled so much i couln't believe it. again, in bed all day. thank god dh was able to take days from work. griffin, my 6 year old climbed in to snuggle with me. i just told him i didn't feel good, nand he wanted to make me feel better. while wee were laying there snuggling, i got so sad, thinking about this amazing moment with my son, and how i would not have these moments with whoever this baby would have been.

the bleeding is finally slowing down, but i feel like in some way i don't weant it to be over. once it's over, that's it. there will be nothing else to the process, y a know. is it starnge of me to feel like i am not ready for the bleeding to stop? is it wierd that i am not ready for this to be over? anyone else feel that? i also feel like everyone around me just wantes me to ok, and be over it. not dh, buteveryon else!

ok, i am going to end this here. i am sorry if it is so fragmented, this is how my head i s right now. thanks for letting me purge this info out. i needed to do it soo honestly and openly. most people don't seem to want to know that stuff.

hugs to all
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#2 of 12 Old 03-10-2005, 07:48 PM
 
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I am sorry for your loss.
Please know that you are welcome here. As you feel ready, I encourage you to share more about how you are feeling. You are wanted and needed here.

love and peace to you mama...
Jackie
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#3 of 12 Old 03-10-2005, 09:10 PM
 
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I'm so sorry that you are so sad and grief stricken. I just went through a m/c and all I can say is that everyone has to deal with it in their own way. I don't think that anything you are feeling is strange or wrong, and I think that you are very lucky that you dh is supporting your sadness and grief. I was still very sad for more than a week. You need to take time for yourself, work through it the best way for you and your family, and understand that other people may simply not understand what you are going through. I spent many hours laying in bed with my 8yo and 6yo and found amazing comfort in them trying to comfort me (they served me one scary dinner of pnut butter and jelly ) It does get easier- just don't rush it....
this is an amazing place to get support- write whenever you need help...
Love and a peaceful healing to you..
tomjon
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#4 of 12 Old 03-10-2005, 09:11 PM
 
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I am so sorry.

Mama to 9 so far:Mother of Joey (20), Dominick (13), Abigail (11), Angelo (8), Mylee (6), Delainey (3), Colton (2) and Baby 8 and Baby 9 coming sometime in July 2013.   If evolution were true, mothers would have three arms!

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#5 of 12 Old 03-10-2005, 10:28 PM
 
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I'm so sorry you lost your baby.

And it makes perfect sense to me that you would feel like you didn't want the bleeding to end. It's final then. And yes, I too felt that people around me expected me to be "better" or "back to normal."

This is life-changing event. Give yourself lots and lots of time to grieve.

Single Mom to 3 (12, 17 & 21)  luxlove.gif and dog2.gif.

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#6 of 12 Old 03-10-2005, 10:34 PM
 
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He who can no longer pause to wonder and stand rapt in awe is as good as dead; his eyes are closed.  ~Albert Einstein
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#7 of 12 Old 03-10-2005, 11:31 PM
 
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So sorry you are going through this loss. Share here whatever you need to and take all the time you need to grieve.
-Angela

Quoteriginally Posted by aswbarry~A~ Mama to DD 6y, DD , DD 3y and DD 1y
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#8 of 12 Old 03-11-2005, 03:51 AM
 
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I am sorry about your loss.

please feel free to share and vent as much as you need to, we are great listenners

tara
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#9 of 12 Old 03-11-2005, 09:06 PM
 
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I am sorry for your loss, and hope that being here will bring you comfort in knowing that you are not alone... Be good to yourself and know that you are in our thoughts...
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#10 of 12 Old 03-11-2005, 10:04 PM
 
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I'm so very sorry
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#11 of 12 Old 03-12-2005, 07:19 PM
 
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Let it all out. We're here to help you grieve.
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#12 of 12 Old 03-18-2005, 01:25 AM - Thread Starter
 
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thanks so much to everyon who took the time to read what i had to say. that was theraputic in and of itself!

thanks
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