$15 a month? - Page 3 - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
Reply
 
Thread Tools
#61 of 81 Old 05-25-2004, 05:39 PM
 
Novajet's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Texas
Posts: 177
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Guinevere
It seems to me that if you care so much about the environment that perhaps your attitude towards others shouldn't be, "I don't need to be PC about this topic and I don't want to validate others choices to use disposables and pollute everything, so I'll be insulting and sterotypical if I choose, thank you very much."

I feel you SHOULD care what and how this is said, even if it is a cding board, b/c I guarantee you that you're not encouraging a single mom NOT to trash the planet through belittling her for DDing. Shouldn't you care about converting some of these moms if you want to improve the planet? As I've said before, I'm glad I didn't read this when I was still on the fence about whether or not to switch, b/c it would have turned me WAY off!

Moreover, it's pretty obvious that although this is a cding forum, many of us have used or still use disposables from time to time, so you are in "mixed" company whether you fully realize it or not. Again, I don't see how choosing to be encouraging and providing good information about cding RATHER than acting superior and self-righteous about your own choice is somehow not being yourself or is a validation of disposables or pollution. I don't see this as needing to be PC, but rather being respectful to all mothers.

Guin
Well said.

I doubt there are many on this board that don't do something that is detrimental to the planet, even in some small way. I take no issue to your opinion that I'm polluting your planet. I just dislike the overall tone that judges people as mothers, not as co-habitants on this planet.
Novajet is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
#62 of 81 Old 05-25-2004, 05:41 PM
 
pilesoflaundry's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: getting comfy again
Posts: 8,925
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Guinevere
It seems to me that if you care so much about the environment that perhaps your attitude towards others shouldn't be, "I don't need to be PC about this topic and I don't want to validate others choices to use disposables and pollute everything, so I'll be insulting and sterotypical if I choose, thank you very much."

I feel you SHOULD care what and how this is said, even if it is a cding board, b/c I guarantee you that you're not encouraging a single mom NOT to trash the planet through belittling her for DDing. Shouldn't you care about converting some of these moms if you want to improve the planet? As I've said before, I'm glad I didn't read this when I was still on the fence about whether or not to switch, b/c it would have turned me WAY off!

Moreover, it's pretty obvious that although this is a cding forum, many of us have used or still use disposables from time to time, so you are in "mixed" company whether you fully realize it or not. Again, I don't see how choosing to be encouraging and providing good information about cding RATHER than acting superior and self-righteous about your own choice is somehow not being yourself or is a validation of disposables or pollution. I don't see this as needing to be PC, but rather being respectful to all mothers.

Guin
well said Guin! It's not about being pc I could care less if everyone is pc everyone has an opinion. It's the attitude about it and if you are trying to convert people, it probably won't work as well. I agree with Guin on the it would have turned me off thing before I switched. It's one thing to say dd are bad for the environment , yeah I think even forrest gump could figure out that one. It's another to say 'all you sposies users are trashing my house, my life whatever' it raises someones defenses and makes them not want to talk to or associate with a group that is so against something they may have used or currently use. If people are coming here looking to learn and grow and change to cd it might be nice to tone down just a bit.

I know we all have some strong opinions on things, I do myself and many times (not so much here but other boards) I have wanted to express them but I tried to say what I felt had to be said without flaming the mom horribly for cio or spanking or whatever. I explained what the issue is and why it's better to do xyz and tried to change her point of view without saying she is the closest thing to the devil.

It's like a mama coming to the BF forums and asking questions about it. To say well 'don't feed your kid that vile crap in a can you must bf' will probably turn her off. If you say 'bf is healthier or better for baby to digest and etc' you might just convert her to a bf.
pilesoflaundry is offline  
#63 of 81 Old 05-25-2004, 06:03 PM
 
missmel's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Posts: 431
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
well I dont know how the heck to do it for that much a month although every now and then at our walmart if you walked in at just the right time they would have the MEGA packs for 10-12 bucks!!! and that was for pampers, and for some reason they never advertised it or said anything but if you were to go back a week or two later they were changed back to 18 something for the mega packs which is like what 80 somethig diapers i guess, ok totally ot lol there are worse addictions to have then cding lol
missmel is offline  
#64 of 81 Old 05-25-2004, 06:10 PM
 
Rebecca's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: NH
Posts: 2,635
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
Another thing I'd like to add that has struck me at times is this: All the attachment parrenting stuff is great and I strive for it hard. I realized one day that I was stressing myself out so much with all the washing diapers, slinging, breastfeeding, etc. that I was probably not being a very pleasant parent because I was getting little time for myself. I came to the conclusion that if I need to use some sposies every now and then for the sake of my own sanity, then that is what I need to do.

