Can someone please explain to me what is going on here? - Page 3 - Mothering Forums

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Old 04-29-2005, 03:02 AM
 
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I was a glutton and between my dh (who got heckled around his office when his co-workers found out why he was 15 minutes late to his meeting : ) and I, we scored 5 but those little babies won't be pried unless from my cold, dead hands. :LOL Even then I have made dh promise that if I keel over and die he has to still CD dd and there is no way he feels the pf love like me so he'll be reaching for those FCBs. With that being said I really hate when I see people turn around and sell stuff on Ebay right after a stocking. They know they are going to make a profit and I won't buy any overspending or whatever the excuse of the auction may be. It even bothers me when people buy just for the sake to buy knowing full well they do not want them. IMHO, the only exception to this is when people stalk for others.

I sound so opinionated don't I? Sorry.

I dunno. FM is the only place I stalk and I have been very fortunate so far. I just wish that others who really, really want them had the same opportunity to succeed at a stocking, too and cut out the competition from people who don't have the same love of the diaper. Sure, people can do whatever they want when they buy something but I consider CDing partially a hobby and I respect and enjoy the product and the commaderie with others who love the same diapers. OK, I am rambling now...
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Old 04-29-2005, 03:13 AM
 
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Meg, thank you for posting this. This has been bothering me for a few days now.

I don't get it either. I stalk if someone asks me to stalk. If they don't then too bad, I buy what I *need*. And when Fluffymail is concerned, you don't have to rush through checkout because it sits in your cart waiting for you. I don't often buy the "Oh I overbought it was so crazy" thing very often.

I just don't get buying more than you need or can afford. Doesn't make much sense to me. Because not everyone can see the TP and I hate the idea of me grabbing a diaper someone really wanted and not use it for myself because I wanted it but just decided to snag it cuz I was there.

And while I am at it, Hyena Hoarders bother me too, especially when I am looking for a specific ISO and they have it but refuse to sell they only want to trade. The item in question is just sitting in a drawer not being used and they only bought it because they wanted to use it as leverage to get something. It makes me sad. Someone who really really wants that item but doesn't have the wanted trade item is screwed. It's like bizarre diaper politics.

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Old 04-29-2005, 03:15 AM
 
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I am one of the people who actually appreciates it when someone puts a hyena diaper on ebay because it gives those of us who can't score at stockings a fair chance to try a diaper. I don't think it's taking advantage of the WAHM because the WAHM is free to put it on ebay herself.

But I still don't understand the point of buying hyena items at a stocking - not for yourself - and not for a specific friend - but just to put on the TP for random buyers. How does that help anyone? How is selling it to the first TP stalker who nabs it any different than selling it to the first FM stalker who nabs it? It just creates a middleman.

Lindsay does have a point about the FM stocking happening so fast that you don't have time to evaluate whether or not an available diaper is one that you particularly want. You just have to grab what you can, and then decide what you're going to keep. So I can understand someone buying in haste and selling in leisure. Click first and ask questions later.

Quote:
Originally Posted by ustasmom
My problem with buying a diaper or such that I don't want in order to trade it for something that I do want is the fact that I took it away from someone who did want or need it.
But you're trading it to someone who probably wants it just as much as the person you beat to the check out with it, so it is ultimately going to go to someone who really wants it.

Quote:
Originally Posted by juliebuggie
I did get a lc diaper of the tp for what they paid Thanks mama. So i am all for it.
It sounds like the reason you're in favor of it is because you happened to benefit from it this time. So if you had tried to buy a diaper directly from the FM stocking and the only reason you didn't get it is because someone else got to it first who then put it on the TP and sold it to someone else, then you'd probably be against it. Right?

-Alice, SAHM to dd (2001) and ds (2004) each of whom was a homebirth.jpg, who each self-weaned at 4.5 years bfolderchild.gif, who both fambedsingle2.gif'd, who were bothcd.gif, and both: novaxnocirc.gif.   Also, gd.gif, and goorganic.jpg!

