Thoughts on stalking - Page 2 - Mothering Forums

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#31 of 60 Old 09-01-2004, 01:17 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Holli
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa... I can't take it anymore. It's not a big trick! I figured it out in 30 seconds. Lindsay may hate me but just use the Tab key, gals! That's the big giant secret! See, not so special, is it?!

I hate keeping things from other people so there it is!

Holli
I've been using the tab key the whole time with absolutely no sucess with the HC. I think my problem just stems from stressing out in the final few seconds!
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#32 of 60 Old 09-01-2004, 01:21 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Holli
I would have figured it out eventually, and I think other people already used it. I was about to go back and start experimenting with it again. You just gave me a push to do it sooner. I still think it's just one of many factors involved!

Holli
Absolutely. I figured some already knew.
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#33 of 60 Old 09-01-2004, 01:27 PM
 
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Originally Posted by mehndi mama
I guess I'm just feeling frustrated - I'm finally seeing actual pictures of lots of different types of newborn diapers on actual newborn babies, and that's been giving me definite ideas of what I am and am not looking for......and then I go to the site to see if there's any there, and there never ever is.
You may have just wanted to express your frustration on this thread, but if you want some assistance in actually finding diapers that may actually work for your newborn, why not post what I've seen many other people do?

Something titled "Help finding newborn diapers" and say something like "I have some definate ideas of what I'm looking for in a newborn diaper (explain what they are), similar to X Y Z diapers, but that are instock or a short waiting list." I think you'd be surprised how many reccs you might get. You also might post an ISO on the trading post-- sometimes mamas don't have time to list things for sale, but they might answer an ISO.

I think you can harness the hyena energy to actually work for you rather than trying to get people to stop hyena-ing.



Karla
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#34 of 60 Old 09-01-2004, 01:27 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Holli
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa... I can't take it anymore. It's not a big trick! I figured it out in 30 seconds. Lindsay may hate me but just use the Tab key, gals! That's the big giant secret! See, not so special, is it?!

I hate keeping things from other people so there it is!

Holli
: :

I figured...but I wasn't sure because I am slower using the tab key! :LOL You could whip right by the box in he excitement and then you are screwed. :LOL I tried that but it didn't work so well for me.
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#35 of 60 Old 09-01-2004, 01:30 PM
 
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Hmmmm, my thoughts. Personally I find stalking very frustrating. I have stalked twice. Once for a Kiwi Pie through hyena cart. And that I didn't mind since I got there 3 minutes before the stocking, tried, and then it was done. The other time was for a "regular" stocking, and I found it so darn frustrating since no one knew exactly when the WAHM would stalk. I spent a couple hours refreshing (among other things, like taking care of my kids). I came away empty handed. It was dissappointing, frustrating, and just not for me. It's okay though, I'm perfectly happy with my non-stalked for stash. I have some good stuff too -- elbees, a fuz garden set, the most darling appliqued bbh wio, a kss, etc.

I love firefly diapers which you can just go to the site and buy. Sugarpeas side snappers are among my very favorites too and they are available several places. I so hear the frustration about stalking. I think the key (at least for me) is that if stalking isn't "fun" then just don't do it. Seek out the diapers that are just as nice, but also available.

Oh and fwiw, Holli, I think it's great you are building your stash for your daughter!! I am so with you. Whenever life seems to be out of control I think I'll revamp the diaper stah, the kids' wardrobe, or something else that I actually have control over. Sometimes focusing on the little things we can do something about makes the bigger things we have no control over seem just a little less difficult.

Just my .02.

Mama to three sweet girls (a dramatic, chatty 10yo, a bouncy, dynamo of a 7yo, and a delightful, whimsical 3.5yo)
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#36 of 60 Old 09-01-2004, 01:34 PM - Thread Starter
 
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You may have just wanted to express your frustration on this thread, but if you want some assistance in actually finding diapers that may actually work for your newborn, why not post what I've seen many other people do?
Yeah, maybe I should have. But that was just what *spurred* the post - there's obviously other issues involved, and I'm not the only one having problems.

