Hallo all. I haven't been around in a while - I seemed to keep getting attacked by a Trojan every time I visited either this forum or another one, so I ceased coming here for a while until we figured it out.
Anyway; I have a question, and I was wondering if any of you could relate.
I've begun cueing mah boy into a kitten litter box. It's working great - when he has to go. I hit it on the mark when he usually wakes up from a nap, or at night time(I change him/cue him at night depending, because he will NOT nurse unless he's dry, and will not relieve himself into an already soaked diaper), and during his feedings. But figuring out his cues beyond those moments... well they haven't been working too well. I know I'm not tuning in. So yesterday I tried something. I nursed him, completely diaperless, and sat him on my lap diaperless, and just watched tv with him. Suddenly he started wriggling around and whimpering and there was no question about it, I KNEW he had to go. So I squatted him over the "box potty", and sure enough.. he had to relieve himself.
But I'm completely clueless about his elimination needs when he has a diaper on. It's like...the diaper is creating this psychological distraction that prevents me from tuning in with my son's needs.
It's like..when he's diaperless, I can FEEL him. I can connect with him and know him in a way that just clouds up when he has a diaper on. I'm not afraid of him accidentally eliminating on me, but worried about leaks when he has a diaper on. Isn't that the funniest thing...?
Have any of you experienced this? Could you work around it? Or did you give in and accept it; afterall, this is how they were born. Him having a diaper on is not real important - let me say that - it's only important when we're in the other room where my future in-laws refurbished carpet lay. No diaperless grandson allowed.
I personally didn't experience that, but I've heard of lots of people who do. It's pretty common. I say go for it! Enjoy diaperless time while he's not mobile yet and it's easy, and see how well it works! Chances are things will change as he gets older, but diaperless time you spend now will build a wonderful foundation of connection between the two of you.
Since ECing is about communication it makes sense that the diaper would get in the way of that communication. Perhaps if he knows he is wearing a diaper he doesn't send the same cues, or you don't pick up on them for the same reason. I have had the same thing happen with my daughter. I don't get the 'I need to go' message I get the' hey, I went change my diaper' one instead.
I read this a while ago but now I really feel like I get this. I am doing a lot of diaper free time - all night, all day unless we are out. I really feel I'm more tuned in, and even more motivated, I think. Plus, if I do miss something it's like "hey, she's peeing" and I can cue her and also clean it up right away. Of course, she is 3 months, and it's summer, so it is the perfect time to be diaperless. I haven't got the confidence yet to go diaper free in the sling but I hope I will. (I use it so much out and about that I don't want to have to put it in the wash and be without!)
Today I didn't believe when she was popping on and off the breast that she had to pee - she just went a few minutes ago. But she did, and she peed on me, so that's my lesson! I don't mind it at all since it is just part of it. Plus, if I get wet I can change right away, but if she pees in a diaper she is powerless to do anything about it...
Thanks for the responses! Today marked the 5th day in a row he's been diaperless for the majority of the day. He definitely doesn't send the same signals when he has a diaper on; he knows when it's on, so if he's on my lap and has to go, his cues are much more mute than when he's diaperless on my lap. It's been working wonderfully - today was an off today because I was tired, but the day before that I was on the dot all day. I think the diapers definitely interfere with the signals, but I put him in a diaper approximately 3 hours before bed just to give us a break(I'll start losing my focus about 7 pm, so it's just easier to diaper him then), and he's in a diaper when he's sleeping for the night, because I am no where lucid enough when he starts wriggling around to take him to potty. Not to mention he does NOT like being picked up when he's half-asleep AND hungry(tried it before...screams bloody murder), if I'm prepared when he starts wriggling around hardcore and he's still dry, sometimes I put a waterproof pad down for him to pee on while still laying down, but usually half the time the only thought that comes to mind is nursing him, and the thought of anything going on in his diaper is only after the fact.
That's great! I agree that going diaperless really seems to help - we were really "on" yesterday and had no misses (including a 2 1/2 hour car trip...)! I know it's a process and is about the communication,not the catches, but it feels good when I know we are communicating well. (not expecting this to happen all the time.)
At night, my DD will wriggle....and wriggle and wriggle. It seems to take her forever to wake herself up to pee, so I sometimes pick her up to pee her, or I'll have to lie awake for a half-hour. Sometimes though, as you were finding, she needs to eat something first. Then, when she cues I hold her over the bowl - she generally complains (because I took her off the breast) but as soon as I make the "ssssss" sound she relaxes and pees. Then it's time to nurse back to sleep.