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Old 04-29-2005, 03:22 AM
 
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This is a very interesting thread, and I respect all the opinions involved. But I don't think any of this is a new phenomenom. Not only have I seen these kinds of threads every week or so since I joined MDC, but really, when you think about it, this stuff has been going on as long as humans have been bartering and selling.
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Old 04-29-2005, 03:28 AM
 
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Oh, I also can't help being bothered by buying something just for the "thrill of the hunt." I mean, there I am, refreshing and refreshing and refreshing because I've really fallen in love with a particular diaper, and someone else grabs it, not because they want it, not even because someone they know wants it, but just for the adrenaline rush. That kind of turns me off. I mean, there are lots of other ways you could get an adreneline rush.

-Alice, SAHM to dd (2001) and ds (2004) each of whom was a homebirth.jpg, who each self-weaned at 4.5 years bfolderchild.gif, who both fambedsingle2.gif'd, who were bothcd.gif, and both: novaxnocirc.gif.   Also, gd.gif, and goorganic.jpg!

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Old 04-29-2005, 03:44 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ZeldasMom
You know the whole hyena thing doesn't appeal to me the slightest little bit, and this kind of behavior provides a perfect example of why.

Yes! I have actually turned IRL friends of mine to any other board BUT this one because it's behavior like this that would actually turn them off from CD'ing.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sustainer
I mean, there are lots of other ways you could get an adreneline rush.
Like not sitting at the computer all day refreshing?? Playing with my child outside? Just a few things I can think of.
Ok, I have been there and done that, I stalked a few times, got lucky and KEPT the items for our use. But for me, it's not worth it.
ETA: not directed at you Alice Your post set a lightbulb off in my head
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Old 04-29-2005, 03:58 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sustainer
Oh, I also can't help being bothered by buying something just for the "thrill of the hunt." I mean, there I am, refreshing and refreshing and refreshing because I've really fallen in love with a particular diaper, and someone else grabs it, not because they want it, not even because someone they know wants it, but just for the adrenaline rush. That kind of turns me off. I mean, there are lots of other ways you could get an adreneline rush.

No kidding!! It's like you can just hear someone saying "na-na na-na na-na!"

There are several diapers I would like to try but I just can't take the time away from my son to stalk for things all day long, when I probably won't get it anyways.

Now, I have a sewing machine, a serger, and a snap press...but I can't seem to inspire myself to make my own diapers!! Hopefully soon I'll have the time
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Old 04-29-2005, 04:17 AM
 
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Plus, a lot of people are stalking a particular diaper because they know that *their child* will love the print. So it's like taking candy from a baby, you know?

-Alice, SAHM to dd (2001) and ds (2004) each of whom was a homebirth.jpg, who each self-weaned at 4.5 years bfolderchild.gif, who both fambedsingle2.gif'd, who were bothcd.gif, and both: novaxnocirc.gif.   Also, gd.gif, and goorganic.jpg!

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Old 04-29-2005, 04:19 AM
 
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Could I offer a newbie perspective? I was so excited to find this community. So much information, so many like-minded people having lively discussions! But I have to admit that this so-called "hyena" behavior is a real turn-off for a new person. There is much said about new folks needing to become part of the community, to invest in the community, before certain priveleges are allowed. I understand that. But the hyena behavior, the -dare I say it- showcasing- of some- seems to go against many MDC member philosophies of living simply, treading lightly, not "overconsuming," etc. It might just be me, but sometimes when I'm here, I feel just like I did in high school. All the pretty popular girls wore the Guess! jeans, Esprit sweaters, and other highpriced trendy clothes. They all sat at the same lunch table and seemed to be having the greatest, most fun time in the world. They were all nice enough, but I never quite new how to talk to them, how to relate. I know, cry me a freaking river! LOL! But do you understand what I mean?
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Old 04-29-2005, 04:28 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Smullarkey
Could I offer a newbie perspective? I was so excited to find this community. So much information, so many like-minded people having lively discussions! But I have to admit that this so-called "hyena" behavior is a real turn-off for a new person. There is much said about new folks needing to become part of the community, to invest in the community, before certain priveleges are allowed. I understand that. But the hyena behavior, the -dare I say it- showcasing- of some- seems to go against many MDC member philosophies of living simply, treading lightly, not "overconsuming," etc. It might just be me, but sometimes when I'm here, I feel just like I did in high school. All the pretty popular girls wore the Guess! jeans, Esprit sweaters, and other highpriced trendy clothes. They all sat at the same lunch table and seemed to be having the greatest, most fun time in the world. They were all nice enough, but I never quite new how to talk to them, how to relate. I know, cry me a freaking river! LOL! But do you understand what I mean?
Yes, I think I do kwym. I am one who does enjoy "collecting", but I do know that the collecting aspect is sometimes too emphasized here and agree that it's not a great place for a cd newbie. The emphasis here isn't on the technical aspects of diapering, but more on the collecting/hobby/art part. That's not necessarily a bad thing but it's possible to get too caught up in that part of it. (I speak from experience. ). When I first started cding years ago, I learned about it at the BTL yahoo group, which seems to be dead now. Those ladies were so great, much of the discussion was focused on the technical parts of cding- how to stuff your fuzzi bunz, how to wash, how to fold a prefold, troubleshooting if you had a leaking issue, etc. Back in those days, I mostly used prefolds and BSWWs, and we still had plenty to talk about. We could talk for a long time about the merits of different washing techniques, instead of just the latest, coolest thing to buy. I do miss how simple and comforting diapering was then.

