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Old 08-05-2009, 06:53 PM
 
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Andrea, you made me LOL because I too love a little controversy, especially when it's for something so important like breastfeeding.

ok, last night, i heard something crunching outside the window. i went out and there was one doe walking around near our deck. i asked her if she was hungry and ran back in to grab some of our old produce. i sat on the edge of the deck in the dark, rolling peaches to her. it was so nice, just this hungry doe and me, lit only by the moon.

Christie

Vegan, homeschooling mom to my 3 boys and my girl, missing Matthew born still at 34 weeks
 

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Old 08-05-2009, 07:09 PM
 
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My son ran into the bedroom this morning, climbed into bed with me, gave me a big hug and said: "I just. . . I just. . . I just LOVE YOU mama!"

Monica, mom to Lilly (7) and Carter (4) and rainbow baby Elsa (11/27/10).
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Old 08-06-2009, 04:36 PM
 
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at 2am this morning, i stood out on the deck. the moon was full and bright. dark storm clouds moved across it. it was so beautiful!

and this morning, i was feeding our dog and all the chickens surrounded her. it was so funny, they would steal a piece while she was chewing. lol

Christie

Vegan, homeschooling mom to my 3 boys and my girl, missing Matthew born still at 34 weeks
 

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Old 08-07-2009, 05:41 AM
 
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i don't feel like anything was beautiful today so i shouldn't be posting here. but i'm so sad tonight and i don't want to start a thread about it. i just wanted to post somewhere and know that you will all be here tomorrow... and that somehow this will all be ok. i will find something beautiful tomorrow.

Christie

Vegan, homeschooling mom to my 3 boys and my girl, missing Matthew born still at 34 weeks
 

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Old 08-07-2009, 12:49 PM
 
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Originally Posted by calmom View Post
i don't feel like anything was beautiful today so i shouldn't be posting here. but i'm so sad tonight and i don't want to start a thread about it. i just wanted to post somewhere and know that you will all be here tomorrow... and that somehow this will all be ok. i will find something beautiful tomorrow.
Aww, Christie I'm sorry you had a rough day... Yesterday was difficult for me too. I've only been up a little while, so I'm not sure which direction this day is headed yet... I want to go visit Freja sometime this evening because I won't be around for the 10th (the day she died) to be with her. I always feel driven to visit her particularily on those three days every month (day she was born, day she died, day she was buried.) I feel those days are hers. But, it's very hard for me emotionally to go to her spot. I'm usually a wreck for quite a while afterward.
We saw BIL's deer last night while we were out riding the quad and I thought of you., Christie. I took some awesome pictures of them the other day, I'll post them on my blog when we get back from our trip.

Mom to three girls and a BOY: (2003) (2007) (3/25/2009 - 4/10/2009) (5/2010)
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Old 08-07-2009, 12:54 PM
 
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Today I went to a nurse-in to support World Breastfeeding Week. It was really hard to see all the mamas that I haven't seen since my belly went away. It was also hard to see the twins. I think it was hard for people to see me too, I could tell people didn't know what to say and may have avoided talking to me.

Other than that it was nice to get out and support something that I'm so passionate about. Nothin' like a little controversy in the mall to make me smile, LOL!
That is great that you went to the nurse-in. Even better that you're still bf'ing (assuming you are!) It was so very difficult for me when my dd2 weaned when I was around 20 wks pregnant. I'm a marathon nurser, I like to nurse my babies till they're.... well.... not babies! lol

Mom to three girls and a BOY: (2003) (2007) (3/25/2009 - 4/10/2009) (5/2010)
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Old 08-07-2009, 01:09 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Ah, I'll just do this for old time's sakes

My beautiful thing for yesterday was placing Josie's little hands as my desktop background. They're folded over one another and look so serene. Felt good putting them there - she a couple of tears but it felt good.

Beautiful thing for today is that I once again get to work at projects I love to do! I am so blessed to be able to work in the way I work and do the work I do! Thank you, the powers that be, for helping me find the strength in the aftermath of the biggest tragedy, to change my life and the lives of my family members for the better by focusing on the important things in life and going for the goals I should have gone for years ago. I am truly a lucky, lucky person.

*HUGE hugs* everyone! XXXX

Mama to Josie , lost 10/10/08 at 37.4 weeks .
and my rainbow baby, Isobella Mai ...born 1/12/2010 ! in profile...
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Old 08-07-2009, 01:23 PM
 
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Jayjay
It's really good to have positive things to be thankful for! Your job sounds wonderful and so does your family. Through this tragedy of losing our daughter, I am thankful for the fact that it's brought DP and I closer, and made us more sensitive and intuitive to eachothers needs and feelings.

