How often do you talk to people about EC? - Mothering Forums
Elimination Communication > How often do you talk to people about EC?
escher's Avatar escher 06:15 PM 01-05-2012
I'm finding myself to be quite reluctant to talk to people about EC. In many settings I feel fairly unusual enough anyway (for using cloth diapers, planning to breastfeed for years, etc.) and I often just don't want to have to get into a whole conversation about pottying. But that makes it harder for me to potty my two-month-old when I'm with anyone except the few people who know about it. How often do you talk to people outside of your close friends and family about EC? What reactions have you experienced? Do you think telling people about EC tends to make it easier to do EC? Any advice here?


isabchi's Avatar isabchi 06:30 PM 01-05-2012

I have to EC "graduated" kiddos and we still talking about EC.I used to had an EC meeting once a month for new months.


hrsmom's Avatar hrsmom 11:39 PM 01-05-2012
I only chatted about it with a few people. I remember one time a friend saw me pottying my 2 month old (or so) and she insisted I could not do it. Ok, so I kept it to myself. When I did want to talk about EC, I would start with, "When I was pregnant, I read a book that said babies will pee in a bowl or something if you hold them over it." I only got flack from that one woman.

I was visiting a friend with a new baby. I could tell she needed to pee (the baby lol) and told my friend about EC. I fully expected her to drop everything and hold her baby over a potty. smile.gif Then I remembered that it took me awhile to warm up to the idea.
flyrabbitfly's Avatar flyrabbitfly 02:22 PM 01-06-2012

I always ECd as though it was the usual thing to do, even peeing DS in sinks in public restrooms with others present. I was actually a little disappointed that people rarely noticed! Friends and acquaintances usually were positive or too polite to say anythIng, lol. Not until I was overheard asking my 18 mo old if he needed to go potty and him nodding did I suddenly get a lot of interest from other parents- is he POTTY TRAINED? How did you do that? As they change diaper #2034...just do your thing, mama. A few ladies I met at BF support groups and one expecting friend I told about it decided to try it after seeing it work for us.  I never advertised it, just went about it and those who wonder will ask and a few of them might try it:).

seraf's Avatar seraf 06:06 AM 01-07-2012


I embraced the weird title long ago. 
 I don't talk about things that I think will bore other people. Not nursing, diapering or who pees where. 
When I'm in a social situation and any of my children say they need to use the bathroom, I just say, "Excuse me." and take the child to the bathroom. I might say to the baby, "Let's check your britches."  I give vague but honest answers if I'm questioned. Like if there's a changing table in a different room than the bathroom and someone tries to direct me there I'll say, "I think he needs to use the bathroom. I'll be back in a moment."
I haven't had any bad reactions that I can remember. I think once I put one of the older babies on the potty in mixed company and someone said, "Babies can't use the potty." and then the baby audibly went.   Another time I was chatting with a woman and my toddler-at-the-time did was happily playing so I didn't want to disturb him when the baby needed to go so I just opened the wet bag, pulled down the baby's pants and held the wet bag under her. She went and I just pulled her pants back up. The woman was curious and I mentioned that I had learned online that babies could communicate their need to potty. She asked, "And they just tell you to hold her over a bag?!?" I realized how it looked to her and explained the logic of not wanting to turn my happy toddler into a grumpy toddler and it clicked a bit more. 
I tend to use toilets instead of potties right now since its more work to clean out the potty. When I've used potties in playgroup settings I have worried more about other toddlers getting into it and other moms eye it like it might be germy and out to get their kid, so the toilet is my favorite. 
I don't know if telling people makes it easier. Recently we were staying with DPs family and every time he wiggled and fussed I would say, "I think he needs to pee, I'll bring him right back." By the end of the weekend her sister or mom would say, "I think he needs to pee." and hand him back to me. That makes it easier, but I don't know that random strangers knowing my kid pees in the toilet affects much. 
No advice really. I think mu own comfort level makes a big difference with everything baby related. If I'm anxious, my kids are more anxious and it's harder to nurse, potty or garner cooperation.   
I do think it's easier to explain EC from a standpoint of different cultures do things differently than from a personal place. Tho I have frequently used rashy babies as an excuse when I'm confronted about cloth diapers or EC. I find people who don't have babies are less threatened and more interested in the cultural issue and sometimes people who have babies see obvious parenting differences as a judgement on their choices, and favor the rashy excuse in those situations. 
All that said I have met women who carry naked babies around. They clearly aren't worried what others think. I didn't know about EC when I met the first and she didn't tell me but in retrospect I'm sure she did it. I was more worried about sunburn. LOL. 
Good luck. 

nstewart's Avatar nstewart 04:06 PM 01-09-2012

I don't advertise that we EC, but I never shy away from telling people about it if it comes up.  I think partly because I think EC is so darn great that I want other people to know it is a possibility.  If I was shy about it, my cousin wouldn't be ECing her newborn son!  I haven't had any "flack" about it, although I have a few friends who are the insecure type who I down-play it around, because I don't want them to think I'm bragging.  I also don't mention it to moms who are struggling to train their 3 year olds!


What really bugs me is when my mom tells people that I have DS "trained" and then I have to go into a big explanation about the fact that no, I didn't "train" my infant, I am just responding to his needs.  I feel like she is "bragging" and mis-informing and it makes me very uncomfortable.


Honestly, I've gotten way more flack about the fact that I don't believe in sleep training when in "mixed" company.  I have had friends (who did sleep train) get mad at me for implying that they are a bad parent when I explain to another friend (who is considering sleep training their first baby) why they may wish to reconsider.

AnnieA's Avatar AnnieA 04:09 PM 01-11-2012

I tend to take the same approach as nstewart. I downplay it when I am around other parents that I know tend to exhibit insecurities. I do correct DH when he starts telling people that I'm potty-training DD. But mostly people respond to it pretty well and are curious about it and how it works. My mom couldn't believe it the first time she saw DD go pee in her potty. And the older kids already think I've lost my mind with the cloth diapers so putting their baby sister on the potty doesn't elicit much of a response from them! lol.gif

sarahlinda's Avatar sarahlinda 09:01 AM 02-13-2012

I have told a few people but make it clear that it is just "taking him to potty" and not potty training in the conventional sense.  I don't balk away from admitting that yes, it is "training the parent" but quickly add that parents are also trained to feed their children WAY before their children ask for that, too!


People think it's cool that we haven't changed any poopy diapers in over 3 months and personally I think they are quite jealous!

seraf's Avatar seraf 12:13 PM 02-14-2012

I wonder about training the parent comments. My current babe is so vocal about signaling that most of our family recognize when he needs to go. I doubt they're all trained. 

nstewart's Avatar nstewart 12:40 PM 02-15-2012

IMO the only way that EC is "parent training" is if responding to your baby's needs and cues is being "trained".  If so, I am totally "trained"! 


I don't go along with the "training the parent" thing if someone says that is what it sounds like.  I actually tell them that IMO it is communication, not training.  I liken it to knowing when your baby is hungry.  Maybe they just think I'm nut.gif

Tags: Elimination Communication