I think we've wandered off of the original topic, but not completely.
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Old 04-29-2005, 04:42 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sustainer
Plus, a lot of people are stalking a particular diaper because they know that *their child* will love the print. So it's like taking candy from a baby, you know?
:LOL
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Old 04-29-2005, 04:44 AM
 
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Yes, monopolizing a hyena stocking and putting the hyena fluff on the TP where newbies can't access it doesn't do much to help the "in crowd" vs. "outsiders" problem that we already have in this forum, does it? Hugs to you Smullarkey, and thank you for bringing that up!

-Alice, SAHM to dd (2001) and ds (2004) each of whom was a homebirth.jpg, who each self-weaned at 4.5 years bfolderchild.gif, who both fambedsingle2.gif'd, who were bothcd.gif, and both: novaxnocirc.gif.   Also, gd.gif, and goorganic.jpg!

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Old 04-29-2005, 07:35 AM
 
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I'm new. I wanted just ONE particular diaper at the FM stocking (the Sushi envelope). But I don't feel comfortable yet asking people to stalk for me. I kinda feel like it's a bit wrong...there might be 3 other mamas wanting that same print and it wouldn't be fair to have the advantage or 2 or 3 people trying to get the item for me and maybe nobody helping the other mamas wanting the item.

If I can't buy an item fairly, for myself, I feel it's a bit tainted in my eyes and it looses some appeal if I can just go buy it off someone else who bought it and didn't really want it.

That said, I personally think it's only fair to try to buy 1 or 2 items at a stocking like this where you know other mamas really want things and they'll sell out quickly. This is because I would just choose my favourite item and try for that...because it's the one I MUST have. I would hope others might do the same out of fairness, but i guess that's not the case.

I have no chance yet of seeing the TP so I guess I'll never know if the item I really wanted is even listed there, but I guess I don't really care. I'd rather be able to go the WAHM store and just buy the item I really want in the first place, which is maybe what more people could have done if everyone would just buy what was relly needed for themselves.

Oh well, I only have time to stalk for cute stuff now because my baby isn't here yet and it takes my mind off these last weeks of pregnancy. Once baby gets most of my time will be taken up caring for and interacting with my baby, so I don't think I'll get another opportunity to get the items I really wanted.
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Old 04-29-2005, 08:10 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MissSugarKane
It's official...I am no longer a hyena.I can sit and read this thread and not give a care either way.I have no opinion

Okay now back to my :
Me too!