I feel this way too sometimes, like I'm being plagued by crunchy-guilt: that I could be and should be doing something 'better' even if 'better' is only true in my mind and no one else cares or notices.

: Wasn't it Maya Angelou who said 'I did what I knew how to do. When I learned better, I did better.' I feel this way about not only cloth diapering, but lots of other parenting techniques as well. And we all know that you get more flies with sugar than vinegar... causing ill will and hurt feelings will never help score a convert or even make a point. With that, I still think it's best to live simply so that others may simply live. Could I possibly post more cheesy cliches?
Rebecca is offline  
#65 of 81 Old 05-25-2004, 06:28 PM
 
Mothra's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2002
Posts: 1,939
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I just want to know what is so radical about being mean? Calling someone delusional and neglectful is just mean, it isn't radical. If activism is just about letting everyone else know how freakin' cool and hip YOU are for using cloth diapers, then what is the point? Why not just come out and say, "I rock because I use cloth diapers!" instead of calling other people names and questioning their very sanity and ability to parent their children because they don't?
Mothra is offline  
#66 of 81 Old 05-25-2004, 06:30 PM
 
tabitha's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: berkeley, ca
Posts: 2,379
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
my post didnt belittle anyone.

tabitha

Hi, I'm Tabitha. I'm a homeschooling mother of four: ds (11) dd (9) ds (7) ds (5) And I'm expecting a fifth in 2014! Find me at http://www.omelay.blogspot.com
tabitha is offline  
#67 of 81 Old 05-25-2004, 06:50 PM
 
Mothra's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2002
Posts: 1,939
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
What kind of car do you drive? Do you drive at all? Do you recycle? Do you get new grocery bags every time do you go to the grocery store? Do you grow your own food? Do you shower every day? Do you compost? Do you have an air conditioner in your home or in your car? Do you use electricity? (I have friends that live in houses in the woods made entirely of recycled materials and use no electricity. They even weave their own cloth and rope.) Do you eat meat? If so, do you raise and slaughter your own animals?

There are so many issues related to the environment, and I believe that diapers is a pretty significant one. But don't get up on a high horse unless you've got all of your bases covered. I've gotten grocery bags from a grocery store maybe a half dozen times in the past ten years. I take my neighbor's old bags, use cloth bags, or boxes. I don't know a single other person who does that. I also use an air conditioner in my house and car, so minus two points for me. Getting all high and mighty about one issue is awfully dangerous. It makes you look like a jerk and doesn't really do anything in the long run to show other people how they can make a difference. The point of activism, to me, is to share with others what I've found. Otherwise, so what if I use cloth diapers? If I'm the only one on my block, and all I do is use my cloth diapers and feel smug and better than everyone else using those nasty disposables, what good is that? If I'm kind and speak to others with respect and share my experience with them, maybe I convert a few people and my impact is multiplied.
Mothra is offline  
#68 of 81 Old 05-25-2004, 07:03 PM
 
Rebecca's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: NH
Posts: 2,635
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
[QUOTE=Mothra]What kind of car do you drive? Do you drive at all? Do you recycle? Do you get new grocery bags every time do you go to the grocery store? Do you grow your own food? Do you shower every day? Do you compost? Do you have an air conditioner in your home or in your car? Do you use electricity? (I have friends that live in houses in the woods made entirely of recycled materials and use no electricity. They even weave their own cloth and rope.) Do you eat meat? If so, do you raise and slaughter your own animals?

