http://www.slate.com/id/2128061/nav/tap1/
Points out that the ease associated with living with disposable diapers is generally ease for the mother, and going diaper free is more work heaped on the mom.
It is true that EC requires more attention from the parent, more attachment, etc. That's an interesting cultural point. When are we ready to give up ease for our parenting values?
A lot of the time I do find myself opting for a little TV, some game boy for the kids, something to allow myself ease. I don't beat myself up about it too much. It makes me better able to commit to my child and be a better parent overall. When I have time to myself to recharge, I can be a better mama for my kids. So I guess it's about choices. If someone else finds the choice of EC too demanding and infringing on her ability to give herself graciously as a mother, then she should opt out. For a brand new, inexperienced mother assimilating everything new about being a parent, one more new thing to suss out may just be too much.
I do, however, think the recent articles make it seem more difficult than it needs to be. For an AP parent, it's not that much more of a stretch to try EC. For a mainstream parent, it might be just too much to ask. When a child is in the sling, in arms, in mama's bed... noticing the signals or simply putting the kid on the potty after naps isn't really that much more work -- especially if you have a realistic expectation that you'll "catch" sometimes, and sometimes go weeks with out much success. Articles make it seem like you have to be constantly vigilant. Really, we werent' much like that in my family, and still felt we benefitted from EC. Just the fact that my boy was familiar with the potty over the years, knew where pee came from, never turned off the signal in his head that said, "Hey, I have to go" or "Hey, I'm wet" - these made for a much smoother transition to the potty in the toddler years.
Don't get me wrong, it wasn't perfect. My two year old is diaper free all day and night -- except -- he demands I put him in a cloth diaper when he has to poop. We went long periods of his babyhood using cloth diapers pretty much all the time. After naps and at night time, however we stuck him on the potty routinely. We never stopped putting him on, we always changed him whenever he was even slightly wet -- we kept the conversation alive about elimination so it wasn't a big shocker to him at two when we wanted him to use the potty.
Because really, isn't it even slightly ridiculous to train a kid to pee in his clothing for two years, ignoring bodily sensations and the feeling of wastes against the body, and all of a sudden at two or three ask the kid to do something completely different? Start paying attention to the things we've been asking him to ignore all along? That was a huge struggle with my older son, and the reason I was drawn to EC with my younger. Sometimes in our fast-paced lives we did have to opt for the ease of the diaper. But that only meant telling my younger son, "Yes, you're wet, and we'll change you as soon as we can!" The communication kept happening. With my older son, he could have gone hours in his disposable without ever noticing or caring.
I remember when both my kids were newborn and they would cry at diaper changes, cry when they had to pee. These babies were aware of the sensation. Babies can't say exactly what it is that's irking them, but my kids were definitely aware of some kind of feeling when it was time to go. If we only pay attention to the little ones and help them go on a potty instead of training them to get over it and ignore the feeling, I think it's a good thing. And catching all the time is not the goal. Just keeping the concept alive for kids so it isn't such a drama come age two or three. What the articles miss is that it really doesn't have to be perfect. It can be fun if it's a game or a challenge, enjoying the process of communicating with your baby not striving for the specific goal of training by three -- three weeks or three years!
I hope these recent articles encourage more mamas to follow their instinct and look into EC. I remember my initial shock and disbelief when I first heard about it. Crazy parents! Bizarre! But something kept drawing me back to look into the information available on the internet, browse the books. With the public eye on EC, I think many more mamas will become interested because what we're offering here is just another tool in the parenting toolbox, as oddball as it may seem at first. It's compelling and exciting to make that deep connection with your child.
Hey, this got long, I think I'll put it on my blog!
Points out that the ease associated with living with disposable diapers is generally ease for the mother, and going diaper free is more work heaped on the mom.
It is true that EC requires more attention from the parent, more attachment, etc. That's an interesting cultural point. When are we ready to give up ease for our parenting values?
A lot of the time I do find myself opting for a little TV, some game boy for the kids, something to allow myself ease. I don't beat myself up about it too much. It makes me better able to commit to my child and be a better parent overall. When I have time to myself to recharge, I can be a better mama for my kids. So I guess it's about choices. If someone else finds the choice of EC too demanding and infringing on her ability to give herself graciously as a mother, then she should opt out. For a brand new, inexperienced mother assimilating everything new about being a parent, one more new thing to suss out may just be too much.
I do, however, think the recent articles make it seem more difficult than it needs to be. For an AP parent, it's not that much more of a stretch to try EC. For a mainstream parent, it might be just too much to ask. When a child is in the sling, in arms, in mama's bed... noticing the signals or simply putting the kid on the potty after naps isn't really that much more work -- especially if you have a realistic expectation that you'll "catch" sometimes, and sometimes go weeks with out much success. Articles make it seem like you have to be constantly vigilant. Really, we werent' much like that in my family, and still felt we benefitted from EC. Just the fact that my boy was familiar with the potty over the years, knew where pee came from, never turned off the signal in his head that said, "Hey, I have to go" or "Hey, I'm wet" - these made for a much smoother transition to the potty in the toddler years.
Don't get me wrong, it wasn't perfect. My two year old is diaper free all day and night -- except -- he demands I put him in a cloth diaper when he has to poop. We went long periods of his babyhood using cloth diapers pretty much all the time. After naps and at night time, however we stuck him on the potty routinely. We never stopped putting him on, we always changed him whenever he was even slightly wet -- we kept the conversation alive about elimination so it wasn't a big shocker to him at two when we wanted him to use the potty.
Because really, isn't it even slightly ridiculous to train a kid to pee in his clothing for two years, ignoring bodily sensations and the feeling of wastes against the body, and all of a sudden at two or three ask the kid to do something completely different? Start paying attention to the things we've been asking him to ignore all along? That was a huge struggle with my older son, and the reason I was drawn to EC with my younger. Sometimes in our fast-paced lives we did have to opt for the ease of the diaper. But that only meant telling my younger son, "Yes, you're wet, and we'll change you as soon as we can!" The communication kept happening. With my older son, he could have gone hours in his disposable without ever noticing or caring.
I remember when both my kids were newborn and they would cry at diaper changes, cry when they had to pee. These babies were aware of the sensation. Babies can't say exactly what it is that's irking them, but my kids were definitely aware of some kind of feeling when it was time to go. If we only pay attention to the little ones and help them go on a potty instead of training them to get over it and ignore the feeling, I think it's a good thing. And catching all the time is not the goal. Just keeping the concept alive for kids so it isn't such a drama come age two or three. What the articles miss is that it really doesn't have to be perfect. It can be fun if it's a game or a challenge, enjoying the process of communicating with your baby not striving for the specific goal of training by three -- three weeks or three years!
I hope these recent articles encourage more mamas to follow their instinct and look into EC. I remember my initial shock and disbelief when I first heard about it. Crazy parents! Bizarre! But something kept drawing me back to look into the information available on the internet, browse the books. With the public eye on EC, I think many more mamas will become interested because what we're offering here is just another tool in the parenting toolbox, as oddball as it may seem at first. It's compelling and exciting to make that deep connection with your child.
Hey, this got long, I think I'll put it on my blog!