I am so happy with my non hyena diapers. It became a real turn off for me too.
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Old 04-29-2005, 09:18 AM
 
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Agreeing with the majority. It's a complete turn-off. And not only is it really NOT classy to hoard hyena diapers and sell for a profit, but what's with all these women who stockpile TONS and TONS of these so-called "hyena" diapers only to show them off on picture threads? These are the moms who have 4 or 5 weeks worth of diapers at their disposal when some of us struggle to get 2 days worth of diapers. I understand some of us are in better financial situations but why stalk the TP looking for great deals, while snatching them away from people who really need them? Seems a bit much, doesn't it? Like taking a lollipop from a child. And TRADING hyena things for other hyena things. These moms won't even accept paypal for those willing to put themselves into hock to TRY one of these diapers or wool. IMHO, "hyenas" have become some bizarre cult. I too am addicted to LOOKING at diapers and love to pet my fluff but for once I'm with my hubby when I say, "they POOP in these things, relax!" Thank goodness I'm okay with prefolds and trying to learn to knit so I can afford wool over my girl's bottom. I'm lucky in that I now have 2wool covers because a mom on here was kind enough to help me out, otherwise we'd be stuck with one that we pray doesn't get dirty.

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Old 04-29-2005, 09:45 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Smullarkey
There is much said about new folks needing to become part of the community, to invest in the community, before certain priveleges are allowed. I understand that. But the hyena behavior, the -dare I say it- showcasing- of some- seems to go against many MDC member philosophies of living simply, treading lightly, not "overconsuming," etc. It might just be me, but sometimes when I'm here, I feel just like I did in high school. All the pretty popular girls wore the Guess! jeans, Esprit sweaters, and other highpriced trendy clothes. They all sat at the same lunch table and seemed to be having the greatest, most fun time in the world. They were all nice enough, but I never quite new how to talk to them, how to relate. I know, cry me a freaking river! LOL! But do you understand what I mean?
This sums it up beautifully for me.

But, I do enjoy listening to everyone debate and justify and rationalize. :LOL
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Old 04-29-2005, 09:53 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 425lisamarie
Now, I have a sewing machine, a serger, and a snap press...but I can't seem to inspire myself to make my own diapers!! Hopefully soon I'll have the time
Creating your own fluff is a whole new addiction and I find since I started this that I'm rarely dissapointed when I don't succeed at a stocking. If I see a print I like THAT much I go online to see where I can grab it and make some of my own.

Dani, wife to Cullen - 9/2002, mom to CJ 11/2004, Billy 12/2007 and Nora 7/2009
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Old 04-29-2005, 11:05 AM
 
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I never really had any hyena stuff (well, I did have an SOS once) but I have owned some pretty nice diapers. I've never tried the whole stalking thing because my computer is too slow for that! But you know what? I have come full-circle and I'm back to the simple life of prefolds and pull-on covers (dappi, alexis, etc). I've sold everything else on ebay. And you know what? It feels great, not only to get some desperately needed money, but also to simplify life a little. I used to have a whole dresser full of dipes, and it took forever to explain to dh what everything was and how to use it (and I even had to label everything so he would know which diapers belonged to who, and which ones needed covers, etc). Now I have a diaper stacker with prefolds in it (and the ones that won't fit are in the closet on the shelf). Each boy's covers are in their dresser drawer with their clothes. CLOTHES... for the first time in forever I'm actually using the dresser for clothes. This is probably a bit off-topic, but I wanted to agree with what a previous poster said about MDC supposedly being about living life simply and not over-consuming, etc. Not that you shouldn't own the hyena diapers. But do you need 100 of them for one baby? I have 2 babies in diapers now, and own 3 dozen prefolds.

That being said, how do I feel about the buying and selling of hyenas? I think all's fair in love and diapers, so chill out. These are DIAPERS! If someone wants to buy one with the intent of maybe making a profit on ebay, let them. Don't knock ebay- it's a lot of fun. I often use ebay as a way to "make up for" too much spending. I recently sold all my wonderoos- after 6+ months of use I still got 60% back, and that was with buy-it-now; if I had let them go completely auction, maybe more? Did I sell them because I knew that they are in-demand and I knew I could get some pretty decent money? Yes. If I see a ton of carters clothes on clearance in Ross, do I consider buying them just to resell them on ebay for more? Sure. (though I've never tried it, but it seems like a good idea to me). Why is it okay to try to make some money selling kids' clothes, but not with diapers? I've been cloth-diapering for 3+ years, and it still amazes me how much money people are willing to spend. So, if I had the ability I would take advantage of that. And like another poster said, it's not like the wahm can't put them on ebay herself if she wanted to.