There are so many issues related to the environment, and I believe that diapers is a pretty significant one. But don't get up on a high horse unless you've got all of your bases covered. I've gotten grocery bags from a grocery store maybe a half dozen times in the past ten years. I take my neighbor's old bags, use cloth bags, or boxes. I don't know a single other person who does that. I also use an air conditioner in my house and car, so minus two points for me. Getting all high and mighty about one issue is awfully dangerous. It makes you look like a jerk and doesn't really do anything in the long run to show other people how they can make a difference. The point of activism, to me, is to share with others what I've found. Otherwise, so what if I use cloth diapers? If I'm the only one on my block, and all I do is use my cloth diapers and feel smug and better than everyone else using those nasty disposables, what good is that? If I'm kind and speak to others with respect and share my experience with them, maybe I convert a few people and my impact is multiplied.[/
QUOTE]

This is exactly the crunchy-guilt I feel with all my decisions. There's always more I /we could be doing. Tabitha however, is really very crunchy and environmentally conscious from other posts I've read by her.
Rebecca is offline  
#69 of 81 Old 05-25-2004, 07:21 PM
 
tabitha's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: berkeley, ca
Posts: 2,379
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
mothra, i think it is really sad you feel the need to ask others to compare their lifestyle with some sort of standard.

yes, i live so as to cause the smallest negative impact on the world as possible. yes, i wish others did, too. but i dont live the way that i do to feel superior, i live this way because i feel a responsiblilty to other humans and to my children.

i dont see how my post was offensive in any way.

also i dont see why , just because someone doesnt choose to do it all the way they shouldnt want to do as much as they can? according to you, is a person not entitled to pride in their choices until they have made *all* the "right" choices? or did i miss the point of your last post? i feel like i did.

tabitha

Hi, I'm Tabitha. I'm a homeschooling mother of four: ds (11) dd (9) ds (7) ds (5) And I'm expecting a fifth in 2014! Find me at http://www.omelay.blogspot.com
tabitha is offline  
#70 of 81 Old 05-25-2004, 07:32 PM
 
danzarooni's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: With my three wildfire kiddos!
Posts: 1,504
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I'm feeling less and less welcome with almost every reply. All because I sposie(D) my kids (IN THE PAST) at $15 per kid per month. Geez. I think someone got the wrong idea somewhere that i was proud of how much i was saving at that number? No. It was just fact. We shop at a grocery store where you bring your own bags or buy them (we bring our own cloth) you bag your own too. we grow a lot of our own food. yes, we qualify for WIC and gov't assistance but we don't take it. We try to make do on our own. It's our repsonsibility. Some idiot just ran into my car and totaled in and I live in a no fault state. So I have no car. There is NOTHING I can do about it. So do I go saying someone else has to buy me a car or buy me new car seats? No. I just try every day to do best by my kids, make do, make sure they eat and healthy. And just be the best mom I can. I'll never sposie again. Because I bought cloth by selling all my outgrown kids clothes and maternity clothes and upgraded by started my own business. Why do I have to be berated because I spent $15 a month ($30 with 2 kids) on sposies? Geeeez
danzarooni is offline  
#71 of 81 Old 05-25-2004, 07:35 PM
 
danzarooni's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: With my three wildfire kiddos!
Posts: 1,504
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
And honestly I had no idea there was anything but gerbers and plastic pants still until my daughter was born and people on another forum had some cute happy heinys they showed off. It was the KINDNESS and SUBTLENESS of other CDers that got me going. One mama sent me a like new HH and joey as well as a Puddlecatchers. Another mama, whom I still have no idea who it was, gave me a $60!!! gift cert to heinyking. That is how you get mamas started. SHOW them how easy and nice it is to CD. Not berate them for using "cheap" 'sposies to save money.
danzarooni is offline  
#72 of 81 Old 05-25-2004, 07:38 PM
 
lori810's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Colorado
Posts: 738
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I often feel "crunchy-guilt" about not doing enough - and I really don't. I do cloth diaper, and through cd'ing I have become more conscious of how my decisions affect the environment. I am much more diligent about reducing, recycling and re-using. I notice things more than I ever did. But there are still so many things I don't do, and so sometimes I feel like throwing up my hands because I think, why bother! This isn't making any difference at all compared to what i am not doing. But then I think that any little bit helps.

On the topic of sharing the knowledge with others, if I may pat myself on that back , I shared my excitement about CDs with my neighbor and she decided to CD! Well, after that, she shared her experiences with HER neighbor, and now there are 3 of us who CD. We had a playgroup recently in our neighborhood, and there were 4 of us who CD outnumbering those who didn't, and the topic came up and I think we planted the seed in other's minds.

But I don't push it on people - my 2 best friends - my sister and cousin - don't CD. I try to show them by showing them my experiences and not talking about it too much because I can tell it's a turn off. Neither are CD'ing yet but I know they are interested. If not for their DH's, they would be trying it, I know. maybe for their next kid, ya know?

