D&C -- what do they do with the remains? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 4 Old 07-19-2007, 11:18 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I hope this isn't too weird and disturbing a question. I'm scheduled for a D&C next week. I'm at 12 weeks but U/S showed DC stopped growing at 8 weeks. My DH wants to keep the fetal remains and bury them. I honestly don't know what to think, hadn't considered it. Has anyone done anything like this?


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#2 of 4 Old 07-19-2007, 11:32 PM
 
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Julia Rose, I'm sorry you have lost your baby.

I don't think the hospital can release the remains directly to you---state laws and all.

In my case, the hospital gave us the option of the remains going to an anonymous local funeral home that had space in their cemetery devoted to babies. It was sort of a mass burial kind of concept.

We could have opted to have the remains transported to a funeral home of our choice for burial or cremation.

We didn't know about this choice until the day of the D & C, so didn't come prepared to answer. So we went with the anonymous funeral home.

I would rather have the remains somewhere I could visit. But I don't spend time beating myself up over it.

It is wise that you are considering this now, so you can make a choice that works for you. If I were you, I would call the hospital and see what your options are.

I don't think anyone has posted a question that was too weird or disturbing for this board. We understand, it's okay to ask anything.

Take care. I'll be thinking of you.
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#3 of 4 Old 07-20-2007, 12:34 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Thank you, Keri, that is so helpful. The D&C is being done in a private doctor's office (referred by my OB), so I will call -- though I guess honestly I'm a little afraid of what they will think. And I am not too keen to see the remains. And if DH sees them he will surely faint, as he can't stand the sight of blood. So all in all I don't know what he has planned, but when he brought it up, it kind of made sense. After all, when a pet dies you have the option of having the remains returned to you; but this is different. I think the important thing is the baby's soul, not its tiny indeterminate body . . . but I will look into it.

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#4 of 4 Old 07-20-2007, 12:39 AM
 
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I'm sorry about the loss of your baby.

I was almost 32 weeks, so they pretty much gave us no choice except to do a burial or creamation with the funeral home of our choice.

I wasn't really interested in any other options though. I doubt they could release it directly to you though.

Hugs and prayers.
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