Was this a bunch of useless rambling? : Probably. But just wanted to get some things out there and some different perspective.

They're just diapers... Your baby doesn't care. And it's not like you're stuck going with all prefolds (unless you want to) if you can't score some hyena fluff. There's TONS of cute wahm diapers out there that are very easy to get. And let me say it again... They're just diapers.......... :
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Old 04-29-2005, 11:22 AM
 
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This is kinda funny : . Would a sposie user even believe it? :LOL
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Old 04-29-2005, 11:24 AM
 
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Someone asked wasn't it "silly" to care about why people buy... I guess... but we're talking about a community that actually has members getting MAD when they don't score something as "silly" as a diaper. Silly is as silly does, I guess.

Let me clarify what I meant... I don't think there is anything wrong with buying 5 FCBs if you were hoping to get 5 FCBs. But, if you didn't even really want one but you bought 3 I just don't think that's normal. If we were talking about anything in the mainstream consumer world, here at MDC, people would be very critical of this kind of behavior.

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Old 04-29-2005, 11:26 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jmunch
What is the story with buying diapers at stockings with abandon that you don't want and then selling them on the TP? What is the point? I understand if you are buying something in particular for someone else, but why just buy random things you don't want? I have been around here a while and this seems to be a relatively new phenomenon. It seems pointless. Unless of course it's a popularity contest.
The last time I got 2 diapers from the fluffymail stocking I did it for the fun of it but also to sell them to someone who couldnt get one because of their slower modem. I only sold them for what I paid plus shipping to them.
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Old 04-29-2005, 11:40 AM
 
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I can personally say, I was very grateful, Tammi!
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Old 04-29-2005, 11:42 AM - Thread Starter
 
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This was not intended to be a thread about people buying diapers and selling them at a profit on the TP or Ebay. I think we have been around that block, oh maybe half a dozen times.

I was inquiring as to why people are buying diapers if they don't need or want them. Sure, the explanation that they are stalking for the fun of it to offer them to their "friends" on the TP seems like a decent explanation. However, there are factors that seem to be coming to light here that does indeed make me feel that this practice is not only what I once deemed annoying, but now simply not fair. It is true that newbies cannot see the TP, therefore being denied the chance to buy a diaper that a seasoned "hyena" was able to score due to manicured hyenacart or the like skills. Also, there are those Mamas who work and can maybe make 5 minutes to try to buy a diaper at a scheduled stocking but certainly cannot troll the TP all day looking for the leftovers.

I, too agree that many of the ideals, so to speak, that make MDC what it is are not present anymore here. It used to be that you could pop on the computer and buy some diapers for your baby to wear. Now, it has become a game of who can buy the most. Think about that, who can buy the most. Mamas buying for the sake of buying, spending money they do not have, the thrill of shopping.

I don't know, it's just not working for me anymore.
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Old 04-29-2005, 11:52 AM
 
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Originally Posted by carrietorgc
first, kim that is so cute that your dd stalked for you!!

I see what kim and meg described happen with not just fm, but sos, etc - i'm frankly pretty turned off trying for hyena dipes from all of it. from a human nature standpoint it is interesting to observe though.
It is quite interesting to observe.... I wonder if this will fizzle out eventually?
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Old 04-29-2005, 11:53 AM
 
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i have to admit, I was VERY VERY tempted to buy the lilac size 2 cover....because it was there, not b/c I needed it. It sat in my cart for a good 30 secs. How crazy is that? I use flipping FBs for goodness sake, what would I do with a wool cover (okay so I do have a few fitteds, but not enuf to warrant getting started on wool again)? The temptation to buy things I didnt even use/need/want/whatever is why I gave up my hyena stash abt 6 months ago. I truly was buying to buy. I think MOST of us do that here - at least in some capacity. Whether or not we admit it or tell ourselves, but ________ fits my babe sooooooo well, along with the other 40 dipes that fit soooooo well - this was my personal strategy - but a lot of us do.

and this "buying things up phenomenom" isnt new...does anyone else remember the particularly nasty "that's so not fair to me...I mean us" thread after a big RB stocking last year? I bet you do MissSugarCane, prob you too Jmunch. It got bad. I'm actually pleasantly suprised at how nicely this thread is going so far.
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Old 04-29-2005, 11:54 AM
 
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Originally Posted by jmunch
I, too agree that many of the ideals, so to speak, that make MDC what it is are not present anymore here. It used to be that you could pop on the computer and buy some diapers for your baby to wear. Now, it has become a game of who can buy the most. Think about that, who can buy the most. Mamas buying for the sake of buying, spending money they do not have, the thrill of shopping.

