Sposies, Sposies EVERYWHERE at a LLL meeting!?!?!?!?!?!? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 166 Old 08-05-2004, 10:12 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Okay, I went to a LLL meeting a couple of towns over this morning. I was referred to this leader, because I am looking to possible become a leader myself.

Anywho, I get there w/ Dylan in a Luxe Baby WIO in shades of blue and a little T-shirt. I just sat in awe and looked at all the bebes w/ covered and sposied bums!!!!!

I mean these women were sitting around talking negatively about mamas that feed thier babies jarred food. They were talking about all of the CRAP in the jarred foods, including the organic ones. They continued to talk about thier organic diets and how good it was for the bebe.

All the while I am sitting there thinking - you have crystals in your dipes that are made of chemicals so they can swell up when they get wet and that TOUCHES your bebes skin!!!!!!! Not to mention that the bebes bum bum is all hot, muggy and sweaty. (I have ice on my tongue right now trying to reduce the swelling from me biting it so hard!!!! )

Here is another shocker - I sling carry Dylan everywhere no matter what. I fully expected to walk into the LLL meeting seeing all kinds of slings. I saw one Maya and the lady's 6 year old daughter was wearing it!!!!!!

So, back OT, I made a REALLY BIG DEAL of getting in the middle of the circle to change Dylan. I painstakingly took out my spray bottle w/ wipes soulution, my cloth wipe and my dipe and in no time flat had Dylan in a striped RB WIO!!!

I mean there was one lady that was so CRUNCHY that she bragged about not having a phone, TV, a computer or getting the paper. BUT she runs down to the store to shove sposies on her bebes bum!!

By the way, we were there for just over 2 hours and NOT ONE OTHER MAMA changed thier bebe's dipe! The crystals were justa swellin'!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

As a topper to the story, this afternoon I went to my regular BF support group (not LLL) and there were 3 mamas w/ slings and 2 mamas that asked me what those neat pants were that Dylan had on. :LOL I had changed him into a giraffe VK fitted.

MAMAS, I do love you guys and all, but I REALLY, REALLY, REALLY want a mama here in the physical/real life to share : ing w/ too!!!!!!! If I can't find 'em at a LLL meeting, where will I find 'em?!?!?!?!?

...
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#2 of 166 Old 08-05-2004, 10:15 PM
 
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oy.... that sucks!! Poor kiddos!

My LLL meeings were full of baby wearing mamas and about half of them were CD'ing mamas. It was a little too far of a drive when H was little so we didn't go often
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#3 of 166 Old 08-05-2004, 10:19 PM
 
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Our LLL is about half babywearing ladies... but the only other one in cloth is my irl friend Pretty sad I say if you can't even find them there!!!!

I feel for you!!!!

But I bet your little one was soooooo cute

Tammy
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#4 of 166 Old 08-05-2004, 10:20 PM
 
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At my LLL, everyone slings, nurses toddlers (well, those that have toddlers), some homebirth, most go to natural food stores...but Bran is the only CD'ed baby in the group...

~Brandon Michael (11/23/03), Jocelyn Lily Nữ (2/4/07, adopted 5/28/07 from Vietnam), Amelia Rylie (1/14/09), & Ryland Josef William (9/7/05-9/7/05 @ 41 wks). 
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#5 of 166 Old 08-05-2004, 10:52 PM
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You know it's funny, my LLL group was the only place i had ever seen cloth on babies IRL. They didn't really advertise or anything, but they were the ones i went to for info when i first started. I'm sure some of the API mamas did it, too. Quite a few, really. I guess i'm lucky, but i would have been very frustrated, if i was in your position. I wouldn't have bitten my tongue, either . I would have outed their hypocrisy immediately.l
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#6 of 166 Old 08-05-2004, 11:04 PM
 
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That is awful!
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#7 of 166 Old 08-05-2004, 11:20 PM
 
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I've only attended one LLL meeting, and I don't believe anyone CDed there either. I changed Gracie and was stared at like we were doing something weird. The leader was about to tell me where the trash can was and then said, "Oh." (You know, the tight "Oh" that means "How very odd.")

I'd have drooled over your WIO! Have you checked the tribal area? I've met one MDC mama IRL, and there are several in my area who CD. And I know some more from another board.
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#8 of 166 Old 08-05-2004, 11:30 PM
 
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... breastfeeding does not equal all-natural mama, or even mostly-natural mama...