Never mind. I'll go back to being the invisible chicken
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#37 of 60 Old 09-01-2004, 01:42 PM
 
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I don't want to get in the middle of this discussion but I would like to add that I really dislike the "secretiveness" that goes on here sometimes. We're all mamas. We're all practically in the same boat (i.e. we all want dipes for our kids) and we should all be helping each other. I remember a few months back when someone posted a thread about a stocking and the stocking was kept a secret through the entire thread. I was not so nicely told to join the Yahoo group if I wanted to know the secret. Anyway, that's the kind of pettiness I'm talking about and I don't think there's any room for it in a community like this. Why can't we all just spill our "secrets" in the name of helping each other out???

Just my .02

, , , mama to Ross , Reagan (8/29/05), Joshua (from Haiti...here NOW due to the earthquake!), and Elijah , born safely 9-8-09.
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#38 of 60 Old 09-01-2004, 01:43 PM
 
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Originally Posted by allformyboys
I totally agree! Changing an order (to a different momma) is more work for the WAHM, it happens, it isn't a big deal if it is one or two times but if it is the same people over and over it would really get annoying yk? I mean people have to change all their records and update everything. The "oops I got caught in the hype and didn't really want that" excuse really is quite rude and even with hyena things if they have to be put back up after the official stocking sometimes they sit.

The whole stalking for others thing doesn't bother me, not does the stalking just to stalk and then offering it to whoever wants it, but your right, it does make more work for the WAHM, and well I just don't 'get' it yk? LOL (there are a lot of things I don't 'get' doesn't mean they bother me )

Also buying something you don't have the money for, or can't pay for for a while is something that does bother me. I know there are a few hyena's that will buy whatever they can buy and then go to the TP after they score to raise the money to pay for it, which can take a week or more at times. Just delaying to pay until they have the money, which is fine for the person buying the diaper but the WAHM might NEED that money when she stocks not 2 weeks later yk? Like people stock to buy school supplies, or pay for a dinner out for an anniversary or something, it is often done by WAHM's and to have people just not pay for weeks is frustrating. **This isn't to say if you clear it with the WAHM before you buy, or if she okay's it after the fact there is anything wrong with that, but you SHOULD clear it with her, I have had a number of customers do this and I have NO problem with it at all, but I have had customers just not respond to the payment e-mail, or just ignore me all together until they can come up with the money, that isn't cool.
Amen Sistah!!


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#39 of 60 Old 09-01-2004, 02:03 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Butterflymom
Well, I personally love being a hyena (not ashamed at all! ) and I don't think it makes CDing hard for anyone. There are such great diapers available for everyone, and all the excitement over certain brands just helps the WAHM who is currently in the spotlight, and creates more fun and enthusiasm for cloth diapering in general. Like Karla says, it drives the market and helps designs improve, things not to stagnate, blah blah blah (she was way more eloquent than me, as usual).
I agree -- it is fun for me and I guess my "hobby". But the truth is that if you couldnt ever get hyena diapers you would still be able to CD very successfully. I CDed Maxi (and enjoyed it) from to birth to close to 7 or 8 months before I ever tried a WAHM diaper.

There are SOOOO many WAHMS and SOOOO many diapers and even a LOT of commercial companies making diapers that the fact that "hyena-ing" exists doesnt stop people from being able to CD or make it harder. I also totally argee with Karla that it does drive the market and it does drive the constant improving of diapers and innovation of new and better things. Laura of El Bee even says on her home page that she created El Bee diapers because she couldnt find what she was looking for in the world of CDing. So yay for her! She came up with a design that works so well and is so attractive people cant get enough of them. I dont love them because they are impossible to get (the whole "hunt factor) but because I LOVE them for what they are.

Anyhoo -- I think CDing can be practical and still be fun and if stalking isnt fun for people there are tons of other ways to get diapers.
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#40 of 60 Old 09-01-2004, 02:08 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Justthebasics
And please don't take this the wrong way but it bewilders me the time and energy that some will put into stalking a certain diaper or cover, which for me is time I'd rather spend with my babies, or getting something done around the house! I cannot fathom sitting in front of my computer for hours waiting to purchase a diaper, there are things so much more important for me to be doiing with my time and my children's time.
This is something else I wanted to say and forgot -- I think the reason I stalk like I do (and spend so much time on this board for that matter) is that I am at work all day - sure my boss would love to know this is what I am doing !

