Small gripe about this forum - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 117 Old 03-22-2004, 11:14 AM - Thread Starter
 
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When I first started coming to this forum when my oldest was about 18 mos. old, it was a wealth of information. I learned so much about diaper washing, care, rash problems, etc. There were a few odd threads about some new diaper, or someone stocking on their website.

Well . . . lately I feel so out of the loop. It seems that at least half of the threads are about who has new dipes in stock, or about who is bidding on what dipe on ebay, or who is getting what dipe in the mail. I have my system, I'm mostly happy with it, and frankly I don't have the $$ to buy fancy WAHM dipes to replace the workhorse dipes of my current stash. Nor do I have the time to keep up with who's the latest WAHM diapering diva. I feel that it's turning in to a clique.

I don't mind a few of these threads because I will click on the links out of curiosity and admire the workmanship or whatever. But often I really have to search for the threads about washing and general diapering care. I have invited three new cloth diapering friends of mine (yes I converted all of them! hee hee!) to this board because I used to find it so informative. However each of them has come here and then shied away because they get overwhelmed by all the diaper product talk, and feel that they don't have time to sift through the threads to learn about how to care for their dipes or solve their diapering problems.

Do any of the other "oldies" feel this way? Or is it just me? Do you think there's something the mods can do about it? Perhaps create a "Hyena Talk" forum where people can share their excitement about the hot new dipes and what they are getting in the mail or stalking on ebay? I really appreciate the product review forum btw.

Darshani

7yo: "Mom,I know which man is on a quarter and which on is on a nickel. They both have ponytails, but one man has a collar and the other man is naked. The naked man was our first president."
 
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#2 of 117 Old 03-22-2004, 11:20 AM
 
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I know what you mean

Sometimes reading this forum is a bit like watching commercials on t.v.

As a mom on a tight budget, that can be hard to deal with sometimes. I enjoy trying new dipes, but the buying frenzy quickly becomes obsessive and unhealthy to me.

And part of the reason I like cloth is my move away from spending money! The whole 'anticonsumer' thing!

Suddenly I went from "I don't want anything. I'm just enjoying life and my kids." to "And I want this. Oh and this! Ooooh and this!"
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#3 of 117 Old 03-22-2004, 11:23 AM
 
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I feel like that too. I learned alot when I came here but wasn't diapering yet. I thought I knew it all then, and now that I am diapering and want to find that info again its not so easy.
Although I do enjoy some of the hyena talk too.
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#4 of 117 Old 03-22-2004, 11:24 AM
 
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Well the problem is, that diaper care/ basic use is a top that doesn't really change, so to keep posting the same things over and over get old, we do have a diapering resources section that has all these topics covered, that never really change.

The product talk and the new finds is what keeps the board fresh and changing and keeps people coming back (IMO) I think if all we talked about was how many times you rinse your diapers and how to hand wash wool we would be awful boring!

Not that I always feel 'in the know' about all the products and things people use/try, I don't use pocket diapers really, but I still enjoy looking and hearing about them. I am happy with our system but I do enjoy reading about it.

I don't feel that the board is cliquish though, to me a clique is when someone is excluded or shuned when they try and join in and aren't excepted. To me anyone that jumps in here with a post about whatever is usually greeted with warm open arms.
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#5 of 117 Old 03-22-2004, 11:25 AM
 
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I agree Darshani.

Not that I am diapering anyone, but I used to come here and learn so much, and now it is mainly stockings, with a new trend to not mention the stocking until its happened which is foreign to me as everyone used to stalk together on one thread (like SOS threads on fridays).

But this board is consumer driven, and if people want to talk more about brands than diaper care, I am not sure that there is anything anyone can do.

