It is such a relief to read this! I am having a very similar experience with my daughter, who is 3 yrs 5 mos. We did EC from about 2 mos, not 100% of the time but did cloth diapers and a lot of bottomless time. We switched to underwear at 14 mos and I was feeling great (smug, even!) about the whole EC thing. Currently, though, she still wets her underwear several times a day and even sometimes poops little in her underwear. (She almost always saved poop for the potty from about 8 mos on until recently!) I feel like we were very successful at getting her to go when on the potty, not so successful at getting her to communicate and initiate. She did say "potty" when she had to go when she was younger. Now, if you ask her if she has to go potty, she will automatically say no. I really don't want to force her, but feel so much frustration and just want to keep those underwear dry! Like Alisha said, I just feel like we've been potty training forever! We hold our 6 month old son over the sink when he wakes or when it seems to be time, and he almost always goes, but again I feel like we are not focusing on getting him to communicate, which was really the piece that didn't develop with our daughter. I just feel so glad to know we are not alone in this experience. I really was (and am?) sold on the concept of EC, but wish I had a better time of it!
oh I'm so relieved to read this! We're having a similar experience... we part-time EC'd from 3 weeks old (diapers when we were out & diaper free at home), DD never gave signals for pee so it was just timing and a lot of misses, especially after she started crawling (at 5 months!). She's been 100% in the potty with poop for the last year, she doesn't tell us when she needs to go but I can tell she is trying, so I take her. There was a period from about 17-19 months when she would tell me when she needed to go or even take herself on occasion, but now she hates the potty. She's 23 months old and we have maybe a few pees in the potty all day long, I ask her if she needs to go and she always says "no" even if she pees 10 seconds later. like somebody else said - it feels like I've been potty training forever and its SO discouraging when non-EC'd kids are potty trained already, I know you aren't supposed to compare, and she's not even 2 yet, but seriously I think its made being fully potty trained harder since going on the potty is old hat, not new & exciting. I debate between totally forgoing anymore potty trips until she initiates it since she resists so much now, but every time I decide I'm going to do that - I just can't seem to stop taking her to the potty since its what I've done multiple times a day since she was a newborn! And like yamilee - next time I won't expect anything beyond fewer diapers to wash and no diaper rash. sigh...
If it makes you all feel any better, my awesome EC'ed baby (until between 10-12 months when she went on strike, and had several full panty weeks off an on over the next few years, but nothing consistent), is now fully potty trained! I was very frustrated in the fall when I posted this originally. About 2 months ago (she was about 3 years 4 months old), she potty trained, day and night, literally overnight. She just decided she was ready I guess. I did encourage it by running out of disposable pull-ups (I had gotten tired of cloth with her and had taken a break for a few months) and refusing to buy any more. I told her she could wear cloth diapers or panties, her choice. She wore cloth diapers on and off for a week, but mostly just didn't wear any bottoms and did pretty good. At the end of that week she decided she was ready for panties and has only had a few accidents since.
It was so long in coming and did feel like nearly 3 1/2 years of potty training. I only occasionally put my 15 month old on the potty. If I catch him at the beginning of a poop or if he wants some nakey time, he goes on the potty. Only a few times a week though, with no expectations from me. I think this is a better place for me to be.