fostering independence - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 4 Old 10-27-2012, 04:04 AM - Thread Starter
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My DD just turned 18 months and we are out of diapers except at nap and bedtime. Not to say there aren't wet pants and puddles...;) She is great at going when I put her on the toilet, or outside, and especially when we are out she will tell me she has to pee. (even if i think sometimes she just wants to tour people's bathrooms!) She hasn't peed on the potty for many months - went through a stage of really resisting the potty, so I always took her to the toilet or outside. But now I'm feeling the next step is a bit of independence for her and at least making it possible for her to go on her own. I set up a potty station for her but she still doesn't like sitting on the potty, and hasn't peed there yet. We are also going to get a little stool so she can climb up on the toilet herself, though of course that will still happen with me nearby. (our bathroom is upstairs so it's not very easy for her to go on her own)

Any thoughts? I don't want to push her, but I'm also aware that sometimes you get stuck in a "baby" rut, forgetting that your toddler is growing and becoming more capable. Have a hunch independence will come from her deciding to pee on the potty again, and I'd love and suggestions to help that along.


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#2 of 4 Old 10-27-2012, 10:05 AM
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I have yet to try this but maybe during play her favourite doll/stuffed animal could go potty and that might help. I have an almost 19 month old and I'm considering going diaper less at least around the house but she is the same way. Won't initiate but happily pees/poops on the potty when I put her on. The toilet is fairly new to her but she will try if I hold her on and has peed in many public toilets in the last few weeks. She is nowhere near climbing and sitting on a toilet - very cautious girl when it comes to height. I think the potty is the way to go at this age anyways. Does your LO see other toddlers using a potty at all? Mine sees her cousin a couple of times a month and I think that helps. If your LO is in daycare or you take her on playdates with friends/cousins and she sees her peers using the potty, she might be more inclined. HTH. I'd love to stay in touch and talk potty/EC since our girls are so close in age. Most 18ish month olds I know aren't even exposed to it yet.
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#3 of 4 Old 10-29-2012, 04:32 PM
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My DS graduated at just shy of 19 months, and I do agree that fostering independence is important.  However, depending on your toddler, your idea of "independence" and theirs may not be the same. 


With DS, i just started telling him consistently, "If you need to go pee pee, just tell mamma and I will take you pee pee".  After a few weeks of constantly saying this whenever I took him potty (especially if I took him and he refused) or when I thought he might need to go, one day it just "clicked" and that was it, we were done with pee misses.  So, for my DS the "independence" wasn't taking himself, it was him telling me he had to go instead of being taken.


Like your DD he has never liked sitting on a potty.  He uses the toilet with a Prince Lion Heart insert.  He is now 27 months and can climb on and off himself, but he now pees standing up.  Sometimes he'll take himself, but often he wants me to take him even if he can do it himself.


So I guess what worked to foster independence and graduation for my DS was just consistently telling him he could let me know when he wanted to pee (note here that he had never cued for pee, we'd gone on timing and a bit of intuition).  He did not want to use a potty or take himself.


I guess what I'm getting at is that fostering independence is awesome and I think key to acheiving graduation, but that it is important to be open-minded to what your toddler wants and is capable of at that time in order for it to be truly encouraging to them.


Some tips for getting her to use the potty instead of the toilet would be special books or toys for using on the potty, getting her to potty her stuffed animals or dolls (or you pottying them), putting the potty in convenient spots...others might have more tips.  None of them worked for my DS! lol.

N, wife to my goofball K partners.gif and mamma to my EC grad D (July 2010) and my new little love S (May 2013).  Exploring the uncharted territory of tandem nursing with my two boys.

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#4 of 4 Old 10-30-2012, 10:35 AM - Thread Starter
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Thanks both. She had recently shown a lot of interest in taking her stuffed toys and doll to pee (they are peeing all the time! ;)) though so far that hasn't made her happy about the potty. I'm not to bothered about it.

She doesn't see others using the potty, Sky. We live in the country, and friends have older children, the closest being just over 2. Don't think he's started using the potty. Now that I think about it, she just sees me using the toilet, so the potty doesn't feature much. Not sure she could climb on, even with a stool, though she is close to getting off (when I'm slow to help!). 

Thanks nstewart for the reminder that independence can come in different forms, and of course letting me know she has to go would be her independence, and may make more sense at this point. She really is at the stage with her words where she is discover how to tell me things and ask for things so I'll make sure I'm chatting up the "if you need to pee tell Mummy and we will go pee". 

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