Potty learning young toddlers support thread - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 28 Old 09-08-2006, 02:47 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I just bought a potty for my 16 month old and am hoping to get her using it regularly soon. At this point in time, i'm not 100% committed to getting her out of diapers so i'm not sure if I fit with ECers. I am hoping that a slow, steady approach will make potty learning easier and if I'm lucky she'll be out of diapers earlier but still not til around age 2.

I just started so I'd love to talk to other moms who have done it or are doing it now with young toddlers.
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#2 of 28 Old 09-08-2006, 07:48 PM
 
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I started at 21.5 mo, we finished day and night by 24, would have been earlier, but life interfered. I think that is great you are starting earlier, I wish I would have followed his earlier or really just done ec to start.

What I did was let him go nakey all the time and just start watching him and taking him when he seemed to need to go.

Happily Married to my : 11 yrs- Mama to wild-eyed monkey boy 7-04, fiery little girl 4-07, and the happy smiley baby that sleeps 11-09!
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#3 of 28 Old 09-08-2006, 10:30 PM
 
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Originally Posted by berkeleyp
I just bought a potty for my 16 month old and am hoping to get her using it regularly soon.
Yay for both of you!

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At this point in time, i'm not 100% committed to getting her out of diapers so i'm not sure if I fit with ECers.
You don't have to be 100% committed to getting her out of diapers immediately - just know that the more waterproofing/butt covering there is, the less in tune we tend to be with our babies. So if/when you use diapers, just be aware of that. Know that many, many ECing parents use butt coverings or waterproofing at different points for different reasons along their EC journey. It's just better to remember that if you waterproof them, or put them in something really absorbent, it's as a backup -- not the primary -- receptacle for pee/poop. And depending on what life throws at you, there are times where you might decide you need a vacation from EC, or maybe your child is working on some huge developmental thing and shows you that he/she needs a little break from EC. The important thing is to remember that EC is flexible & adaptable, that the diaper is (in general) a backup if you use them, that naked time will greatly increase you & your child's ability to be in tune with elimination signals, and that if you "fall off the wagon" or need an EC break for whatever reason, you can always hop back on.

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I am hoping that a slow, steady approach will make potty learning easier and if I'm lucky she'll be out of diapers earlier but still not til around age 2.
I think it's fabulous that you're taking this approach - I get so irked by people who think that waiting and waiting and waiting for that their child to just train themselves with no accidents in less than 72 hours, and then they get irritated with their child when that doesn't happen. I'm all for a gradual approach - and you might be surprised by just how much more your child is aware of/capable of when you start down a gradual, EC-like path.

Quote:
I just started so I'd love to talk to other moms who have done it or are doing it now with young toddlers.
Generally speaking, EC is starting w/ babies 0-12 months, but I think sooo much of EC is applicable to ensuring a relaxed experience in potty training your toddler. At any age, you can learn your child's pee/poop frequency, signs (for example, playing with toys and then they get really still all of a sudden, stare off into space, and -- yes, that was a pee!), and most importantly, you can open the lines of communication about pottying at ANY time. This is the BIGGEST thing, the true beauty of EC - that you focus on the *communication* about elimination, NOT on potty training. It just happens that a nice side benefit of this communication focus is earlier dryness, rare poopy diapers, your child is more self-aware of his/her elimination sensations, etc.

Check back in and let us know how it's going - I think it's fantastic that you're doing this, and ECing your 16 month old can be a supremely fun, connected, satisfying experience for both you and your baby. Win - win!
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#4 of 28 Old 09-08-2006, 11:22 PM
 
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Hi, i'll check in. I have a 17mth old DS who is giving me cues (at least I think so ) that he's ready to learn. He often takes his diaper off and pees or poops in the floor. Very annoying, but I'm hoping after enough watching I can know when I need to take him to the potty. I honestly didn't think I'd be tackling this just yet, but would be glad to get him out of diapers early.

Another thing-we bought a potty that is too deep for DS. His legs don't touch the ground when he sits on it. For that reason, he seems resistant to get on it. Any suggestions for a good potty for a shorter tot?
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#5 of 28 Old 09-09-2006, 12:24 AM
 
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I"ll check in too.

