do some babies not like EC? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 9 Old 03-13-2014, 11:55 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Hi there.  DH and I use EC part time with our 3 month old DD.  First time we gave it a go was when she was 6 weeks old.  We did it sporadically until she woke from a nap once and I thought I'd hold her over the potty to see if that's why she awoke.  She peed and then went back to finish her nap.  We got progressively more into it, to the point of going a whole night with a dry diaper bc of the numerous trips to the big potty, followed by a poop, and then the majority of the day with a dry diaper, again bc of the numerous trips to the big potty. But I had to cut back on nighttime EC for now, as I was not getting any sleep and was miserable.  DD seemed to adjust just fine and we both sleep longer stretches at night now. 

 

However, DH and I noticed that she often cries with real tears as we try to hold her over the potty.  Most of the time, she pees anyway, and I think the crying has to do with her urge to go and not so much where she's going.  But she normally just fusses before having to go or if she went in her diaper and we missed it.  I took a day off EC before resuming again, and I'm trying to figure out if it's the EC, or the way we're doing it, that is making her cry.  I don't want to push her past what she's comfortable with.  That's not why we're practicing EC.  We don't have a goal of early potty independence or anything like that.  She cried when she was wet since day one, and so we just want her to be comfortable and not have to feel the pee against her skin (the majority of her poops we catch in the big potty now).

 

Is it possible that she sometimes doesn't like being held over the toilet?  Could it be the rush of cold air against her skin, especially after sleeping?  Or maybe it's the position in which we hold her?  Or is the crying probably more about her having to go and not the EC itself? 

 

Grateful for any feedback :)


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#2 of 9 Old 03-13-2014, 04:29 PM
 
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Originally Posted by anilorak13ska View Post
 

Is it possible that she sometimes doesn't like being held over the toilet?  Could it be the rush of cold air against her skin, especially after sleeping?  Or maybe it's the position in which we hold her?  Or is the crying probably more about her having to go and not the EC itself? 

 

I'm gonna say it's some of all of the above. Perhaps she wants to nurse right when she wakes up and doesn't want to wait to go potty first? Maybe try using a little potty next to the bed and some way to minimize nakedness (napping in split pants??) so she doesn't get cold. Try different positions, using a top hat potty or even just nursing her right in your lap with an open diaper under her bum. We almost never did holding over the toilet because my kids got too heavy for that (25 lbs by 2 mo) and they rarely opposed sitting on the potty. We live in LosAngeles so cold usually wasn't an issue ;-)

 

Always keep in mind that EC stands for Elimination Communication. It sounds like you've got the right mind-set for it (not thinking of it as early "training"), but it will be easier once you relate to it as the norm for human babies to not soil themselves. Just like babies are born wanting to nurse, they are born wanting to stay clean. We parents just need to figure out the least stressful way to accomplish that =)


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#3 of 9 Old 03-13-2014, 06:30 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks for your feedback, rubelin. Well, the crying is not just upon waking up, and she often fusses to pee after nursing.. but the small potty is worth a try. We were going to wait until we could sit her on it, but that should be soon anyway. Also, I don't suppose split pants work with a backup diaper?

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#4 of 9 Old 03-13-2014, 08:23 PM
 
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oh, yeah, you could put a fitted dipe under the pants and pull it out through the split to potty the babe

 

you can set a baby on the potty even if they can't sit by themselves, you just need to support them. some babies prefer the stability of sitting on something


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#5 of 9 Old 03-14-2014, 05:57 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Pardon my ignorance, but how do you get a diaper back on with split pants on? Sounds likelike it would rouse baby. I've actually started putting DD in just a diaper and long sleeve shirt for the night to make diaper changes as quick as possible (we share the bed). Once she doesn't have to pee at night more than a couple of times, I may try nighttime EC again, so I'm curious about the split pants/diaper set up.

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#6 of 9 Old 03-14-2014, 12:04 PM
 
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ah, yes, unfortunately, they're easier to get off than to put back on, especially at night. Perhaps something like babylegs would be better for nighttime, paired with a long gown on top? We only used split pants during the day but maybe someone else has ideas for easier night time changes. You could also ask on the DiaperFreeBaby group on Facebook.


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#7 of 9 Old 03-20-2014, 05:34 PM
 
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I agree that it could be all of the above. I have had the idea (not tried it yet as I'm still pregnant) of getting a potty chair such as a baby bjorn potty chair, and using the backrest as support probably for my wrists or forearms? so that I can hold my baby from the front and not only protect them from gusts and such but then it makes it possible to nurse them during the act as well. You could try that or find some other way to nurse while you are holding her? And maybe she feels pressured if people are watching her? You could make it a more private thing, turn her facing away from other people etc. I dunno I hope this helps!
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#8 of 9 Old 03-20-2014, 06:15 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks. I ordered the baby bjorn potty chair. I noticed she did better after we took a break from EC for a day, so she may have felt pressured, poor baby, so not our intention. We will see how she likes going on her own potty next week. In my experience, she stops nursing when she has to go, so at least I don't need to try to juggle both holding her over the potty and nursing. Wow, you ladies are talented! :-)
Thanks!

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#9 of 9 Old 03-28-2014, 06:07 PM
 
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Instead of split pants- try legwarmers if you're going to have a diaper on anyways. Rock a Thigh baby has nice ones that are socks as well, although the sizing runs small. The 1-2 years fits snug on our 11 month old (~21 lbs)


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