I wanted to let you know that you are not alone with losing a baby. I have lost two. I just lost one in April of this year. I felt so mad at myself for cleaning the house that day I started to spot. I asked myself what would have happened if I just let my teenage and pre-teen clean the house. What if I did this or that differently, but in the end I now realize it just wasn't meant to be. This is all after I talked to my OB, dad, my best friend, and taking three months of healing emotionally. I cried, screamed, yelled, threw things, left the house for walks on my own and didn't tell my family, then I would be normal like nothing happened at all and then it would happen all over again. This was my way of grieving for what happened. I finally recovered physically and emotionally. We are trying to have another baby, but we keep missing the day. I still get jealous of others who have kept their babies or just became pregnant. My dad (retired social worker) said this is normal for me, since my baby was taken from so soon. I want to be pregnant again so bad.
You need to take it slow and recover from the physical part of this sad situation. You will need to grieve in your own way for as long as you need to for yourself. This will be a slow recovery for you emotionally too. If you want to talk about this just pm, I would be glad to listen. It's hard to see your baby boy come into the world and leave so soon.
Your little guy saw that you needed some extra love at the time, when he saw his job was complete he left to be with his maker again. You will both meet again in a different place. Just remember that he will be watching over you always.
Here are some (((HUGS))) and some
to help you along in your journey of life you are now traveling on.