When I wasnt working (from before Maxi was born til about 13 months) I only got online at night when he was asleep. I bought pretty much everything from ebay at that time.

Anyway my point is that I think I am only a hyena and a stalker because I am at work and have a wicked fast computer connection! So its not that frusterating for me and I have the time. I can see how unbeliveably frusterating it would be if I were at home with dial up -- I would probably never even bother to stalk.

ETA -- this is not to say that SAHMs who are online during the day and do have time to stalk are neglecting their babies. I just never could do it when home with Maxi because most of that time I was alone with him (as DH was gone during the baseball season) which meant that any time he was not awake was the only time I had to do stuff for myself -- like shower and eat . When he was away there was no way he would let me be online -- he is would either destroy our house or himself if he didnt have my undivided attention. But that is just MY situation - I am sure there are lots of calmer babies in the world that will actually play by themselves for a while!
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#41 of 60 Old 09-01-2004, 02:26 PM
 
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I am a SAHM and I can assure you I am not neglecting my son during stalkings either. Braedon sleeps on me, and he'llonly fall asleep at this chair as its his nursing chair. So therefore a few hrs a day I am stuck at this chair whether I like it or not and sometimes I get damn bored, stalking is a total rush for me, I love it. If you dont, great. But I do...and Im not neglecting my son when I do it!
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#42 of 60 Old 09-01-2004, 02:47 PM
 
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And those of us without the super-hyena constitution are left in the dust.
Well, I happen to think if you find yourself at the hyenacart, you have the hyena constitition in ya!

Quote:
I think you can harness the hyena energy to actually work for you rather than trying to get people to stop hyena-ing.
ITA! So many threads lately are about trying to un-do the whole hyena/diaper consumerism and it is obviously not working so let's all try a new approach!

No more "I have better things to do than stalk" type topics. What is the point, really?
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#43 of 60 Old 09-01-2004, 02:48 PM
 
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I haven't read the whole thread, but I am dying to know what the heck SCC is? I feel silly.

Anyhow, I am ITA that there is faboo, top quality stuff just sitting around. I just purchased a Fuz Easy in stock, and it had plenty of company. Yeah, its thirty bucks, but I use mostly prefolds, so I can justify it.
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#44 of 60 Old 09-01-2004, 02:56 PM
 
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ITA! So many threads lately are about trying to un-do the whole hyena/diaper consumerism and it is obviously not working so let's all try a new approach!
Besides, without consumers where would wahms be. Not saying that having 899 people on your store while you are trying to stock is fun...but this happens to lots of things, not just diapers. I personally have never had much luck stalking or with hyena cart.

yet


Last time I stalked MM and missed out so I went in search of an instock soaker elsewhere and ended up finding a custom spot and got to try a newer wahm. She rocked my world with the soaker I got. It all balances out in the end.

mum to a crew...
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#45 of 60 Old 09-01-2004, 03:06 PM
 
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Originally Posted by MamaTT
I haven't read the whole thread, but I am dying to know what the heck SCC is? I feel silly.

Simons Custom Cloth
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#46 of 60 Old 09-01-2004, 06:35 PM
 
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Originally Posted by jmreinke

However, I would say this: PLEASE if you "buy" something through Hyena Cart (or anywhere else), it is your responsibility to complete the transaction and pay for it, just like if you win an auction or hit "buy it now" on eBay. There's no place for WAHMs to leave feedback for "Non-Paying Hyenas", and Non Paying Hyena-ing is happening quite a bit. That really does hurt the WAHMs business/time/income.

Even if you do have buyer's remorse, you still need to pay for your item. Then, you can put it on the TP or eBay or trade. But don't make more work for the WAHM in having to figure out who owes her money for the purchase.
I have to TOTALLY agree with this. I've been a bit of a hyena in my buying time. But I have NEVER cancelled an order (yes there can be extenuating circumstances but usually it's not!) or a buy that I've clicked on. That is beyond tacky. If you can't pay for it, you shouldn't be buying it. You KNOW if you have the money. It's time for people to take a little responsiblity for their actions.

I know several WAHM personally. They are very good friends. A too often when one will open for custom order, someone will place an order and then cancel it a couple of days later. WTH?? Why bother the WAHM if you have no intention of completing the order? Especially when its by another WAHM!

