i have been ec'ing my now 8 week old son since he was 2 weeks old. i felt like we were doing great until about 6 days ago. i was catching about half the pees and all the poops in a day and he even seemed to wait for me to take him to the potty or take off his diaper before he'd go, sometimes holding much longer than usual by waiting.
for almost a week now, he cries everytime i hold him in the cueing position or make our cue sound, "psssst". this is happening when i KNOW he has to go based on both timing and signals, and then after crying i take him away from the potty and he goes on me, the floor ect. i have only been able to catch the first morning poop because he is still half asleep then. ive tried cueing him in different locations than our usual potty (the sink), but he still cries right away. all i can do with out him crying is make the cue sound while he goes in his diaper or while lying naked on a cloth diaper.
has anyone every experienced this kind of resistance after seeming to do so well? maybe he is going through a growth spurt and just isnt into it? maybe i should wait til he can sit on a real baby potty for his comfort? i dont know what to do and i geuss i just need a little support from other mamas to keep it up. should i keep trying even if he is fussy, or should i just give it a break until he is calm when i make the sound/take him to the potty.
i was also wondering if maybe his tummy was upset or a urinary tract infection, but he doesnt seem to cry when he goes on his own, just when i cue him.
help and support please?
my dd is 3 months, ECing since 2 weeks. I have noticed a bit of this, though not all the time. Sometimes i know she needs to go but she is just upset and can't. I've found the bathroom fan helps calm her so she can go. Also, dd was early and very small and holding her in position just didn't work. So i had her lying on her back on my knees, with her bum a little way off (bowl at my knees). if your DS seems relaxed going while lying down maybe try that?
I signed on because I am having similar issues. I have been doing EC for only about a month with our now 6 month old. We are awesome during the day, with many dry diapers and caught pees and poops. We started out doing great at nighttime, but now for the past three nights she wakes and signals to pee - then cries, back arches and squeezes her thighs together. I have tried the back to belly, sitting on a BB Little Potty, cradle hold over a bowl (which I hold between my knees). Then I put her back to bed, and she pees the bed. (Which is frustrating because we bedshare. I use lots of towels and prefold diapers, but it now seems like I am washing every towel I own AND my sheets daily.)
I know many parents don't EC at nighttime, but for us that is the most important time. We began EC because we were fighting a diaper rash that would heal during the day, then flare up horribly overnight because she was in the diaper too long.
Hopefully we can both get some advice on this thread, but I sympathize with you.
lismcc sometimes pressure on the bladder can make them cry, I have noticed that sometimes my DS cries and I interpret it as meaning he does not need to go... then realize too late he is crying because he suddenly noticed that he has to go. If you keep on cueing for a few sec does your LO void and stop crying? My DS will sometimes cry just before going and I think this is actually an effort to communicate his urgency.
On the other hand he will soemtimes cry because he is tired or hungry and does not want to be in the bathroom held over the toilet... he may go ahead and void if he needs to but he will keep on crying. Then I know he actually has some other problem that needs solved. As he gets older this gets more complicated as the crying could also indicate that he was having fun in the living room or wanted to look in the mirror instead of at the toilet seat.
California Ketus do you use CDs? If so I would like to suggest that you tweak your washing routine by changing the detergent, doing extra rinses, washing on hotter temp, etc or consider treating for thrush. Or possibly consider that the diapering system you are using is not working for your DD? I actually had CD problems with my Dd when she was about a year old--she had a yeast rash that went on for months. All that worked in the end was ditching the CDs for several weeks till the rash was good and gone, then doing a more aggressive washing routine (ie washing powder instead of wash nuts, and boil wash every time instead of the manufacturers recommended warm wash). I think you are doing great with the EC but you should also have a back-up system that you can be confident in, so you can get some sleep at night....
Don't give up! I started EC with my boy when he was three weeks and around 5 months he started having "potty strikes" (crying when offered the potty, and peeing or pooping right after putting the diaper back on.) This actually went on for months, I had almost given up, but then out of the blue he started getting into it. By 13 months he was almost exclusively pooping in the toilet, dry all night by 18 months, and in cotton undies by 2. So don't worry if they resist, be gentle, switch it up (i.e. if you offer a potty in a receptacle try the sink, or try outside!)
My DD is 6 months old and we EC from birth. We have been through this several times. The last episode was just a few weeks back and lasted nearly two weeks. We were doing laundry constantly. All I do is cut down on the number of times I offer and respect her wishes not to go. It is frustrating but for us it seems to pass after a week or two at most. We had no luck with alternate positions, she just did not want to use the potty then. Its hard, but at least for us it has turned. Two weeks ago I had barely 2-3 catches a day and today we haven't missed once. If you don't 'have any diaper rash issues then it may just be a developmental thing. Our DD just learned to crawl so I am equated the last strike to frustration in the precrawl phase. Best of luck to you.
Me (40) + DH (42) + DD (Jan 2011) + (due July 2013)
i'm glad i found this. my baby girl is 6 months has been doing this for a few days now, crying, straightening her legs, making me think she doesn't want to go, then weeing on me!! well glad to read it's normal.. she's just started crawling so maybe it's connected to that. we'll get through it... but will our carpets ?!
