Ugh! potty pause is making me anxious! - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 16 Old 07-23-2006, 10:38 PM - Thread Starter
 
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We started EC at one month. It was awesome. I finally got inot a great routine of knowing pees were about 45 min. I could tell when poop was coming. We were champs. now DS WILL NOT even let me bend him if we are anywhere near the toilet. I can get him to sit on the little pig if he is distracted with toys or food but is that a good idea isn't he supposed to focus on going? Not that it amtters b/c he has not peed in the potty for probably more than 2 weeks. It is soo frustrating. He sits adn than crawls off only to pee on the floor. Poop we pretty much always catch and he will sit to poop...I don;t know why.
So what;s the longest potty pasue you have heard of? I can't let him pee outside b/c we would get in trouble at our aprtment complex. I just don't know what else to do...I feel like we had all this progress now it's all gone :
somebody reaausre me!

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#2 of 16 Old 07-24-2006, 11:51 AM
 
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THat's a toughy- outside's what saved us when we moved and DS refused the potty.

Have you tried the tub, a different potty? And just for the record- I don't think it's wrong to nurse or let them play with something while they're on the potty. It shouldn't be taken too seriously- they are just little. I know I worry about nursing too much sometimes, but it gets him to sit there, gets the job done and keeps him happy right?? I find it relaxes him just enough that he'll pee if he has to- and that's the goal.

Do you have any warning signs that it's time to pee? I always sign to DS that we're heading to the potty. I also find that if he's hesitant to try to position him before putting him on the potty, then lower him down onto it. Is it possible you're offering too much, or do you know he has to go and he's just plain refusing only to pee on the floor everytime?

Maybe try peeing on the toilet yourself while you hold him on his potty??

ETA: or maybe standing up in the tub?? Our old bathroom had the tub and the toilet next to eachother, so I'd pee while I held DS standing in the tub- that's how we got started and it worked good. even if you don't pee while he's peeing a different position might be good, especially now that he's mobile. Maybe even those training urinals, you could do an internet search for it if you don't know what I'm talking about...they hang off the front of the big potty and allow little guys to pee standing up.

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#3 of 16 Old 07-24-2006, 12:12 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Generally I know he has to go but than I second guess myself b/c he doesn't go...then psss all over the floor. I think he thinks it's funny, too. He gets that mischevious look on his face when he does it. I always say, "Michael pee goes in the potty" and he looks at me and smiles abig ol smile and crawls away. As far as the tub he loves water sooo much that if I put him in there he expects a bath and if he doesn't get ti he wails and cries. (I can't even brush my teeth without him wanting to jump in the sink)
I am looking at those urinals he might like that b/c he does pee standing i the living room anyway. :

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#4 of 16 Old 07-24-2006, 03:51 PM
 
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Originally Posted by hipumpkins
Generally I know he has to go but than I second guess myself b/c he doesn't go
Does he protest to sitting on the potty longer?? Maybe you just need to give him more time?

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#5 of 16 Old 07-24-2006, 03:55 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Oh I would let him all day if he wanted to. He throws his head back often smashing it into my teeth and screams. He is what I call passionate...he is a VERY happy baby until he is angry than he is VERY angry and there is no in between or warning. He's a biter and a head butter also so maybe stuborness is part of the problem.

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#6 of 16 Old 07-24-2006, 04:17 PM
 
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Sorry to ask so many questions, but it would be nice to get this to work for you! And I'll keep throwing out suggestions as long as I can think of them....hopefully mamas who have BTDT will chime in though.

Is he at all verbal? Does he sign? I try to get my guy to sign 'all done' (a flick of the wrists kind of) before we get off the potty every time. whether he's happyily finished, or even if he's freakin' out and arching his back to let me know that he reallydoesn't want to be there I'll take his hands and twist his wrists myself to help him sign it and say "all done?" and take him of only after he's made that gesture (even if it's with my help). I'm doing that in hopes that eventually he'll stop the back arching and being weird on the potty and replace it with just the 'all done' gesture. Sometimes he makes a sound like "AAaaaDaaa!!" and I accept that too.

ETA: That may have been worded wrong. Just to clarify I help him sign calmly and gently even if he's far from...just to help him replace the unwanted beahaviour with an acceptable alternative. I don't grab and twist his wrists roughly or anything, just help with the action of flicking his hands to sign 'finished'.

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#7 of 16 Old 07-24-2006, 06:10 PM
 
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We've been "paused" for a long time here too! At 14 months, he's just got too much else to do. Sometimes the potty works, most times it doesn't. Hardest part is to just take it calmly!!

When all your tricks fail, take a day off!!!! I know, it sounds silly but it's worked for us more than once. Just take a day off, or even 2 or 3. Let him run around, naked if you can, just playing and having fun. Just play, without even attempting to potty or talking about it. You'll probably see a pattern start to emerge of what he's doing before or when he pees, how long he can go now between pottys, etc.

They can hold it longer now (your babe is about the same age as mine), are more interested in other things and really start to assert their own ideas. It changes the timing, signalling and responses. So take a deep breath, maybe take a day or two off and hopefully things will settle into a new routine. You'll probalby find that he's not pottying as often, or with as much success, but even 1 successful potty reinforces the concept and the principal, and it will all make the difference in the end.
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#8 of 16 Old 07-24-2006, 07:19 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Sorry to ask so many questions, but it would be nice to get this to work for you! And I'll keep throwing out suggestions as long as I can think of them....hopefully mamas who have BTDT will chime in though.

