Curious about "fear of pooping" - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 9 Old 08-20-2005, 05:56 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I've never posted here before but I often lurk because I plan to try EC with next baby (due 1/06). So I've been wondering... about pooping...

My dd is 2 and was not EC'd. We are starting potty learning with her and while she's usually happy to pee in the potty, she is pretty freaked out about pooping. Her friends between 2-2.75 yrs are all the same way. I've heard of kids up to age 4 asking for a diaper to poop, even though they feel perfectly comfortable peeing in the potty.

My FIL is a child psychiatrist and says its a normal developmental fear. But I came here to ask around because I'm curious-- IS this something that babies who practice EC from an early age also go through?

It just seems kind of strange that we would have an innate "fear of pooping"...
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#2 of 9 Old 08-20-2005, 06:25 PM
 
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My EC'd dd never went through anything like that. I suspect it's not so much a fear of pooping as just normal difficulty getting used to pooping in a new and different situation. Imagine what it would be like if someone asked you to start pooping in a diaper. Don't you think it might be hard to actually do it, even if you wanted to? For adults, pooping often requires a certain amount of relaxation and a familiar situation, so why should it be any different for toddlers?

That's one of the many reasons EC makes so much sense - kids don't have to learn one way of peeing and pooping and then switch to doing it in a totally different place. They can start using the toilet or potty at such an early age it always feels perfectly natural to them.
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#3 of 9 Old 08-20-2005, 08:04 PM
 
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Some kids just don't like to poop I think, whether they are EC'd or not.

I did EC part-time with dd. She potty trained on her own at 2.5 years. But she never liked pooping. Always cried with the poopy diapers ,but not the pee ones, and when she was near 2,she would start holding it back. She just didn't like the sensation. When she was verbally able to tell me, she would clearly say "I don't like to poop, I don't want to poop."

She would run naked around the house (still does now at age 3 ) and I would know when she had to poop, because she would start to have small pee accidents around the house. Also she would stop, go to a corner, cross her legs and *hold the poop back*. You could see her clenching her butt cheeks.

The only thing I could do was watch for it if we were at home when she was naked. (If she had a diaper on, by the time I got the diaper off, her urge had usually passed.) When I would see her do the "butt clench" I'd pick her up and get her to the potty as quick as I could (I tried to have it nearby on those days), hold her under her legs, with her back against my stomach and help her poop. Usually she would really have to poop by this time so there was very little strain. I would talk to her gently druing the whole thing and say things like "I know you don't like it but the poop wants to come out. Your body is saying to let the poop out. It will be over very soon." And when it was done say something like "We did it, it's over, you're all done pooping. No more poop for now."

But it's only in the last few months that she's gotten used to pooping. Now she'll tell me "Mommy, I have to poop." and run to the bathroom.

So, it will get better!

Loon , dh , dd , and twins ds1 dd2 **Thoughts become things. - Mike Dooley**
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#4 of 9 Old 08-20-2005, 10:56 PM
 
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I know very few kids who were ECed who had poop fears and I've been posting on the big EC yahoo group for 5 years. Usually any poo issues with ECers seemed to stem from a sickness or something that makes it hurt once and made them wary of it, but it's usually a very short phase and there's no freaking out or asking for a diaper. Most of them aren't wearing diapers much anyway, especially by toddlerhood, so they wouldn't think to ask for one

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#5 of 9 Old 08-21-2005, 03:22 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Daffodil
Imagine what it would be like if someone asked you to start pooping in a diaper. Don't you think it might be hard to actually do it, even if you wanted to? For adults, pooping often requires a certain amount of relaxation and a familiar situation, so why should it be any different for toddlers?
That's one of the many reasons EC makes so much sense - kids don't have to learn one way of peeing and pooping and then switch to doing it in a totally different place. They can start using the toilet or potty at such an early age it always feels perfectly natural to them.
Makes so much sense to me. And I think this viewpoint might help convince dh that I'm not a complete kook! I've left the Bauer book around for him to browse but I know he thinks it's a little bit "out there" for him. 'Course I have plenty of time for him to come around...

When I see dd start to poop (sometimes she also hides in a corner or another room), she will tell me "Mommy, I'm NOT pooping now." The only time she tells a lie-- and not a very convincing one!
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#6 of 9 Old 08-21-2005, 04:29 PM
 
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I was not EC'd and I can relate somewhat to your dd Especially since becoming pregnant and researching EC I can see the remnants of how I was toilet trained making problems in my life now. I was taught to hold in my waste which has led to me having quite a few UTIs and now an obnoxious hemmorhoid that really makes me not at all anxious to use the restroom at all since no matter what I have to shove it back up there (sorry everyone...) whenever I go to the bathroom. I eat plenty of fruit, no meat, so the constipation probably resulted from me holding it in when I had to go but wasn't listening to my body tell me I had to since I was taught from the beginning to ignore that voice telling me to go.

Since reading about EC I have started listening to my body more, but I still feel the urge to hold it in and not go because I could do this or that or because I just don't want to. I'm 22... it's been almost 2 decades since my toilet training since I probably started in my late 2s or early 3s. I'm still living with the complications of diaper-training.... not to mention, I wet the bed till I was five :

I'm sorry I have no suggestions since I am expecting my first in November... just wanted to say that I can totally understand and relate to your dd's fears of pooping. Also, the emphasis that poop is given in our society as "dirty" probably doesn't help matters either

Best wishes!

love and peace.

mama to two girls and due in November!
: Circumcision can never be undone :
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#7 of 9 Old 08-21-2005, 04:41 PM
 
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Yah, I think its a normal phase for toddlers. My 2.5 yo is still completely comfortable peeing wherever, but has taken to pooping quietly in another room by himself. When I ask him if he pooped, he says "no, went bye bye." What does that mean? I have no clue :LOL

My whole take on it, is that they are just developing a new sense of self, individuality, awareness...pooping is something we tend to need to do in a qiet relaxing spot (probably biological, can't be doing fight or flight while you're on the pot)...Anyway, not a big deal is what I'm trying to say.

My guy is/was EC'd btw. All kids are different. My oldest, who was not Ec'd was fine with pooping.
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#8 of 9 Old 08-21-2005, 05:20 PM
 
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i think about this issue a lot because i'm around other toddlers and babies a lot who are not EC'd and who are terrified of pooping. wish i knew the answer. my ds (almost 17mthsold) is not at all afraid of pooping. maybe one day in the future? he was, however, afraid to sit on the big potty for a long time and would only go in his little potty. one day, he just wanted to do it in the big potty (on a trainer seat) and that's where he's gone ever since. he says "potty" or "bathroom" when he needs to go.

oh, and dh's come around...mine likes to brag that he hasn't had to change many poopy dipes since we started a year ago. maybe had one 8 months ago! has your dh changed many toddler poops lately? it's incentive, trust me.

Aspiring midwife-mama to 2 beautiful homebirthed boys ages 3 and 6...
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#9 of 9 Old 08-22-2005, 12:06 PM
 
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I've heard that it's common for toddlers to start seeking out a private place to poop. Some kids use the diaper, others remove it. My EC'd 2 year old has started asking for "privacy" when goingpotty. She runs into the bathroom on her own and yells updates on how she's doing, but doesn't want us in there til she needs help. I haven't known any kids who were afraid of pooping, but I'm sure it happens. I've heard of lots of toddlers that simply don't understand what to do on the potty, and I'm glad we've avoided that.
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