IMO these two things do not go hand in hand. all of the bf'ing mamas i know IRL use sposies; the one i knew who used cloth diapers religiously ff'ed.
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#9 of 166 Old 08-05-2004, 11:55 PM
 
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Sorry to hear that no one in your group cd their child. In my bf group ( we don't have a leader right now) We are 2 that cd and then there is one who come once in a while.

It's true that bf doesn't not mean all-natural mamas and cd, etc..

Sand, Mom to three girls and a new SON!!!!  babyboy.gif Born on March 7th, 2011  I get to do these again:   bfinfant.gifslingboy.gifcd.gif
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#10 of 166 Old 08-06-2004, 12:05 AM
 
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... breastfeeding does not equal all-natural mama, or even mostly-natural mama...
True... but if they were sitting there dissing people who use baby food (even the organic) you would think they would be more cautious about what they put on their babies bum, lol. I think thats the part that doesnt add up
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#11 of 166 Old 08-06-2004, 12:26 AM
 
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WOW!! I have never been to a LLL meeting, but a friend of mine was a LLL member when she was younger. She is so proud of me for using cloth and remembers how grossed out her fellow LLL members were when disposables came out. So sad you saw the reverse
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#12 of 166 Old 08-06-2004, 12:54 AM
 
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I haven't gone to a LLL meeting yet but plan on it this month. I HOPE I see cloth.
I went to a meeting where I would have expected all babes to be in cloth and only 1 did (out of 5-6).

Mom of 3 sons and one daughter
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#13 of 166 Old 08-06-2004, 01:09 AM
 
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but if they were sitting there dissing people who use baby food (even the organic) you would think they would be more cautious about what they put on their babies bum
... not a lot of people know what's wrong w/ sposies... yk? really. there is a lot of ignorance out there. (like my dad, who insists that cloth is worse for the environment than disposables...)
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#14 of 166 Old 08-06-2004, 01:46 AM
 
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Yeah, I was just going to say......
They just dont know. I didnt know at first, there was anything wrong with sposies. and of course they dont know to change their baby's diaper within 2 hours, using a sposie. I dont change a cloth diaper every two hours.
I would think it would be a big help for you to just casually mention that disposables are ladden with chemicals that are not great for anyone. They really are just uninformed. Make friends with someone, and mention it to them, then find another person, and so on, but dont beat them up because of their not knowing.

I think the resurge in Breastfeeding, will eventually fuel the slow resurge of cloth diapering. We'll be the veterans of diapering in our generation, when most people are using cloth again, we can say we've been there and done that. lol
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#15 of 166 Old 08-06-2004, 02:05 AM
 
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As a cloth dipering mama, I have never experienced such snobbery amongst cloth diapering mothers. Why do we cloth diaper in the first place? There are lots of reasons that people choose to parent in the ways they do.I for one diaper my child in this way for the environmental/comfort reasons. I would prefer that people did not fill our landfills with lots of crap. I would also love for there to be world peace, but I don't spend my energy critisizing others who choose different lifestyles. What is a LLL meeting for anyways? Be thankful that you are so enlightend... just look at what the rest of us poor saps are up against! I know I will get burned for this post but when did this choice become such a definining point for you; and why the obsession? (ignore me! )

:
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#16 of 166 Old 08-06-2004, 02:07 AM
 
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LaffNowCryLater - Monica uses cloth too, so there are 2 moms at that group Our VAB LLL mornings is inactive right now . I have been to a few LLL mornings and no cloth in sight.


Yeah, I am constanly surprised that more people at LLL here does not use cloth. My first LLL meeting was in another state and a few moms there used cloth. Luke's Drawers in fact, it was cool.
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#17 of 166 Old 08-06-2004, 03:33 AM
 
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I am a newcomer to cloth, but I am very AP. We do family bed, gentle discipline, and I am tandem nursing my girls. But Gracie still wears disposables (her choice) and we just started using cloth for Rosie. Rosie is wearing disposables at night, for swimming, and for some outings because I haven't figured those angles out yet.

I know that lots of touch and carrying babies is very important, and so is breastfeeding. I apologize in advance for this opinion, but I don't think that using cloth diapers is that important in terms of attachment parenting. It has to do with natural family living, which is a great ideal for people who want to pursue it. But to me, natural family living is different from AP, even though a lot of the same families practice both AP and NFL.