Of course I do enjoy hearing about new products and stockings and whatnot. But I wish there was more diversity in the postings.
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#6 of 117 Old 03-22-2004, 11:32 AM
 
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I've felt both ways about it, Darshani. When I came here, I had basically only used mass produced dipes b/c the few wahm ones I tried were crap. This board was invaluable to me for finding wahm dipes that would work. Once I knew what worked, I wasn't interested in 20 threads about which detergent, but rather 20 threads about did you see this diaper?! Then it got to be fun to buy and try all the new hyena faves. Then it became excessive and addictive and I sold off tons of stuff. I always try to bump up posts that are falling off the page with few replies, esp those asking for info. I try my best to share what has been shared with me. I think that is overall more important than seeing who has what from whom, but I do still love to see who has what. This is my last baby, so I am again getting sucked into trying so and so's diaper out (er uh, buying it to try come May ). Once I settle on my systemS for the baby, I won't feel the need to try it all out all over again. Does that make sense? I think this forum works in balance with the fluffy threads and the info ones being in the same place. We all have the ability to skip threads that don't apply to us.
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#7 of 117 Old 03-22-2004, 11:38 AM
 
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I didn't find this forum until I had been CDing for 4 years already but I really enjoy watching the stalking, doing a little myself and seeing everyone's babes in their new scores. It's fun and stress relieving. I have been to other diapering boards where it really was just care and startinf from scratch posts and it got boring for me-I wanted to be in with other diaper fanatics who were always browsing cute new stuff and passing on new sites.
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#8 of 117 Old 03-22-2004, 11:39 AM
 
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I only have a sec... but I wanted to say that I like the way the board is, I think it is fun and is truly about the spirit of cloth diapering.

Also... all of the information about the care of diapers and info that doesn't really change with the times can be found in Diapering Archives. Answering the samw questions over and over does get boring but they do seem to get answered just the same.

I also agree with the PP that said that the board embraces everyone with open arms. I think it can seem a little clique-ish if you are not around much because this is a fast moving board.

Amy: Certified Professional Midwife and mom to Max (11) and Stella (6).
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#9 of 117 Old 03-22-2004, 11:42 AM
 
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I do agree with Marnie about the definition of a clique and think that this isn't one here.

And I've also been around long enough to remember a post exactly like yours, stating that the forum had become a clique and calling for change, somewhere around 8-10 months ago. That thread gots lots of traffic from outside the diapering board, and that might have been the thread where (as a result) the diapering forum got taken off the "main" list, so that diapering posts wouldn't show up in "view new posts" on the main forum site. As a result, you can't search for topics in the diapering board, which I think is a real PITA (though you can if you join some special group or something, there are instructions at the top of the forum).

There have been numerous suggestions for changing things here, including having a separate forum for pics of fluffymail, but in the end people have always decided that it's the variety that keeps things going here. Like many internet communities, this one ebbs and flows with the interests of those who post, and right now that seems to be a pretty high level of hyena-ess. So I understand where you're coming from to some degree. But there are also various "help" posts about newborn stashes or wash routines or wool care, and those are always answered, many times several times over.

I think it is unrealistic for all of us to think that any internet forum will always be a place where we feel it is perfectly suited to our needs. Sometimes we will feel full in the "flow" of things, and other times we will be rather marginal with our issues as compared to the larger group as a whole. That's just life. Sometimes you post something and it spawns a thread that lasts for days. Othertimes you post something and nobody answers at all-- or maybe (if I'm remembering correctly from a couple of weeks ago), it goes unanswered for months and then gets bumped and answered to the first page. All of these things are totally normal. As the old saying on the internet goes, if you don't like what's here, post what you want to see: ask a question, make an observation, etc (like you just did, I guess, with this post

I also think that it is difficult to characterize (or stereotype) this group as being all about buying diapers or posting diaper pictures or anything else. There is incredible variety in the posts on this forum, if you actually look. And whether or not some kinds of posts predominate over others is really a function of what time of day or day of the week it is. Lots of posts resurface with the same question or same content over and over again (like this post, perhaps).

Finally, I believe that the last thing needed to fix what ain't broke is more moderator action in this forum. I would strongly oppose any "fix" by the moderators.

Karla
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#10 of 117 Old 03-22-2004, 11:45 AM
 
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What Karla said...

Amy: Certified Professional Midwife and mom to Max (11) and Stella (6).
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#11 of 117 Old 03-22-2004, 11:47 AM
 
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Yea! Wha Karla said
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#12 of 117 Old 03-22-2004, 11:50 AM
 
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This board was instrumental in educating me about diapes before DS was born. I knew that I wanted to use cloth, but was overwhelmed by the choices and lingo.