Unfortunately for me, my two very favorite diapers are now Hyena diapers. They weren't when I started using them. And am I mad that its hard to get the ones I like now? NO! I'm so happy for the WAHMs that they are in such high demand and that they are able to help support their families. Yes, I would love to be able to just go and buy from an instock from them at a moments notice... but it isn't going to happen. Other people love their stuff just as much as me.

Yes, there are lots of great diapers out there. I've tried a lot of them too. But there are also only a few that make the specific style of diaper that I like and that works best for my DS. How many side-aplix diapers do YOU know about??? I know three or four.

Yes, I've been guilty of buying for a not yet conceived baby. Honestly, who business is that but mine? How can it REALLY effect anyone else? Why should anyone care? Of course because I was building a stash for an unconceived baby... I got pregnant. :LOL :LOL

Holli- I see your buying as NO DIFFERENT than a pregnant mother buying for her child.

I find some of the threads annoying but hey I just skip over them after a while.
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#47 of 60 Old 09-01-2004, 07:42 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Max's Mami
I agree -- it is fun for me and I guess my "hobby". But the truth is that if you couldnt ever get hyena diapers you would still be able to CD very successfully. I CDed Maxi (and enjoyed it) from to birth to close to 7 or 8 months before I ever tried a WAHM diaper.

There are SOOOO many WAHMS and SOOOO many diapers and even a LOT of commercial companies making diapers that the fact that "hyena-ing" exists doesnt stop people from being able to CD or make it harder. I also totally argee with Karla that it does drive the market and it does drive the constant improving of diapers and innovation of new and better things. Laura of El Bee even says on her home page that she created El Bee diapers because she couldnt find what she was looking for in the world of CDing. So yay for her! She came up with a design that works so well and is so attractive people cant get enough of them. I dont love them because they are impossible to get (the whole "hunt factor) but because I LOVE them for what they are.

Anyhoo -- I think CDing can be practical and still be fun and if stalking isnt fun for people there are tons of other ways to get diapers.

Well put Morgan! I agree, despite the hyena dipes there are tons out there that people can buy, and I am not embarassed to admit I am a diaper snob! :LOL AKA "Hyena" it IS a hobby for me, I have always been compelled to buy adorable fluff, cloth diapering has evolved in such a huge way! I remember what was out there when I CD'ed my 11 yo dd!

It is fun to "stalk" and as Kathleen said it is a total rush, and maybe some of us are inherantly more competitive than others? It can be a *bit* agressive at times...but most of all its fun, and I do think the mamas here really help each other out ALOT! Its a great community, WAY better than some of the smaller ones I used to frequent.

Its the old supply and demand thing, I have had lots of mamas offer me things or offer to help me, really sometimes all you need to do is ask! maybe it seems more cutthroat than it is?

As for the Hyena cart thing, I was doing those *tricks* all along and they do not work for me either and I generally do great at regular stockings, last fall my NB had lots of RB, and the recent Luxe stocking was good to me, I guess I figure if I am going to sit and refresh and devote a bit of time to getting it then I deserve it! :LOL

But seriously I have LOTS of sugarpeas and Honeyboys that are not considered "hyena" and they work really well! anything else above those is pure fun!

I know I am not the only person who feels like this! I literally stalk my mailman..the guy thinks I am nuts!
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#48 of 60 Old 09-01-2004, 07:55 PM
 
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Originally Posted by kindmomma
I think the thing that bothers me the most is the "Hey I got the size___, who wants it" posts. They are on every thread that is on high stalking alert, and usually SECONDS after the stalking has taken place. Why buy something you don't need/want.
Another issue that I think is taken WAY too lightly is the "hey can you stalk for me" where someone buys for someone else then contacts the WAHM with the details. This is very confusing when you are dealing with the "paper trail" Your order status says one name, then the paypal comes in from a different location. Keep in mind this is one order out of many.
During book keeping time, this can be a headache..
Ok, who did I actually send this to.....
I myself have been caught up in the frenzy so many times. I know the rush. I know the excitement. I also know hyena cart runs fast and there is a trick that some are keeping to themselves. Since I no longer stalk, I just watch (thats fun too). I love to see what these talented WAHMs have up for grabs (if I even get to see it :LOL)
I am not trying to be rude, mean, or hurt anyones feelings. Just giving my opinions
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#49 of 60 Old 09-01-2004, 08:01 PM
 