I think those other people at the LLL meetings will be inspired by your example. I know I have been inspired to try cloth again (after my first miserable failure with Gracie) because so many people around me use cloth. These women didn't ever preach, but they were enthusiastic and supportive and answered my questions. I think that your presence will have the same effect on them over time.
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#18 of 166 Old 08-06-2004, 04:00 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Village Mama
As a cloth dipering mama, I have never experienced such snobbery amongst cloth diapering mothers. Why do we cloth diaper in the first place? There are lots of reasons that people choose to parent in the ways they do.I for one diaper my child in this way for the environmental/comfort reasons. I would prefer that people did not fill our landfills with lots of crap. I would also love for there to be world peace, but I don't spend my energy critisizing others who choose different lifestyles. What is a LLL meeting for anyways? Be thankful that you are so enlightend... just look at what the rest of us poor saps are up against! I know I will get burned for this post but when did this choice become such a definining point for you; and why the obsession? (ignore me! )
You took the words right out of my mouth . Thanks . I just don't get it . I see such snobbish and childish remarks by people here and in the homeschool community . EVERYONE raises their kids different . Everyone doesn't raise kids the way you or I do . People are so quick to want to control or judge others because someone else's standards don't match up the same . Get a grip . If everyone would worry about their own house the world would be a better place .
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#19 of 166 Old 08-06-2004, 05:24 AM
 
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Originally Posted by Darrel
You took the words right out of my mouth . Thanks . I just don't get it . I see such snobbish and childish remarks by people here and in the homeschool community .
I'm sorry you feel that way.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Darrel
EVERYONE raises their kids different . Everyone doesn't raise kids the way you or I do . People are so quick to want to control or judge others because someone else's standards don't match up the same . Get a grip . If everyone would worry about their own house the world would be a better place .
I didn't see any "control" in the OP. More like frustration, seeing that all or most the people in the group were described to be very NP, I too would find it odd that they wouldn't choose to cloth diaper their babies. I see nothing wrong with the OP'r venting or sharing her feelings on the issue, this is a CD board afterall
And yes, I still feel bad those poor kiddos were in sposies for 2+ hours, cause I know it is not a good thing. Been there, done that. Live and learn.
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#20 of 166 Old 08-06-2004, 08:39 AM
 
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I saw my first cloth dipes ever at a LLL meeting...and that was back when I was using sposies! I was actually a bit shocked myself!
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#21 of 166 Old 08-06-2004, 08:46 AM
 
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I agree with klothos and Double A. They just might not know what's in a sposie.

A few women in my BF support group (not LLL) CD. I've made some positive comments on their cute covers (not sure what kind they were). We had a discussion about diapering and it really got me interested in CDing. I've only been CDing for 6 months. I'll never go back to sposies, that's for sure!

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#22 of 166 Old 08-06-2004, 09:41 AM
 
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You know, I think all our leaders CD but I don't think I've ever seen one of the visiting moms CD. At least it's nice that the leaders do! And there are always lots of slings.

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#23 of 166 Old 08-06-2004, 09:50 AM
 
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Well I've always been very pro bf and attended LLL meetings with my dd in a sposie. It never occurred to me to cd until I switched and I can't get over how easy it was and is!
I had never seen a "modern" cloth diaper or cover. I know now that there was at least one cd there (cause she sells them!) but she didn't advertise it so of course I didn't notice at the time.
There were usually plenty of slings tho - but still some little ones in carriers the whole meeting. My kiddo wouldn't have stood for that so I guess everyone is different.

I don't think I usually took my sling in as it was a short walk and I'd be sitting rather than slinging. I never got the knack of slinging and bf

You did right to change publicly - tho perhaps next time you could point out cd as the "crunchy" way to diaper even if nobody asks!
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#24 of 166 Old 08-06-2004, 11:42 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Village Mama
As a cloth dipering mama, I have never experienced such snobbery amongst cloth diapering mothers. Why do we cloth diaper in the first place? There are lots of reasons that people choose to parent in the ways they do.I for one diaper my child in this way for the environmental/comfort reasons. I would prefer that people did not fill our landfills with lots of crap. I would also love for there to be world peace, but I don't spend my energy critisizing others who choose different lifestyles. What is a LLL meeting for anyways? Be thankful that you are so enlightend... just look at what the rest of us poor saps are up against! I know I will get burned for this post but when did this choice become such a definining point for you; and why the obsession? (ignore me! )

First understand, I went there not just for BF info but to compare wool and fitteds w/ all the crunchy mamas! Can you imagine my dissapointment!!!!!


