cuing into diaper - Mothering Forums
Elimination Communication > cuing into diaper
heatherr30's Avatar heatherr30 06:25 AM 02-21-2011

Just wondering what others' thoughs on this are...  There are some places where I just feel too embarrassed to publicly EC my 4 week old.  Today we were in a very busy public bathroom with a changing table in the corner... there was no way to bring DS into a cubicle without waiting in line, and I was embarrassed to use a sink esp with lots of people washing their hands there.  But I knew DS needed to poo and could hold it and get tummy ache if I didn't help him go.  I felt the most discreet thing was to cue DS in his diaper holding his legs up to help him push and then clean him up and change him.  I wasn't happy with that, I've done that a few times recently and worried I might teach him to go in his diaper?  But not sure what else I could do in this situation as I couldn't potty him he would have eventually gone in his diaper anyway.  What do others think?

MoonStarFalling's Avatar MoonStarFalling 09:01 AM 02-21-2011
I've always hated those times where I had to wait in line at a restroom and I don't use public sinks or busy areas outdoors. I think keeping a potty in the car is a good option, if you have a car. When I cue into a diaper I take the diaper off and put it on the changing table, then cue.
littleblue's Avatar littleblue 11:42 AM 02-21-2011

I do this when we are at family/friends houses sometimes as some are a bit funny about ec so we try to be discreet. I change it straight after though so its as if he is going on the potty.

hrsmom's Avatar hrsmom 01:19 PM 02-21-2011

It's fine.  :)

LCBMAX's Avatar LCBMAX 12:26 PM 03-24-2011

Did it lots, even on airplanes (a big no-no from their perspective.) It worked best with disposables, and that was mostly what we did on airplanes anyway. They stay so nicely curled that I could just keep the dipe in a discreet position, and I think I even just held the back end on his body and let the front drop down. A little aiming and we were done. Go for it! -- oh, sorry, just reread your post more carefully and I see you're really thinking about poop.


In that case, I probably would have done the same as pee, can't remember though. Anyway, as a prospective sharer of a public bathroom, I fully support you toileting your pooping child into a diaper in my presence, either against the wall somewhere relatively peaceful, or on the changing table, or even in the sink. I will be the one offering you a wipe since you don't have a free hand.



heatherr30's Avatar heatherr30 02:45 PM 03-29-2011


I fully support you toileting your pooping child into a diaper in my presence, either against the wall somewhere relatively peaceful, or on the changing table, or even in the sink. I will be the one offering you a wipe since you don't have a free hand. 

I would love some more details on how you would position yourself and LO... I feel like I need both hands to hold DS as he is 2 months old and still pretty floppy... KWIM...  I can barely get a finger in there to aim his willy let alone hold a diaper!

LCBMAX's Avatar LCBMAX 12:13 PM 03-30-2011

At that age, I was doing all the aiming by tilting his hips forward or back. Um - how to describe?

I'd be squatting, holding him in a sitting position between my open legs, with my thumbs on top of his thighs, his upper back leaning against my belly/ chest, and the diaper (or 2!) laid out between my feet and slightly forward, depending if I was expecting pee or poop or both. Then for wiping poop, I'd lay him belly down over my thighs.

Does that make sense?

heatherr30's Avatar heatherr30 02:30 PM 03-31-2011

Great idea for wiping!  I think he is getting less floppy and the poo less explosive... pee still goes everywhere unless I hold him face down. :)  I will try your suggestion on the playground a few times as warmer weather has arrived!

heatherr30's Avatar heatherr30 02:31 PM 03-31-2011

Anyway the pees aren't a big problem when we're out cause i never know when to expect them anyway... so I just try and change him as often as I can...  it's just that because I don't know when to expect them they tend to surprise me while I am cueing for a poo, KWIM...

LCBMAX's Avatar LCBMAX 08:58 PM 04-01-2011

This is reminding me of a crafty project I used to dream about - an EC skirt or apron. I was imagining something made of prefolds, velcroing together in patches, so you could just swap out the soiled squares and keep going. It would drap down deeply between your legs when you sat, but still cover well your thighs. I think I had forgotten all the times the poo would land in unintended places, like on my knees as I transferred him for wiping til your thread arose. Maybe it's all just messy, and that's ok! Still less messy than diapering in the long run, at least it was for us.

heatherr30's Avatar heatherr30 01:55 PM 04-02-2011

Tell me about it! There are so many times lately I've been out and had to throw away a nearly clean disposable, just because DS has farted into it and there's a smear of poop. The prefolds are a bit better cause then I can just turn them inside out and put them back on again.  I tried cuing into a diaper today in a quiet spot at the petting zoo today and it's easier than I expected!  Not sure if it's something I'd feel comfortable doing just yet in a crowded bathroom... my luck DS would probaby squirt pee on someone... but thank goodness the nice weather is finally here!

YangLiQiu's Avatar YangLiQiu 06:06 PM 04-02-2011
In China, they cue their babies to go into plastic bags -- but i guess that's defeating the purpose of EC if you're doing this for the earth!
emmaegbert's Avatar emmaegbert 01:20 PM 04-04-2011

sounds like you are doing great. newborns can poop so darn often... I don't think you need to worry about "teaching" him to go in the diaper... there will be many, many opportunities for him to be taught where to poop in the near future ;)


my LO actually started holding her poops when we started EC (around 2 1/2 m) and she has only pooped out of a potty a handful of times. And that was despite 2 1/2 months of "learning" to poop in her dipe. My older, we didn't even introduce potty until 15m and he stopped pooping in a diaper shortly after that. I know some folks have the opposite experience, but it seems both my kids were very aware of poop and very happy to be offered another choice than a diaper.


But at 4w? They were still pooping so often, there is no way I could have offered potty every time without that ruling my life. Actually my whole approach to EC had to be relatively relaxed or else it felt too stressful to me. I decided that I was going to assume that babies are smart and flexible, and moms aren't perfect, and that is just okay!


And I know what you mean about feeling embarassed or a kind of performance anxiety about public pottying. You could certainly loosen the diaper slightly, or even lay a few paper towels in there if you're hoping to use the diaper again afterwards (and they will feel different than the diaper too).


Good luck!

emmaegbert's Avatar emmaegbert 01:24 PM 04-04-2011

Originally Posted by YangLiQiu View Post

In China, they cue their babies to go into plastic bags -- but i guess that's defeating the purpose of EC if you're doing this for the earth!

but... if you cue into a plastic bag a couple times a week for a year when you happen to be out with your infant, vs expect your child to poop in a disposible diaper 1-2x per day for 3 years... well, I don't think that the former "defeats the purpose"... (and most of us do not live in a situation in which it is socially acceptable or even a good idea for public health reasons to have human feces all around... so we do have to contain and dispose of them in an appropriate manner).

heatherr30's Avatar heatherr30 02:54 PM 04-05-2011

I think cuing into a plastic bag is perfectly all right when a toilet is not available!