Mom to three girls and a BOY: (2003) (2007) (3/25/2009 - 4/10/2009) (5/2010)
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Old 08-07-2009, 04:13 PM
 
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Originally Posted by calmom View Post
i don't feel like anything was beautiful today so i shouldn't be posting here. but i'm so sad tonight and i don't want to start a thread about it. i just wanted to post somewhere and know that you will all be here tomorrow... and that somehow this will all be ok. i will find something beautiful tomorrow.
I hope that today is a better day. We are all here for you, reading your words and supporting you, however you feel. I'm sorry yesterday was a hard day for you. Somehow it will be all OK. Somehow we're all making it through, one day at a time. You've already done so well to make it so far, and have been doing so much to help yourself. I believe you'll find something beautiful today.

rainbow1284.gifenergy.gifAugust 2010 ; angel2.gif April 2009; angel1.gif m/c 2008

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Old 08-07-2009, 04:38 PM
 
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today, i'm grateful for the wonderful time my 14yo ds has been having at my mom's house. my little sister is 16 so he has a constant buddy while he's there. they've gone camping with their youth group, swam every day, played volleyball yesterday and tonight he's going to a youth group pool party.

i'm still so sad today. i've been crying more than i have in several weeks. so my other beautiful thing is all of you!

Christie

Vegan, homeschooling mom to my 3 boys and my girl, missing Matthew born still at 34 weeks
 

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Old 08-09-2009, 03:43 AM
 
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we have a new chicken. she doesn't get along with the rest of the flock yet so as we sat on the dock eating lunch, she sat at our feet eating our scraps. it was so cute.

Christie

Vegan, homeschooling mom to my 3 boys and my girl, missing Matthew born still at 34 weeks
 

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Old 08-10-2009, 04:40 AM
 
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little quail family running across the road.

Christie

Vegan, homeschooling mom to my 3 boys and my girl, missing Matthew born still at 34 weeks
 

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Old 08-12-2009, 04:11 AM
 
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i found my very best friend from kindergarten on facebook. i have missed her so much!

Christie

Vegan, homeschooling mom to my 3 boys and my girl, missing Matthew born still at 34 weeks
 

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Old 08-12-2009, 04:58 AM
 
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This one is from yesterday. I was listening to a podcast on my walk, and a man rang up the radio station to enter his wife in a fashion show. His wife had had a mastectomy and had just lost her mum, and he thought she was just so beautiful and deserved to be in the show. It was so sweet and it brought a tear to my eye.

rainbow1284.gifenergy.gifAugust 2010 ; angel2.gif April 2009; angel1.gif m/c 2008

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Old 08-12-2009, 05:10 AM
 
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This beautiful thing was last week, this weekend was super shitty and tonight marks the first 12th since my last one with Amelia. Anyway, I was driving in the car and I pulled down the vanity mirror. There were the "c&k" letter stickers I put on my mirror after my first date with Dh. As I looked past the stickers into the mirror I saw a flicker of my old eyes, wth their wrinkles from always being a smiler. It was beautiful to see that they aren't really gone forever. Just for now. C&K indeed.

Cindy, joyful SAH mama to rainbow1284.gif William & Katherinefly-by-nursing2.gif Forever missing Amelia 7-12-09 angel3.gif  signcirc1.gifsaynovax.giflactivist.gif Ask me about my natural cesarean! 

 

 

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Old 08-13-2009, 03:12 AM
 
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jules, that is so sweet. what a nice dh!

WFK, i love that. c&k

today, i was pushing the jogger up my steep hill in the blazing sun and for a few seconds, there was a breeze. just enough for me to remember that things do still feel good.

Christie

Vegan, homeschooling mom to my 3 boys and my girl, missing Matthew born still at 34 weeks
 

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Old 08-13-2009, 12:59 PM
 
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I just watched Community with Joel McHale (premiering this fall - if you're a fan on facebook you get to watch it). It made me laugh. Big, fat belly laughs, guffaws. Fun stuff. Felt good.

Also, I've neglected my garden for weeks now. I just checked on it and it's FULL of green tomatoes that will be red soon.

Monica, mom to Lilly (7) and Carter (4) and rainbow baby Elsa (11/27/10).
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Old 08-13-2009, 01:19 PM
 
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We had a wonderful vacation with our friends at their cabin. Much needed for our whole family. The kids had lots of fun, and it was such a BEAUTIFUL area! I took tons of pictures. It felt so good to laugh and enjoy the company of others!

Mom to three girls and a BOY: (2003) (2007) (3/25/2009 - 4/10/2009) (5/2010)
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Old 08-13-2009, 02:55 PM
 
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Monica, I might have to check that out. Is it kid appropriate?

alternamama, you're back!!!! i've missed you and wondering how the trip went. so glad it was nice and you're safe at home again. (((hugs)))

Christie

Vegan, homeschooling mom to my 3 boys and my girl, missing Matthew born still at 34 weeks
 

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Old 07-06-2012, 02:42 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I think I'll bump this... Yes, I know it's nearly three years since the last post but it helped us all very much in the very beginning. :)


Mama to Josie , lost 10/10/08 at 37.4 weeks .
and my rainbow baby, Isobella Mai ...born 1/12/2010 ! in profile...
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Old 07-08-2012, 03:53 PM
 
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Today I realised I can control very little.

I had a nice day with my kids, we went to a horse show.

 I realise only god is in control.

I can only control certain things, like my posture...lol.


8 might be enough
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Old 07-09-2012, 03:13 AM
 
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Wow, I remember this thread, and you JayJay!

You've prompted a bit of stalking on my behalf to see what others are up to.  


          Me & him and our beautiful fur boys Duke and Chopz
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