I blieve I did not make myself clear in my OP so I will here -

I AM NOT obsessed w/ personal choice but AM obssessed w/ UNEDUCATED SNOBBERY.

No one told me or suggest to me that we CD. In my continuing quest to make sure that I am making the RIGHT choices for my son, I came across many topics on CDing. I reasearched and found that this was the right choice for us and the environment. So, here we are in the diapering forum (and frequently the TP or some WHAM site . It was and is my continuing quest that has helped me to better Dylan's life/lifestyle.

Here is the difference between myself and those moms - I DON'T boast my feigned superiority in front of others to make them feel small or to make myself feel good.

Bottom line this was not what I thought a LLL meeting should be to me it was a gathering of the local CDless clique.

Total and complete honesty here - I don't boast my superiority but I do at times feel both superior and different because of the CHOICES I have made for Dylan. But, I am comfortable with these feelings. (Hey I AM being honest. ) I am ver concious of not making others feel inferior because of my or thier choices.

It is not my place to judge thier uninformed/informed choices, but I don't have to subject my son or myself to thier actions.

Another quick visual for ya - Have you ever been to a sporting event where the fans in the stands have done the wave (standing up and throwing thier hands in the air in succession)? Well imagine a wave of noses when we began changing our cloth diaper or WIO. They all around the room began to go up in the air, then would ever so briefly come down out of couriosity, only to shoo right back up again before any of thier peers or myself could notice. It was quite entertianing, :LOL really!

These ladies were just RUDE : . They made plans for all of them to go to lunch pointedly excluding Dylan and myself. Seemingly because we were different; because we oenly and proudly : . The leader did ask us to join them but we declined. I could tell she was bothered by this because I spoke with her late last night and she said she felt bad that we didn't join them for lunch. I told her not to think twice about! It was our "date" lunch day anyway.

Anywho, to prove to you that I am not anti "sposie-mommies" - there was another visiting mom at the LLL group that needed help and I invited her to my afternoon group in the next town and she came and was quite thankful. She had two children in sposies.

Again, I AM NOT choice obsessive! What I AM is uneducated snobbery obsessive - this effects others . A mama less sure of herself or her choice, be it CDing, BFing, whatever might have second guessed herself when these ladies so quickly and rudely shunned her different choice.

CDing like many other avenues we choose is decided through educating ourselves continuoiusly and not being closed minded when something new rears it's head.

I have now stepped down off the box, you may contiue with your post browsing and please overlook me!!!!


...
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#25 of 166 Old 08-06-2004, 12:12 PM
 
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This is going somewhere interesting and not just about diapers.

I am starting to feel like it is more difficult being friends with "ap" or "natural" or "crunchy" moms, or whatever they are wanting to call themselves, that I supposedly have more affinity with. It seems like when they get together, everyone is checking everyone else out with the mental checklist---slings, check! BF'ing, check! CD's, check! homemade no-sugar-added baby food--check! etc., etc., It is getting ridiculous!

Consequently, everybody is busy judging others because they are feeling judged, or they're feeling judged because they know they internally judge others---which is it?

For this OP'er, I think you felt a little shut out of this clique (I was saddened when I realized cliques exist outside school!) and were feeling like you were being given the once over, and hearing them b***ch about baby food in jars, yes you're right, it is idiotic, but not just because they were being hypocritical with their plastic diapers. It's just idiotic to pick apart moms' decisions, period, and base one's allegances on that.

But returning the favor by dissing them because they had no slings (it's HOT where I am personally, I wouldn't want a sling hanging round my neck right now) and no CD's is not going to help situations. Though it might make you feel better for a while (I can dig that, done it too).

To clarify, I'm not down on you WhimsyTime, I'm just commenting on the rather sad state of "support" among mothers these days.