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#50 of 60 Old 09-01-2004, 09:36 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Marsupialmuma
But seriously I have LOTS of sugarpeas and Honeyboys that are not considered "hyena" and they work really well! anything else above those is pure fun!
I totally have to smile at this statement. Once upon a time, in a not so long ago time, these two dipes were HUGE Hyena items. HBs used to go for $100+!

Now that they are readily available, people don't talk as much about them. I don't see threads any more about how awesome their HB diaper is.

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#51 of 60 Old 09-01-2004, 09:51 PM
 
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I may be revealing my business and hyena cart ignorance here, but I am confused. I certainly do not want to cause headaches for anyone. So when does the buying confusion for wahms occur? If someone makes a purchase for another using the correct paypal address does that still make the transaction more dificult for the wahm?

I am guilty of participating in the "stalk for me" threads a few times. I have a couple of thoughts on this. First, it is more difficult for some people to be available for a stocking. I was teaching a class during the last MM stocking and asked for help. One of the things I like best about MDC is that everytime someone asks for help there is someone ready to help. The help stalking threads seem to me to counter some of the "all's fair" sentiment that has caused hard feelings in the past. Second, some people seem to truly enjoy the thrill of a hyena stocking. I don't have a problem with that. If they can have some fun, and help out a mama who needs help I don't see the harm (that is, of course, unless it really is making it difficult for the wahm, hence my first question -and if it is still confusing and troublesome I apologize).

Also, it is not necessarily wrong to raise money after a purchase. If you are buying a custom slot you may not even have an opportunity to pay for weeks.

Just my thoughts...
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#52 of 60 Old 09-01-2004, 10:02 PM
 
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So, I'm a hyena wanna be...I stalk ebay and TP and FSOT boards instead of the actual store. Mostly because of $$$ and secondly since I'm new, I don't know what I should be stalking or even how to go about it! I do get a kick out of reading the stocking/stalking threads though, they are a hoot and give me a heads up of what I might want to try if I ever see one available on the TP or ebay.

I was just thinking of something today though about WAHM's and this hyena frenzy (however frustrating it might be). There are probably some ladies on this board that may not have been as turned on about Cd'ing if it were still only prefolds and plastic pants available, but would have spent $$$ on sposies and then tons of $$$ for expensive clothes w/ national chains for the cuteness factor. Now, they are spending $$$ w/ WAHM's supporting someones family that could immediatley benefit and probably appreciate it much more than Proctor & Gamble or the Limited Co. ever would! (And only needing to buy tops to match that gorgeous MM soaker or longies!! ) This gives these mom's a cuteness, creative outlet that has more far spread benefits for both the WAHM's they are buying from and the world we are living in! Plus, how fun to get a convert if you can show them the "new world" of cd'ing!

So, I say hyena, live on! (and let me know when you don't want it anymore!! )

Jesse, wife to DH , mama to DD 13, DS 11, DS 8, DD 6, DS 3 & bean EDD 12/18/13
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#53 of 60 Old 09-01-2004, 10:26 PM
 
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Now that they are readily available, people don't talk as much about them. I don't see threads any more about how awesome their HB diaper is.
Guess what......I LOVE MY HONEYBOYS!!!
They are 1/2 of my stash and I LOVE THEM. I have sold and bought and sold and bought....but never my honeyboys they are MINE!

I don't talk about them becasue no one cares....everytime I post I get the "they are so bulky" uhhhhhh no they are not. No bulkier than a diaper and a cover

Shelly- www.hyenacart.com/tyedyedreams 12 years and going strong Bleed free prefolds, flats and clothes
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#54 of 60 Old 09-01-2004, 10:27 PM
 
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Originally Posted by jessicaSAR
Also, it is not necessarily wrong to raise money after a purchase.
Um, I have to disagree with that. I don't think you should buy something unless you have the money to pay for it. Aside from making the WAHM wait for her money, it's also unfair to the other willing buyers who aren't able to buy it even though they have the money in their hand.