Is he at all verbal? Does he sign?
ASk away...I would love to get it worked out as well. He is not verbal and while I show him a sign for potty and have since about 9 mos he has no interst in signing.
Here is great example of what happens:
Just today after feeling more resigned to get this I nursed him on the potty and he peed Hooray!!
Ok so now feeling like we made a bit of progress I tried after his nap. Put him on the potty..tried nursing. Nothing. He crawled off and started to pee. I pikced him up and put him on and of course he stopped. than he stood holdng on to the learning tower and started again...I did not move him but rather put the potty under but in front of him to just catch the pee. HE stopped peeing! he got down adn crawled away than again peed on the carpet! This was in the time frame of less than 10 minutes. :


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but even 1 successful potty reinforces the concept
*breathes* and hopes that's true!

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#9 of 16 Old 07-24-2006, 09:08 PM
 
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Oooh, really it sounds like I'm reading a re-write of our potty attempts for the last few weeks. It's ok. Really, it's ok. They remember, they just aren't interested. And as someone so aptly reminded me recently - EC is for the KID, not the mommy.
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#10 of 16 Old 07-24-2006, 09:55 PM
 
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In your sig you have 2 kids- does he show iany nterest in his brother's peeing? Can ya have a family potty time?? I know ECing's not a 'rewards' kid of thing, but do you thank him for going itn the potty and give a little smile or hug when he does?

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#11 of 16 Old 07-24-2006, 10:29 PM - Thread Starter
 
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does he show iany nterest in his brother's peeing? Can ya have a family potty time??
Yes and no...yes he laughs when anyone is peeing and no b/c the brother is a sister


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but do you thank him for going in the potty and give a little smile or hug when he does?
Oh yes...We all say, "hooray" and even his big sister says, "congratualtions Michael you peed on the potty" and she hugs him
I even show him the pee in the potty and say..."see the pee goes in the potty, Very good michael"

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#12 of 16 Old 07-25-2006, 07:00 AM
 
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lol...sorry about the brother thing, I had already started my reply so couldn't see your sig- I went out on a limb I guess! I had a 50/50 chance right?

Would the whole sinking cheerios thing help?? Puting cheerios in the toilet for him to try to sink while he pees?

Or putting blue dye in the toilet bowl- then when he pees it'll turn green

Or since he loves water offer him a bag full of water with sparkles and fish in it or something??

We've gotta find SOMETHING to work- I'm running out of ideas!

Maybe it's time to take a day off. like the pp said...can he get his diapers off if you diaper him and leave the potty in the corner for him to use on his own accord??

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#13 of 16 Old 07-25-2006, 12:54 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks for all your persistence....I guess we'll tale a break. He isn't at the stage where he cares about cheerios or changing the color (our water is already blue )
thanks again...Hopefully I'll be back soon with a more positive post!

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#14 of 16 Old 07-26-2006, 01:44 AM
 
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Just wanted to send you a hug. This age can be SO hard for EC. One year olds have WAY more interesting stuff to deal with than where their pee goes Just keep offering at the easy times (like right after nap, but let them wake up enough) or when everyone else is going (potty party!) and try new locations, like watering the bushes. Use back-up pants if you need to, or at least give yourself a 3-strikes rule, where after X number of puddles the pants go back on. This gives the babe some freedom but stops you from getting crazy stressed. We started full-time nakey bum at home after a year with our first (ECed from 2 mo) and that's when I started my 3 strikes rule because I realized that after the third mess my patience was gone. With #2 (ECed from birth) I found I didn't need the rule as much, or that I'd put pants on him for a little while, but then let him be naked sooner than I would have with his brother.

Just hang in there, try to stay relaxed and have fun with it!

Robin~ single, work-at-home momma to my WonderBoys
YoungMan (6/00) & LittleBoy (6/04)
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#15 of 16 Old 07-26-2006, 05:06 AM
 
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You know, we moved right after my DD turned a year, And things were so hectic for a while that I just totally gave up ECing for almost two months, even put her in disposables for a few weeks there (collective gasp!), and then when things calmed back down she went right back to it.

My point is that even if you decide to take a long break, I think it's goi ng to be fine. He's GOT it, and from now on out it's all about slowly giving over the process to him, and him takimg total control of it (and everything else too, just wait!).

Do I think that my DD might have been a grad a couple of months earlier without the break? Sure. Does it really matter? Naw. I say totally back off for a while and let him feel like he is more in control, which, of course, he is

"MY best interest?...How can YOU say what MY best interest is?...When I went to YOUR schools, I went to YOUR churches, I went to YOUR institutional learning facilities."-ST
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#16 of 16 Old 07-26-2006, 10:17 AM
 
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Originally Posted by hipumpkins
I can get him to sit on the little pig if he is distracted with toys or food but is that a good idea isn't he supposed to focus on going?
At that age, distraction was the key to EC with my DD. When I wanted to take her to the potty, I found it worked best not to talk about what we were doing, or even give her a chance to think about it much. I'd play some silly little game as I carried her to the potty, hand her something interesting just as I sat her down - anything I could do to get her relaxed and happy so she'd just go ahead and pee. I think protesting the potty can become a habit that competes with the habit of peeing on it.

For us, things started to get easier again around 15 months, and by 18 months EC was going better than ever before.
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