At first I was still overwhelmed by the lingo and acronyms, but stuck with it and learned invaluable information about where to buy prefolds, how to use same, wash same etc.

I have a "boring" system compared to most of what the other posters discuss. I have mostly PUL covers and UBCPFs and FB for nightime. I, too, get a little bored with all the stocking talk, because I'm not interested in stalking the newest WAHM fitted or pocket diapes.

Since I received so much help when I was starting out, I feel that it is my duty to help others if they post about issues I can help with. Usually, somone has already posted the exact answer, but I enjoy reading the newbie posts and problems more than then stalking posts.

I don't see the hyena posts as a problem or cliquish per se, I just don't read those posts.

We all come here for different reasons and with different knowledge to offer. I think that MDC gives us the oppertunity to share our experiences. But we can't do that if noone asks questions......
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#13 of 117 Old 03-22-2004, 12:08 PM
 
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I agree with Karla.
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#14 of 117 Old 03-22-2004, 12:12 PM
 
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What Karla said.

I am, relatively speaking, still a newbie both here and to cding, really. I found a couple of boards when I first started cding that were mainly wash & care and problem solving boards. They were very slow moving and not very much fun. I got some good info while reading them, but I no longer visit those forums at all. There's really no point since I now know how to take care of my stuff and those forums already have people giving advice.

I did feel pretty overwhelmed when I first started lurking here, but I've come to really enjoy this forum. I make most of my own diapers, but I still enjoy looking at all that's offered by WAHMs and occasionally buying something. I've found some really great things that I probably wouldn't have found without this forum, and I really enjoy the hyena threads even though my buying is more sporadic than some.
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#15 of 117 Old 03-22-2004, 12:14 PM
 
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Personally, I think this board is a great mix of info, reviews, conversation, pictures, links, etc. When I first started to look into cloth diapering and came to this board, I found tons of advice on getting started, washing, etc. THen when I was ready to start buying, I found tons of info on different types of diapers and where to buy. Now that I am really obsessed with cd-ing, I love reading all the hyena-type posts! Although there are many "regulars" who post tons here, I don't feel the board is "clique-ish" in any way. I agree that it doesn't need any moderator "fixing" ... I like it the way it is
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#16 of 117 Old 03-22-2004, 12:22 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally posted by weetzie
now it is mainly stockings, with a new trend to not mention the stocking until its happened which is foreign to me as everyone used to stalk together on one thread (like SOS threads on fridays).

And I do think it's clique-ish here, there's been a few threads where they're talking about an immenent stocking but won't say which store they're stalking. Someone will ask outright but no one will share which store is being stalked for fear of more competition. THAT'S what really bugs me now. Not that I stalk but still, I hate this "I know something you don't know" stuff.
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#17 of 117 Old 03-22-2004, 12:23 PM
 
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I feel both ways, Darshani. I like it and I don't. What I don't like is the extreme it has become. If this forum was more about washing diapers, people could say it's too much that, too, and I'd agree. I want all aspects covered in one forum. And I don't think that diapering resources covers everything, by any means. I'm always experimenting and learing something new about the technical aspects of diapering.
But, I almost feel like this has become mostly a place for people steeped in diaper buying to come and feed off each other. The amount of posts about that aspect of CDing has become a bit overwhelming here, to me. And since I want those kind of posts here to some extent, cuz I like to compare products and see what's new and all, I guess what I really wish is that everyone was more moderate about it. I mean, I'm somewhat addicted to testing diapers and wash methods as well, but I'm not on here constantly raving about the new detergent I tried or every new diaper I get. When I rave about something, it is pretty darn special to me, but that's just me, and I can't ask others to be like I think they should be. Maybe ALL of these diapers are just as special to everyone here. I wish people could be a little more choosey and critical and would SAVE SOME WATER FOR THE FISH (if you already have 6 Pinheads you don't even use, why are you swiping more when another mama has a hard time getting a hold of one? Yeah, yeah, they are collectors' items! Whatever. ), but oh well. I guess we just have to live with the trends of a board like this. :LOL
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#18 of 117 Old 03-22-2004, 12:25 PM
 
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How many times can we talk about cleaning diapers? :
I don't get to post here much but I guess I just do not understand why there is complaints about talking about all aspects of diapers from finding them to showing them off.

