Julia Rose, I'm sorry you have lost your baby.
I don't think the hospital can release the remains directly to you---state laws and all.
In my case, the hospital gave us the option of the remains going to an anonymous local funeral home that had space in their cemetery devoted to babies. It was sort of a mass burial kind of concept.
We could have opted to have the remains transported to a funeral home of our choice for burial or cremation.
We didn't know about this choice until the day of the D & C, so didn't come prepared to answer. So we went with the anonymous funeral home.
I would rather have the remains somewhere I could visit. But I don't spend time beating myself up over it.
It is wise that you are considering this now, so you can make a choice that works for you. If I were you, I would call the hospital and see what your options are.
I don't think anyone has posted a question that was too weird or disturbing for this board. We understand, it's okay to ask anything.
Take care. I'll be thinking of you.