I use a diaper back up more during these times, so that it is less mess and stress on me. It can be frustrating to have them pee or worse poo on the floor right after you took them to the potty and they refused to go. I go back to diaper free time when my DD is more open to using the potty again.
Me (40) + DH (42) + DD (Jan 2011) + (due July 2013)
I'm there! What I've found helps remarkably is a cuddle before pottying. Sometimes the transition from being laid down, having the diaper pulled off, picked up, and squatted back down is too much stimulation for my son, so if I give him a cuddle and rock him a little bit so he relaxes, he's much more keen on doing his business. :)
Sorry you're going thru this! We did too. Turned out that our baby hated the classic EC position (perhaps bladder pressure like heatherr30 says) so I would pee and poo him over a pad on the bed or at the sink by placing his feet down for balance and gently aiming his bottom shifted a little bit backward, basically he's facing me and I've got him around the torso and his bum is shifting away from me. He loved this position and felt relaxed being able to see me. At 8 weeks, our boy was about 14 lbs and we began holding him on the mini potty. He loved this until about 6 months when he would refuse by standing. So, we switched it up again.
Some more solid advice, excerpted from my book...hopefully some of this might help you problem-solve. Sorry for the long cut-and-paste, but it's late! : o )
"When It Stops Working"
Baby stops signaling, you miss nearly every potty throughout the day, diapers are piling up, or things just aren’t working anymore.
What to do?
1. Experiment with new positions, environments, receptacles, and cues. Sometimes a change in scenery is all it takes.
2. Review The Basics of EC and start learning each other again.
3. Wear your baby more often and consider co-sleeping if you aren’t already. Both of these practices bring you closer to your baby’s body and closer to sensing/hearing/seeing/feeling his signals.
4. Check in with yourself. Are you too busy? Have you begun to tune baby out? Remembering this is a two-way communication will help you look at your side of the conversation: are you still present and listening or have other things taken your attention? Are you getting enough rest? Are you stressed?
5. Sing, take deep breaths, and help baby (and yourself) relax.
6. Read the special section in this book called Potty Pauses for info on EC breaks that are many days long. (basically, this sections talks about relaxing, understanding that pauses are part of the process - and an important one!...that you will learn if you stay open to receiving what's going on.)
7. Check your clothing & diapering strategies and see if they support EC like you want them to or if they need tweaking.
8. Reach out to your email support groups or forums...tell them what’s going on and ask for suggestions.
9. Realize that babies are constantly morphing, learning, exploring, growing, and experimenting. Trust that your baby will get back on track in her own way and on her own timetable. Gather information, relax, and don’t worry.
10. Focus on connecting with your baby and on nurturing yourself. A happy, connected parent makes EC flow more smoothly.
"Why A Younger Baby Might Cry Every Time You EC"
Babies generally do not cry because you are helping them potty, but rather because the act of peeing or pooing is unfamiliar, uncomfortable, and/or scary for them.
Keep in mind that your newborn has been in the womb for 9 months and hasn’t had to feel that strange new sensation....it can be plain weird for the first few months.
Babies also sometimes cry during pottying because they are fearful of the position you have them in. They may feel unsteady, uncomfortable, cold, or unable to figure out how to release their bladder.
1. Find a better position that baby can relax in. Try the Cradled Classic EC Position instead of just the Classic (baby will be cradled in the crook of your elbow, while your hands hold the thighs). Or, try the Bottom-back Position (that I described above in my post). Remember that preferences for certain positions may change as baby grows older.
2. Sing a soothing song while pottying to help chill baby out (we like “Twinkle, Twinkle”).
"If a Non-newborn Baby Protests When You Offer a Pottytunity"
Babies protest in order to get you to change something. Whether position, environment, or, hey, I don’t need to go right now, here are some tips for dealing with protest:
1. Oftentimes, a little change of scenery or position helps baby release her bladder:
•try a new position
•try letting baby sit on her own (if she can)
•try a new environment (sometimes going outdoors helps)
•try a new receptacle
2. If the baby is arching her back and straightening her legs, she may not need to go right now. Try again later. Never force a baby to stay in any position.
3. Developmentally, the baby may also be interested in his new unfolding world and all the things he wants to explore. In this mindset, he is distracted by shiny objects and would rather investigate those than potty. Be patient. The newness will pass.
4. An older baby may also be learning that she can now determine when and where she goes. Be patient. She’s experimenting.
5. Try reducing your Timing-based potty offerings and allow baby the space to look to you, on his own accord, when he needs help...instead of swooping him away from what he was engrossed in exploring when (unbeknownst to you) he was not ready to go yet. Remember that, as babies get older, they begin consolidating their pees and poos. Timing-based pottying may become defunct with an older baby.
6. Let her go diaper-free (or in undies/training pants) for a while to reconnect with her bodily cause & effect. When she goes in an undesirable place, say matter-of-factly, “You peed on the floor. Peepee goes in the potty.”
7. Let an older baby have more control over the process. Trust his growing intuition and bodily awareness. If he protests, trust that he knows his body and ask him to tell you when he needs to go so you can help him.
I hope that some of this might help you!!!
Andrea & Kaiva 12 mos.
Andrea Olson, DS 2.5 yrs, DD due 10/9/13
Author | EC Simplified: Infant Potty Training Made Easy
Owner | GoDiaperFree.com