diaper free, awareness but no communication and no potty - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 5 Old 07-16-2013, 07:03 PM - Thread Starter
 
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we have been ding some EC since my DD was a month old. We did well until about eight months when she went on a total pottying/cueing/holding to eliminate strike. then around 12 months she was into catching the morning pee, but that was it.

 

Its summer now so she's naked almost all day (and 13 mos). We don't have much success with any elimination going in the potty. we have lots of messes. i am trying to be nonchalant about them all, saying "potty next time" or just nothing. She knows though that poops are a bit of an ordeal because i have to wrangle her and clean her and the floor. She's figured out a pretty good squat so doesn't get too messy. She also always helps me "pat" the cloth to clean up pee. This isn't exactly the association i had in mind.

 

how do i re-orient to the potty? We do some signing, but i haven't seen her do any particular sign when needing to go. We do the poop sign, but are inconsistent with the "toilet' sign for pees. I try to have her sit throughout the day, but she doesn't stay on long and comes off. She'll look in to see if anything is in there, so I know she's kind of got the connection. I put poops into the potty then we take them to our toilet together.

 

If I know for sure she is going to poop, I put her on the potty and she often gets flustered or annoyed and then goes and poops elsewhere...

 

I'm feeling rather discouraged and like I am getting close to cajoling her rather than being in close communication about her needs. I really don't know if I pay close enough attention. But its just her and me all day, so I'm not sure what I'm missing. any help would be great!

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#2 of 5 Old 07-16-2013, 10:32 PM
 
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ugh, that age was really trying for me with both my kids. They get so active and don't want to pause for anything and adding in teething on top of it can make you want to give up =)

 

I used back-up pants when I felt I was getting too stressed about misses - I had a 3-strikes rule where the 3rd miss meant they go back into underwear 'cause we obviously were not communicating well and one or the other of us was too distracted. We also kept potties easily accessible in play areas and got a couple new ones when oldest was that age - he liked the novelty of a new potty. There were a few times that we always used the potty - right after naps was a perfect time, I'd pop them onto the big toilet (with a reducer) and give them a cup of water, they'd take a drink and relax and pee.

 

Basically, I recommend cutting yourself some slack and finding ways to help you be more relaxed about the process. Suss out the easy times for her to use the potty and also those times when she's really too distracted to stop what she's doing and use back-up pants if that's easier. and thank her for helping to clean up any messes she makes ;-)


Robin~ single, work-at-home momma to my WonderBoys
YoungMan (6/00) & LittleBoy (6/04)
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#3 of 5 Old 07-17-2013, 05:38 PM - Thread Starter
 
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that's a good rule and good reminders. After waking up used to work, she's gotten into the habit of wanting a long nurse when waking (like she wakes up too soon sort of) and gets fairly upset about going straight to the potty. but water is a nice addition. We'll keeping trying.

 

New potties and more of them would be a good idea. We have the added element of rural living with an outhouse as our toilet, so i never take her there, but maybe I should. I pretty much always have her along when I go, so maybe she'd like it too.

 

I do try to be positive about cleaning up, and if I do feel frustrated just staying calmly quiet about it.

 

Any tips on getting better about the communication part? Any cues that might be obvious but I am missing (when she was a little one she would pop off the breast) she really just seems to go out of the blue to me.

 

She also hates getting cleaned up after a poop, poops have become this big deal. Want to make the whole thing calmer.
 

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#4 of 5 Old 07-19-2013, 06:26 PM
 
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I say, "Woah! You're peeing! Lets go to the potty! Pee goes in the potty." And we run to the potty together, they sit and we read a book.

One thing about toddlers is that some do better when naked but other feel the breeze on their cheeks and just go, knowing it's easy to move away from. My boys will stay dry for a very long time if they have shorts on but they will per on the floor without.

As for a signal, if you have her run to the potty, she may begin moving toward the potty on her own. My 14 month old plays with the potty when he needs it sometimes. My middle two liked to blow raspberries as a signal and my oldest just looked excitedly at the floor in anticipation of the puddle he would soon get to stomp in.

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#5 of 5 Old 08-13-2013, 08:21 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Did you grab her while peeing? and put her on the potty? I ususally wait for her to finish. this is a good idea, thanks!

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