Should I give it a break? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 8 Old 03-30-2003, 02:19 PM - Thread Starter
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Since the one miraculous pee on cue last week, we have had very little success. DD (almost 15 months) naps diaperless and then I take her to the bathroom to pee. Most times she is still waking up and needs to nurse awake, and I sit on the edge of the tub and make the cue sound when she does pee, but this doesn't seem like a huge accomplishment since she doesn't seem that aware of what we are doing. I let her go diaperless at various times during the day, but have very little success in noticing a cue and getting her to go anywhere but the floor. She doesn't like when she gets peed on, and as I am cleaning it up I tell her she peed. She HATES the little potty. Won't even just sit on it to play. It sits on the floor in the bathroom, and normally she needs to inspect everything and anything to amuse herself, but does not go near that potty, even just to play with it.

I almost get the feeling that she doesn't like this "training." She is resistant to me holding her over any receptical, although sometimes she will go. Seems like she might be holding it because she doesn't want to be held, etc.

Should I give it a rest for a week or so and then try again?

Edited to add:
PS I just posted this in Life with a Babe and wonder if it is related?
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#2 of 8 Old 03-30-2003, 03:48 PM
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If EC is stressing you out, I'd say you should definately take a break. Your daughter might also be a bit old for EC...have you checked out the threads about EC and older children? It's possible that EC is just not right for her and that you should hold off until she's ready for 'traditional' toilet training.
Whatever you end up doing, if I were you, I would try to take a break for now. Hopefully some of the mamas with older children will respond to your question too.
Good luck!
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#3 of 8 Old 03-30-2003, 10:11 PM
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DD has been there. What I suggest is to back off all the rest of EC/potty time when she's awake except for right after the morning wake and naps. Do this for a week, then add EC/potty immediate after her main meals (for dd it's 3 meals). If you still have problem, write back.

For me, if dd want to nurse while on the potty, I let her. I get down on my knees (her & potty on one side of me or sometimes in from of me) and bend over for her. Do you understand? : I also want to add is that when dd wakes up, I would nurse her first. If she wets her diaper, it's ok. But right when she's done eating, she will either get up herself or have her eyes wide open with a smile. It is then I will immediate get up and run her to the potty. In the beginning, I will always miss that morning pee, but she will get it in a week or 2. Don't worry about it. After naps, I will tend to rush her to the potty (before nursing) and if she wants to eat, I'll feed her there. But you can also distract your child from nursing by singing songs or reading books (if nursing position is uncomfortable for you).

Also, is your dd teething? I know when dd teething, I have a lot of misses. Don't worry so much about it. Is she sick? Sorry so much questions - just want to understand the situation better.

Good luck and definiately DON'T QUIT ECing! APing and listening to your child's need can start at any age, but it will have to be consistant to have it successful.
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#4 of 8 Old 03-30-2003, 10:52 PM
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I almost always nurse 18 mo dd when I pee her (either over the sink or the the potty).

She is just now beginning to like her potty. Still, I hold her over it, and she just barely touches it.

Oh, and the post-nap pee seems like a big accomplishment to me!
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#5 of 8 Old 03-31-2003, 12:43 AM
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In my experiance with EC'ing late (10 mo). I have to follow my AP instincts first and formost. If my DD is clearly telling me she doesn't want to go, I don't give it another minuite. I take her off the pot and put her diaper back on and it's buisness as usual. I think it's a great thing that your recognising you two need a break. BTW, I've NEVER caught a pee from a cue. I just take her to the pot every now and then
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#6 of 8 Old 03-31-2003, 01:54 AM - Thread Starter
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We are definitely going to take a break. We will see if I can still get some pees after waking (and I have a horrible time doing this right in the morning when she has lots of pees because I am so asleep!). This afternoon I took her to the potty after her nap and even when I started taking her pants down she started to cry. So I got her diaper off, which was wet, and she was still crying so I just held her and took her out. That was that. Later we were taking a shower and I was holding her against me in the same position that I hold her for peeing so that DH could wash her, and she fussed just being in that position.

I feel like I am fighting an infection (not sick, but feel like I have swollen glands), so who knows, she might be too. She has been gettin her molars in. She was bothered by them a few weeks ago and has been better, but the 4th one that was coming in later could be pushing up now and bothering her again. Also, it takes so long for those molars to come in!

We will see what we can do. I don't want to abandon this completely, but I certainly don't want to force something on her that she isn't ready for.
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#7 of 8 Old 03-31-2003, 03:31 AM
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I know my dd will fuss to be in pee pose if she doesn't have to go. And I can completely relate to the morning thing. Dd pees a few times in the morning, I pretty much have the timing of it figured out. But I resign to diapers that I change as soon as she wets them, because, for now anyway, I am too tired to get up and pee her. Plus, we co-sleep, so getting up might wake up her brother too early and blow it for my extra sleep. :

I think whatever we accomplish is just right.
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#8 of 8 Old 03-31-2003, 02:22 PM
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bellee, I'm with you! I don't think my 6.5 month dd makes cues. Or they're really discrete. We thought for a while that she needed to go when her lip quivered, but sometimes it happens bc she's cold (ie, she just woke up and we tore her clothes of and stuck her up on the toilet... I'd quiver too! I try to cuddle her for warmth a bit)
I've been tempted to give up many times bc I think it might be too late. I also get discouraged easy. I usually keep a diaper on her and no cover. If the diaper has been dry for a while, I might take her to the potty. But as soon as I have a miss, I think, "Oh, I mustn;t be in tune today, this is so hard" and just put a cover on her. I do most of the EC after she naps. And some days I am too lazy. I just can't give up on it compeletely, bc as soon as I *think* real hard about her sitting in her pee, I feel bad, and I want to succeed. Some days we catch 2-3 pees, and that's about as good as it gets. And the other day, dh said "wanna potty her?", and I was glad I did bc she had her first semi-solid bm, in the potty!
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