Great communicator...not so great "pottier" - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 10 Old 03-18-2014, 07:19 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Just thought I'd see if anyone else has a "been there, done that" story. I EC'd my first son. We pretty much hit all the classic stages, had a few frustrations as a new mom and first time ECer but it was a great overall experience and pretty much what I expected. Along comes baby #2. Started EC right away just like I did the first time. It was even easier! This little guy just seemed to get it. We were really dry and clean a lot even though that is just a bonus in the scheme of things. Fast forward to 13 1/2 months. He tells me before or when he is going potty EVERY SINGLE TIME. Yeah! Except he wants NOTHING to do with potties (or sinks, or tubs, or over the ground, or, or, or...). It's been this way for months - really all winter. And actually I'm fine with it. Well, I have to admit it was nice never really having to deal with poopy diapers with my first son :-) But really it's not a big deal. I'm glad he communicates with me about it using sign language and I'm sure we will get along just fine no matter what. But I have been wondering if anyone has ever had this experience and whether it ever changed or not. If so, did you actively try to get it to change or did it just happen? Thanks for any experiences you might be willing to share. 

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#2 of 10 Old 03-26-2014, 08:26 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Well, I guess no one else has "been there, done that." Just in case anyone else ever does encounter this situation I'll update to say that he has suddenly begun using the potty every once in a while. I'm encouraged and see it continuing to get more frequent. I guess some potty pauses just last many months. :-) Keep at it ECers! 

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#3 of 10 Old 03-26-2014, 01:27 PM
 
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Sorry for not replying, but I couldn't recall anything really similar (my youngest is almost 10 now so it's been a long time since I've been in the thick of ECing). It really sounds like a common potty pause to me - which usually ends with a huge jump in independence like you're seeing now :thumb 

 

The best take I've ever heard about potty pauses was from a friend who was a parenting/ECing mentor to me. Here's what she wrote to me on the first EC yahoo group (complete with original typos ;-) ):

 

” I honestly think the whole ‘strike’ thing is a misunderstanding. It makes sense taht babies are hardwired to tell us when they need to pee at birth. BUt once they are up and walking/crawling…..why would they need to tell us they need topee? They know they’re not peeing on MOM, and since the floor should be dirt, soft grass or somethign else natural, why should it be a big deal to pee on it?

 

Because we get uptight about our carpets & babies pick up on that and resent it, doesn’t mean its the baby is unwilling, yk? More like the baby’s genetic programming about how things go is being confounded! Once down on the ground, why, baby must wonder, does momma care if I pee? i’m not peein gon momma, so whats the big deal?

 

I’m sure the more not-uptight you can stay, the better the outcome when learnign to crawl & walk :)"

 

 

It's a frustrating time but it's actually really short in the scheme of things and, having ECed 2 kids who very easily transitioned into independent pottying,  I still prefer it to the alternative.


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#4 of 10 Old 03-26-2014, 07:08 PM
 
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Bump..so interested in joining this conversation soon .
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#5 of 10 Old 03-27-2014, 06:53 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Oh, no worries about the delayed response. Luckily it was more like musing out loud and not really needing any feedback. Just curious. I do love this quote!

 

Quote:

” I honestly think the whole ‘strike’ thing is a misunderstanding. It makes sense taht babies are hardwired to tell us when they need to pee at birth. BUt once they are up and walking/crawling…..why would they need to tell us they need topee? They know they’re not peeing on MOM, and since the floor should be dirt, soft grass or somethign else natural, why should it be a big deal to pee on it?

 

I had never thought about this in quite that way. It makes total sense though.

 

And yes, regardless of how much he uses the potty or when he potties completely independently I would always choose to EC. :-)

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#6 of 10 Old 03-31-2014, 09:07 PM
 
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We're in the middle of a long pause- it's been over a month now. Kiddo won't communicate when he has to go, though.  I'm nervous about it... It's our first time doing EC so there's no comfort of "this happened last time and our kid ended up potty trained just fine..." and I don't know anyone IRL who's done it. It's really hard to go from such success to absolute refusal to use the potty. :(


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#7 of 10 Old 04-02-2014, 10:55 AM
 
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Just wanted to say that I've gone through the same thing with both my boys.  My little guy is almost a year old, and for about 2-3 months was almost NEVER using the potty.  So frustrating.  Then, about 4-5 weeks ago (when he really mastered walking), suddenly he's only having a few wet pants a day!  And he's not telling me when he has to go (neither boy did), I just offer every so often.  I think the crawling/beginning walking stage is the hardest!  They are so busy figuring it all out.  Hang in there.  The day or two before he suddenly was dry again, I was thinking of putting him in diapers, since we had so many wet training pants!  :O

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#8 of 10 Old 04-02-2014, 12:39 PM
 
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Potty pauses are SO frustrating, especially when you're ECing with your first babe. I actually saved all the posts I made on the EC Yahoo group /eGroup during those times and put them onto my website and then later into blog form. I can literally look back at it now and it's a pretty short blip in the scheme of things, but it was crazy-making when we were going through it.

 

And still, the messes caused by having a diaper-free baby were barely noticeable compared to having an inquisitive 2 yr old - who was potty independent by then

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#9 of 10 Old 04-02-2014, 04:34 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by farmer View Post
 

Just wanted to say that I've gone through the same thing with both my boys.  My little guy is almost a year old, and for about 2-3 months was almost NEVER using the potty.  So frustrating.  Then, about 4-5 weeks ago (when he really mastered walking), suddenly he's only having a few wet pants a day!  And he's not telling me when he has to go (neither boy did), I just offer every so often.  I think the crawling/beginning walking stage is the hardest!  They are so busy figuring it all out.  Hang in there.  The day or two before he suddenly was dry again, I was thinking of putting him in diapers, since we had so many wet training pants!  :O

Our baby is too heavy a wetter for me to risk training pants- we get enough leaks with diapers! @_@ Thanks for the perspective, though, it's good to know!

 

Quote:

Originally Posted by rubelin View Post
 

Potty pauses are SO frustrating, especially when you're ECing with your first babe. I actually saved all the posts I made on the EC Yahoo group /eGroup during those times and put them onto my website and then later into blog form. I can literally look back at it now and it's a pretty short blip in the scheme of things, but it was crazy-making when we were going through it.

 

And still, the messes caused by having a diaper-free baby were barely noticeable compared to having an inquisitive 2 yr old - who was potty independent by then

I imagine a lot of things about the baby stage are easier the second time. ANY stage, really! :) For me, a huge frustration is fear that it's my fault, that I did something wrong.


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#10 of 10 Old 04-02-2014, 04:40 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sillysapling View Post
I imagine a lot of things about the baby stage are easier the second time. ANY stage, really! :) For me, a huge frustration is fear that it's my fault, that I did something wrong.

 

I think the "easy" part of doing it the second time around is the trust you get in the process of parenting, knowing that it is NOT about what you're doing and that it would be that way no matter what you did differently, besides, of course, being more relaxed about it all - that always helps in any situation :wink

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