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#26 of 166 Old 08-06-2004, 12:51 PM
 
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Great to inspire some honesty here!Now that I have slept on my irritation( nothing personal.... It has been building for a long time) I will tell you a bit about my cloth diapering experience. We are a fairly low income family, and couldnt afford to buy new fancy diapers and covers. I scavenged as many as I could from the local thrift stores(including the dreaded plastic pants!) I didnt have a washing machine in the house that we were renting at the time, therefore I had to wash all of the poopy diapers by hand in the sink and hang them around the house to dry. At the time I didnt even know anyone else who CD.I had one friend who went diaper free, whom vocally trashed all of the other moms around for thier choices. Let me tell you that after 30 little pees a day and almost as many outfits, You wouldnt have blamed me for going to disposibles. The only thing that kept me trying was sheer determination.Just to put it in perspective... there are many situations like this, and others that drive peoples choices. Now when I frequent the thrift stors, I pick up any slings or cloth diapers and offer them to new moms in the niebourhood that I know(with the offer of a lesson over tea!) Just remember that not everyone has the resources monetary or support wise to make the choices that they themselves may want to make.

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#27 of 166 Old 08-06-2004, 01:15 PM
 
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ahhh, don't be too hard on them. Yes, they were being a bit hypocritical with their talk vrs. their actions, but oh well.

I'm new to this CDing thing, and I love it, but honestly, the thought just didn't occur to me to use CD, even though we had a natural birth, and were already practicing some of the AP protocols. I know, it doesn't make sense NOW, since it really is all a package deal, but some people just choose to do what they can.

We all pick our ways of helping the world, and some of us just don't do everything.

OH, and yes, a lot babies ARE sensitive to sposies, but I must say that the chemicals can't be all that bad because my dogs have eaten them with no ill effects... I know... gross. One more reason I've gone to CD.
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#28 of 166 Old 08-06-2004, 01:15 PM
 
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I just wanted to quickly chime in that I understood the OP the way it was intended: that it's quite a lot of hypocricy to put a chemically laden diaper against your child's genitals and then trash-talk jarred baby foods because of the chemicals in them. Of course they may not know that there are chemicals in the disposable diapers...but.... I think it would be hard 'not to know' especially when you find the gel beads ON your baby's bottom. And a group so critical of what's inside those little jarred babyfoods should be wondering what's inside those strange feeling chemical underwear they put on their child.

I agree though, that it's good not to use energy trashing other mama's choices and instead simply offer information (or even supplies! that is such a coool idea Village Mama) to mamas who you see missing out on a better way.
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#29 of 166 Old 08-06-2004, 01:19 PM
 
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Wow! I thought the OP was simply sharing frustration for not finding CD mamas in a place you might expect to. She didnt sound like she was judging, just venting.

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ITA w/ your posts!

I have been to tons of AP events/playgroups where mamas are crunchier than me and less crunchy than me - I have NEVER felt jugded, it was always an open exhange of info, ideas, books, etc...
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#30 of 166 Old 08-06-2004, 02:28 PM
 
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i get the vent, when i was all into the hyena thing i was disappointed when i had no one to share my treasures with, but seriously, expecting all women in LLL to share the same hobby is unrealistic. (and supposing them all to be uneducated simpletons in need of enlightenment is a tad presumptious.)

i have had the whole gamut, from wool to fbs to fmbg to liz's to keester kover aios to the finest of chinese pfs with an assortment of wahm covers, and frankly, after two babies, they leak. (speaking of chemicals, the things i have sprayed on them in a futile attempt to rewaterproof them make the corn-derived polysorbate crystals look like granola nuggets.) with my last baby months away from being potty-trained, i don't have the $ or inclination to buy a whole 'nother stash.

so, when we go out for an extended period, rather than change outfits repeatedly while running around after two wild toddlers, i put on one of the maybe three disposable diapers i will use that week. if it's the LLL meeting, you would suppose me to be one of the unwashed herd of unthinking sposie users. but by the time you have a couple toddlers, impressing the other mommies with your fashionable cds has become somewhat less of a priority.

i am sorry you felt snubbed, but i would bet it wasn't 'cause you cd. that's getting paranoid (i'm sure it has more to do with being new to the crowd.)

ps older babies can quite easily go two hours without peeing. hard to believe, but it's true. :b and of course, not all paper dipes are gel-filled; i'm sure some of the crunchier moms pay a premium for 'biodegradable' no-gel etc sposies (yes, i know, they are still vile and environmentally evil; but that may jibe more with the jarred baby food snobbism.)

pps the only ones that have held up to all the washings w/out leakage are the uncoveted flannel lousy-absorbing hyena-maligned kooshies aios! (and yes, i have lanolin; i just don't put wool on babies in 98' humidity.)

just another pov, i really have been there & it is fun to show the cute ones off!
suse
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