I don't know, it's just not working for me anymore.
another Well said.
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Old 04-29-2005, 12:00 PM
 
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I think the whole buying frenzy is an interesting one. Especially that so much of it seems to happen with MDC mama's. It seems rather ironic to me. I don't want to go down the whole consumerism conversation again.

I just think it's interesting that from my perspective MDC tends to have the mama's that are the biggest Hyenas and it seems rather ironic given that it's a AP/NFL forum.

I don't do the whole stalking thing for diapers/covers. I got turned off about that very early on
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Old 04-29-2005, 12:16 PM
 
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I think having more cloth diapers/accessories, and handmade WAHM outfits that overlaps with your wool cover stash, etc, than you really need is one of the most innocent forms of overconsumerism or just plain overdoing it on something that I've witnessed in my life. It's a brief period for a mama when you have little ones to diaper and dress however you want, and getting some joy from specialty handmade works of art for your child's bum or whole outfit is just not that un-AP, IMO. If you have wayyyy more 'stuff' in your life, in general, then perhaps you need to rethink your relationship to material items and think about treading lighter on the planet, overall...... but if it's just a bigger-than-you-technically-must-have diaper stash or clothing collection for your child, or even also more slings than you must have (gasp!), I say it's just a bit of excess baby/toddler enthusiasm coming from mama and probably all good. I, at least, am speaking for myself and do find myself in that category--not a huge consumer/shopper these days (and living quite simply in a small apartment with my small family) for anything but WAHM creations for my child. I enjoy it. I don't feel guilty about that.
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Old 04-29-2005, 12:26 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Butterflymom
I think having more cloth diapers/accessories, and handmade WAHM outfits that overlaps with your wool cover stash, etc, than you really need is one of the most innocent forms of overconsumerism or just plain overdoing it on something that I've witnessed in my life. It's a brief period for a mama when you have little ones to diaper and dress however you want, and getting some joy from specialty handmade works of art for your child's bum or whole outfit is just not that un-AP, IMO. If you have wayyyy more 'stuff' in your life, in general, then perhaps you need to rethink your relationship to material items and think about treading lighter on the planet, overall...... but if it's just a bigger-than-you-technically-must-have diaper stash or clothing collection for your child, or even also more slings than you must have (gasp!), I say it's just a bit of excess baby/toddler enthusiasm coming from mama and probably all good. I, at least, am speaking for myself and do find myself in that category--not a huge consumer/shopper these days (and living quite simply in a small apartment with my small family) for anything but WAHM creations for my child. I enjoy it. I don't feel guilty about that.
I agree that it is pretty innocent (although it has the potential to get ugly and I have seen that happen here). I see nothing wrong with having more diapers than you need - I certainly do no matter how hard I try to simplify. :LOL But like Meg said, when mamas spend money they don't have just for the thrill of shopping or showing off what they have, that is sad. I've seen people complain about being broke, then turn around and beg for very expensive diapers that they HAVE to have. :

ETA: I'm not referring to those who have the occasional hard time financially (unexpected illness, house/car repairs, etc), but those who seem to have a chronic problem with it.
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Old 04-29-2005, 12:33 PM
 
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Originally Posted by belleandboo
I've seen people complain about being broke, then turn around and beg for very expensive diapers that they HAVE to have. :
I agree....one mama was once selling some hyena fluff on the TP because she had no other way of paying her electric bill that month, and that just made me feel awful for her. Every time I see her posting about spending $$ on hyena goods since then, I have conflicted feelings and just hope things are better for her. It does suck all the fun out of things when you know that kind of background info and makes you wish that we could all just stay within our budget.
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