A basic search will help one find threads about cleaning and whatnot.
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#19 of 117 Old 03-22-2004, 12:27 PM
 
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I agree that it's really too easy to get sucked into buying cuter dipes, covers, etc. because of all the hyena talk around here. But it's my choice to come here. It's my choice to click on the threads, links to wahms, links to pics, etc. I have NO willpower when it comes to that, but that's *my* problem. :LOL

I agree it would be rather boring to sit around and discuss how to strip diapers and stinky hemp for the umpteenth time. I do think that sometimes I feel "out of the loop" or despite the fact that I've been coming here since last June, I haven't really bonded with anyone here like some of you have, but that's also *my* problem--if I'd post more, engage in more meaningful conversation, etc. that could happen for me.

I do enjoy coming here and knowing that I'm not alone in my diaper addiction and there is always someone who is more addicted than *I*.
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#20 of 117 Old 03-22-2004, 12:40 PM
 
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Hmm, I think a hyena forum is a good idea. Don't get me wrong, the hyena threads don't bother me at all. In fact I find them great fun, even though I don't stalk. I just think a dedicated forum would make it easier to spread info about the latest hot thing. If you were looking for info on stockings, etc, you could go right to that forum.

I think "Designer Diapers" could be cute name for the forum. I feel that diaper WAHMs are fashion designers!

On the other hand, if people are worried about cliques - this could REALLY create one!

Rainbow.gif ~ Molly
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#21 of 117 Old 03-22-2004, 12:43 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally posted by bokchoy

And I do think it's clique-ish here, there's been a few threads where they're talking about an immenent stocking but won't say which store they're stalking. Someone will ask outright but no one will share which store is being stalked for fear of more competition. THAT'S what really bugs me now. Not that I stalk but still, I hate this "I know something you don't know" stuff.
ITA!! If you are not willing to share what you are stalking, then don't post about it. I think it is like a nasty schoolyard bully. Could we grow up a bit? If I am stalking a hard to find diaper, I usually do not post about it. I don't make fun of those who don't know about it either.
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#22 of 117 Old 03-22-2004, 12:58 PM
 
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I agree with this post. I really find the diaper care threads to be super boring as there is a resource section for that. I think the fast moving pace of the board as it is very exciting and I enjoy seeing what every one is getting, has or is in the mail. It is great and I do not find it like a commercial at all.

Quote:
Originally posted by allformyboys
Well the problem is, that diaper care/ basic use is a top that doesn't really change, so to keep posting the same things over and over get old, we do have a diapering resources section that has all these topics covered, that never really change.

The product talk and the new finds is what keeps the board fresh and changing and keeps people coming back (IMO) I think if all we talked about was how many times you rinse your diapers and how to hand wash wool we would be awful boring!

Not that I always feel 'in the know' about all the products and things people use/try, I don't use pocket diapers really, but I still enjoy looking and hearing about them. I am happy with our system but I do enjoy reading about it.

I don't feel that the board is cliquish though, to me a clique is when someone is excluded or shuned when they try and join in and aren't excepted. To me anyone that jumps in here with a post about whatever is usually greeted with warm open arms.

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#23 of 117 Old 03-22-2004, 01:06 PM
 
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I don't think that stockings should be posted at all. If someone is looking for something in particular, then they will check the website on their own. But when it gets announced, a huge number of mamas swarm it, and it crashes. This, in turn, takes time away from the WAHM who could be working on more instock items.

Like I said before, I would like to see a new forum under diapering that ladies can feel free to post about catches (after the store is sold out or close to it). Maybe that would help those who are on a diaper diet to not be so tempted.