Lori
lori810 is offline  
#73 of 81 Old 05-25-2004, 07:43 PM
 
Aherne's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Oklahoma!
Posts: 946
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by danzarooni
Why do I have to be berated because I spent $15 a month ($30 with 2 kids) on sposies? Geeeez
Danielle- take this thread off your "to read list" You'll stop feeling upset... people get their panties in a bunch and arent actually talking at YOU.

yup- disposables exist and people use them. They get thrown away. <insert four million reasons not to use them> but it is still the choice of a mother to do what she thinks is best. I'm not a true AP parent *wave of horror wallows through the board* but I am still a good mom... and if I used disposable diapers... I would still be a good mom.

I think this thread needs to be closed.
Aherne is offline  
#74 of 81 Old 05-25-2004, 07:46 PM
 
JennInSeattle's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 7,227
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I'm still watching.. I don't see any flaming.. feel free to show me I'm wrong though.
JennInSeattle is offline  
#75 of 81 Old 05-25-2004, 07:54 PM
 
chloesmom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Northern California
Posts: 1,387
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I can't believe this has gone on for FOUR pages! People are getting their feeling hurt all over the place and a lot of it is probably misunderstandings. Maybe everyone should let it rest?
chloesmom is offline  
#76 of 81 Old 05-25-2004, 07:59 PM
 
JennInSeattle's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 7,227
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I couldn't agree more! I think the point of whether you can DD on $15 a month has been proven.. you can.. end of thread! lol

I'm still not closing this at this point but maybe we can take a step back and just let some agree to dissagree.
JennInSeattle is offline  
#77 of 81 Old 05-25-2004, 08:09 PM
 
Mothra's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2002
Posts: 1,939
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Tabitha-- my point is that I'm not holding anyone up to any standard. I don't think you can say the same. "Crunchy" doesn't mean jack to me. I don't really care what other people do, which is why I get riled up when people say things like "*I* do so-and-so and feel like I'm justified in being as mean and nasty as I want." Of course no one is going to come out and say that, but the implication is there. Seriously. The OP wanted to know how people can use disposables on $15 a month. My problem is all the crap that sprouted up from that. I want people to use cloth diapers. I don't want everyone who reads these threads to be turned off by the nasty things people have said in here. I'm not worried at all about my decisions, so don't bother to feel "sad" for me. I'm not sad for me at all. I'm sad for the other mothers that come here and find that members of this board think that they are lying about how much they spend on disposable diapers and that everyone here thinks that they let their kids sit around in crap all day. Why would anyone want to be a part of a community that thinks like that?
Mothra is offline  
#78 of 81 Old 05-25-2004, 08:10 PM
 
Mothra's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2002
Posts: 1,939
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
And yeah, you totally missed the point of my post, tabitha. My point was that no one is above reproach when it comes to the environment, not in this society, anyway. Not even mothers whose babe's precious butts have never come into contact with a disposable diaper.
Mothra is offline  
#79 of 81 Old 05-25-2004, 09:16 PM
 
Rebecca's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: NH
Posts: 2,635
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
Danielle
Rebecca is offline  
#80 of 81 Old 05-25-2004, 10:26 PM
 
Izzybee's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Missing St. Catharines, Loving PA
Posts: 2,922
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I know this is a litlte late, but I just wanted to put my 2 cents in. My sister DD'd both her kids, and they both potty trained right around their 2nd birth day, actually, I think the boy was more like 18 months. She claims that it only cost her $20/month in diapers. She was here about 6 months ago, and I got a chance to observe her changing habits, and it seemed as though the girl was only changed when poopy
I think that this happens a lot with DD'd kids. It breaks my heart
Izzybee is offline  
#81 of 81 Old 05-25-2004, 11:15 PM - Thread Starter
 
scorpioqueen's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Arizona
Posts: 555
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Okay I started this thread and its not going the way I expected. It was never sosposed to be a why do DD users neglect their babies thread I honestly thought wow some moms know some great bargins (because in my opnion if they were the type to "neglect" changing baby they wouldn't hang out on a diapering board) I wanted to know their DD buying secret. I'm always looking for ways to save and sinse we do on ocassion use DD, I thought hey another thrifty tip I might be able to use.
I think we need to stop with the bashing I haven't seen any dirrected at a particular person but there is a lot implied and I'd like to see it stopped. Thanks and

Deanna
scorpioqueen is offline  
Reply

User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off