-Alice, SAHM to dd (2001) and ds (2004) each of whom was a homebirth.jpg, who each self-weaned at 4.5 years bfolderchild.gif, who both fambedsingle2.gif'd, who were bothcd.gif, and both: novaxnocirc.gif.   Also, gd.gif, and goorganic.jpg!

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#55 of 60 Old 09-01-2004, 10:29 PM
 
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Originally Posted by jmreinke
I totally have to smile at this statement. Once upon a time, in a not so long ago time, these two dipes were HUGE Hyena items. HBs used to go for $100+!

Now that they are readily available, people don't talk as much about them. I don't see threads any more about how awesome their HB diaper is.

I know...thats why I had to mention it...sugar peas were hot too ...not too long ago it all ebbs and flows huh?
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#56 of 60 Old 09-01-2004, 10:33 PM
 
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[QUOTE=kindmomma]Guess what......I LOVE MY HONEYBOYS!!!
They are 1/2 of my stash and I LOVE THEM. I have sold and bought and sold and bought....but never my honeyboys they are MINE!

I don't talk about them becasue no one cares....everytime I post I get the "they are so bulky" uhhhhhh no they are not. No bulkier than a diaper and a cover[/QUOTe

I agree we love ours too we have a whole stash of them and of another brand of fleece AIOs that used to be made but now the wahm is not in business anymore, imagne a trimmer lower rise honeyboy...
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#57 of 60 Old 09-01-2004, 10:39 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Sustainer
Um, I have to disagree with that. I don't think you should buy something unless you have the money to pay for it. Aside from making the WAHM wait for her money, it's also unfair to the other willing buyers who aren't able to buy it even though they have the money in their hand.
My point was that if you are buying a custom slot and you CANNOT (meaning she will not take your money, not you don't have the money) pay for it until the wahm is ready to make it and complete the order, then you are in no way making the wahm wait for her money (I am thinking of custom spots like FM or MM for example, where you might pay a couple of $ or nothing until your # is up). I agree that it is inconsiderate to purchase items if you do not have the money to pay, AND the money is expected at the time of ordering. I don't think we disagree here. I was just saying that those raising money posts are not all the same. And, we have to be careful not to overgeneralize.
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#58 of 60 Old 09-01-2004, 10:51 PM
 
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#59 of 60 Old 09-01-2004, 11:15 PM
 
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Originally Posted by kindmomma
Guess what......I LOVE MY HONEYBOYS!!!
They are 1/2 of my stash and I LOVE THEM. I have sold and bought and sold and bought....but never my honeyboys they are MINE!

I don't talk about them becasue no one cares....everytime I post I get the "they are so bulky" uhhhhhh no they are not. No bulkier than a diaper and a cover

Awesome! I'll support you and not tell you how bulky they are... Much of my stash are homemade HoneyBoy Home fitteds. Not AIOs but still the HB pattern, and I love them!
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#60 of 60 Old 09-01-2004, 11:31 PM
 
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Originally Posted by jessicaSAR
My point was that if you are buying a custom slot and you CANNOT (meaning she will not take your money, not you don't have the money) pay for it until the wahm is ready to make it and complete the order, then you are in no way making the wahm wait for her money (I am thinking of custom spots like FM or MM for example, where you might pay a couple of $ or nothing until your # is up). I agree that it is inconsiderate to purchase items if you do not have the money to pay, AND the money is expected at the time of ordering. I don't think we disagree here. I was just saying that those raising money posts are not all the same. And, we have to be careful not to overgeneralize.
OK, thanks for clarifying. It does make a difference if payment is not due at time of purchase. However, I'm still uncomfortable with placing an order and then hoping you can raise enough money to pay for it by the time the money's due. How can you be SURE you'll be able to raise enough money, and raise it in time? I would wait to order until I had the money already saved up, and then I would not touch that money for anything else.

-Alice, SAHM to dd (2001) and ds (2004) each of whom was a homebirth.jpg, who each self-weaned at 4.5 years bfolderchild.gif, who both fambedsingle2.gif'd, who were bothcd.gif, and both: novaxnocirc.gif.   Also, gd.gif, and goorganic.jpg!

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