First, i want to say that i am just going to type. i am not going to goback and read, or double check spelling. i just need to get this out. I miscarried this week at about 6.5 weeks. the spotting started thurs, and by saturday was full on bleeding. I eneded up in the er, andthey did an internal US which was inclusive. they couldn't find anything. my levels were too low. monday i went for another blood test, and the levels were indeed going down. I was so crampy on monday. i just laid in bed all day long in the ftal position. tues i bled so much i couln't believe it. again, in bed all day. thank god dh was able to take days from work. griffin, my 6 year old climbed in to snuggle with me. i just told him i didn't feel good, nand he wanted to make me feel better. while wee were laying there snuggling, i got so sad, thinking about this amazing moment with my son, and how i would not have these moments with whoever this baby would have been.
the bleeding is finally slowing down, but i feel like in some way i don't weant it to be over. once it's over, that's it. there will be nothing else to the process, y a know. is it starnge of me to feel like i am not ready for the bleeding to stop? is it wierd that i am not ready for this to be over? anyone else feel that? i also feel like everyone around me just wantes me to ok, and be over it. not dh, buteveryon else!
ok, i am going to end this here. i am sorry if it is so fragmented, this is how my head i s right now. thanks for letting me purge this info out. i needed to do it soo honestly and openly. most people don't seem to want to know that stuff.
hugs to all