Just a thought.
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#24 of 117 Old 03-22-2004, 01:07 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally posted by tnrsmom
ITA!! If you are not willing to share what you are stalking, then don't post about it. I think it is like a nasty schoolyard bully. Could we grow up a bit? If I am stalking a hard to find diaper, I usually do not post about it. I don't make fun of those who don't know about it either.
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#25 of 117 Old 03-22-2004, 01:08 PM
 
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Also, I think due to the fact that tone is hard to express online sometimes what feels like "making fun" is really just playing around. I don't take it personally if someone is all hush hush about where they are stalking, I understand it. As with the last fluffymail stocking, it was pandemonium. I think if you are interested in something all you have to do is join the mailing list and you will know when she stocks. I tend to not say anything when I am stalking but I do come here ASAP when I am done to alert others.

Or PM the person. I get PMs all the time asking me who I am stalking and I ALWAYS give links. I also ask and I always am told.

I think, as with the debate over "diaper art", why people buy or buy A LOT is subjective. For a lot of us diapering is a hobby, for others prefolds and proraps float our boats more than enough. To each her own. I think this board is exactly like any other hobby/specific interest board, only more interesting and definitely more hilarious. I know I love hearing about someone's awesome score almost as much as I love scoring myself!

Amy: Certified Professional Midwife and mom to Max (11) and Stella (6).
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#26 of 117 Old 03-22-2004, 01:19 PM
 
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I definitely see where the OP is coming from. I am relatively new here - have just been posting for a couple of months. I was not into hyena diapers before posting/reading here, but well...I have been sucked in. Don't get me wrong -- I've enjoyed it. However, I know I need to take a step back and not get so involved/obsessed with diapers.

Funny -- I was just thinking about this question: If we don't talk about hyena diapers or diaper trends, what *can* we talk about here and have it still be fresh? I agree that there are only so many coversations we can have about washing diapers, rash, etc. Ideas? I was thinking it would be good to figure out topics that weren't necessarily hyena related but somehow related to diapering -- but not the same ole' same ole'.

I know that many people don't feel there are cliques here, but I do see it a bit. I don't mind (mostly) and feel it is normal where you have a community of people who have a common interest and have built relationships (be it online relationships). I think if you are part of clique, you might not see it in the same light as someone who is new. I have definitely felt (at times) that my posts are not as "popular" -- I know it sounds juvenile and to an extent it is, but I'm just trying to explain how I feel. I feel like I am starting to get to know people here and those feelings have diminished, but I want to remember what it feels like so that other new people or people who don't necessarily ride the hyena wave can also feel like a part here.

I am not saying following the hyena thing is wrong. I do feel there are benefits -- nice products, supporting WAHMs, relaxation, and fun. For me, I am just looking for a way to take it down a notch but still feel a part here. The reason why I do want to stay a part of things here is because there are very few places I can go and talk about this kind of stuff. Who else would "get it" if I enjoy browsing thru pictures of someones stash on a Saturday night?
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#27 of 117 Old 03-22-2004, 01:21 PM
 
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All the diaper care and washing questions are at anyone's fingertips at any time. It's in the resource section. If someone has a specific question all they need to do is to post it on the forum and it will be addressed. It's not like those posts are ignored. Just speak up if you don't see a topic covered that you would like to hear about.
There are so many topics posted and all are titled, if I'm not interested then I just don't click on it.
I do not stalk and I also watch my diaper budget but I am grateful for the heads up on all the new WAHM diapers available. How else would we find these sites? We also get to hear feedback on these sites before we have to spend our money to try it out. We can read other people's opinion and ask specific questions we may have.
Again, if I'm not interested in the topic or don't want to be tempted then I just don't click on it. If I have a specific question then I speak up and ask.
I think this forum is perfect just the way it is. It addresses the interests of many. And it's an avenue to find out anything you need to know if you just speak up.
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#28 of 117 Old 03-22-2004, 01:39 PM
 
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I like the board and I like that we talk about good places to shop etc. I just hate when the same person keeps plugging the same business over and over and over and over...makes me think to myself: "I hope she's getting paid for advertising."
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#29 of 117 Old 03-22-2004, 01:40 PM
 
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I'm very guilty of that... can I ask why you don't like it?

Amy: Certified Professional Midwife and mom to Max (11) and Stella (6).
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#30 of 117 Old 03-22-2004, 01:55 PM
 
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IF you are referring to the post directly above yu, its because its spam
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