We successfully ECed our first. From 3 - 10 months old he rarely pooped in his diaper, and frequently peed in the potty. He LOVED his potty time. Then we made an international move, put him in sposies for a month (in hotel with no laundromat), and He. Re. Gressed. I spent the whole 9 months we were there getting him back to it, and he got there... By the time we left he was consistently requesting to use the potty and never going in his diaper/underwear. Well, then we moved again... back home. Another regression. I tried to be patient. Then my husband lost his job, I became pregnant and very sick. Then there was a new baby. Now it's been over 1.5 years and we have not gotten him back to ever wanting to use the toilet. He goes in his underwear every day, several times a day. He even at times takes his pants off and goes on the floor. He has even spread it around and put it in places around the house. I know I am supposed to never be upset, but I'm absolutely about to have a breakdown now. I'm sick of reading that setbacks and "pauses" are normal. What I have now is a permanent regression (for him) and a developing anger problem (for me). For a while I stopped worrying about it and decided that he would stop doing it when he wanted to. But I'm starting to be overwhelmed now. I know he's only 3, but he has known for a long, long time how to use the potty and how to request I take him. He now even knows how to do it on his own. So this feels very deliberate to me that he just won't. And I know my anger isn't helping, but I'm in a cycle now... and I don't know what to do. I'm aspiring towards unconditional parenting but I recently gave up and started offering rewards. Guess what? He doesn't care about rewards! I'm so losing my mind I'm thinking of going to punishment next even though I know that won't work either (and I am so against it). Help!! Also, he doesn't fit any of our diapers and I'm not spending money on new ones for this.
Oh and I'm so bummed but I cannot get EC to work at all with our new little one. We were off to a really good start, but every time I hold him over something he just won't go and he gets mad. And then I put him back in his diaper and he goes. I've tried different positions and different potties/receptacles. No dice. Sigh. I was almost hoping my older one would see the little one go in the potty and decide he should use the potty too.