Having some sucess with a near 17 month old, started at 15 months. I really like the gentle approach and focus on communication with the EC method. I tried once, for only one day, when she was about 9 months old, but decided it was too hard and quit (why oh why!).

I'm changing fewer and fewer diapers, and that is a definite plus! Not near as much diaper laundry. Just want to let other moms know that it can be done this late in the game. We are not anywhere near graduating, but with the progress DD has made so far, I just know this is going to work.

Looking forward to seeing other mamas in the same boat.
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#6 of 28 Old 09-12-2006, 11:43 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I am so encouraged reading your posts. Glad i'm not alone here.

So it's been about a week. Dd definetely is talking a lot about pooping and peeing and potty which i think is great. When she says potty or poop I usually bring her to the potty but she doesn't usually go. I also bring her when I go and we talk about it. My dh does too he even sits so she can see how she should do it.

So far, she mostly likes to play with her potty. She loves to open and close the lid. One problem is that she can't get on the potty by herself because it is too tall and not very stable (Safety 1st). The one pattern I've noticed is that she always seems to 'go' the moment i turn my back. I get the feeling she doesnt like an audience. Any potty suggestions? Is the Baby bjorn little potty too little? What about the regular baby bjorn?

This morning, after breakfast - I knew she had to poop and she kept saying "poop, potty" so we went into the bathroom. She sat on her potty then on the big potty, then back on her potty etc. Finally, I didn't think she was gonna go. As I was leaving the bathroom, i stepped in poop. Somehow she had squatted down and pooped the one moment I wasn't looking. I was excited that she went but it was frustrating that she went on the floor. The consumer in me thinks I should try a different potty that she'll be able to get on and off easily without help. What do you think? Maybe she just needs more time?
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#7 of 28 Old 09-12-2006, 02:51 PM
 
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I think DS was about this age (15-17 months) when the Baby Bjorn Potty Chair started to work well for him. You could probably still use the Baby Bjorn Little Potty, but in our experience, it was too little to be very useful by the time he was this age.

I think the Baby Bjorn Potty Chair (BBPC) is a really great design - easy to sit on, all smooth surfaces with no sharp or pointy parts, extremely stable, etc. etc. If you can find a BBPC in a store, you can just have your child sit on it fully clothed to see if it looks like a good fit or if it is too tall to be comfortable, but I imagine it would be fine for the age range under discussion. One thing to look out for if you buy a BBPC is that the bowl is easy to remove - when he first started using it, my DS thought that he was supposed to take the bowl off and then sit and pee into the empty hole. As you can imagine, this kind of defeated the purpose, but he eventually understood that he should leave the bowl in place.

The first potty I ever bought was the Safety First potty - it was pretty much the only potty I could find at the time in the stores near me. (When I decided I wanted a BBPC, I had to drive 45 minutes to get one.) I couldn't believe how huge the Safety First potty was, and it was essentially useless to us until DS was about 18 months old. Even now, at 22 months, his feet still dangle a bit when he sits on it, but he has gotten good at getting on and off of it without tipping it over, so at least it's usable now.

Lots of luck to everyone. We started at 10 months, so a little bit earlier than you're talking about, but I really feel like it's never too late to start using EC principles to gently guide your child toward using the potty. We were only able to do EC part-time (DS was diapered when he was with his nanny three days a week), but he still graduated to underwear full-time at 19 months, and he had been in training pants or naked with me at home for a long time before that, so we've definitely saved lots and lots of diapers. But more importantly, he has come to view using the toilet as just something we all do - nothing special, nothing that deserves a reward (or bribe), nothing worth having a power struggle or tantrum about. And when I see my friends' three and four-year-olds still having issues with toilet training, I couldn't be more thankful that I learned about EC when I did and decided to give it a try.

Okay, I'll get off my soapbox now. Best of luck!

Mom to DS1 : 11/2004 and DS2 12/2008; happy to have discovered ECing, co-sleeping, and tandem nursing during our journey together

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#8 of 28 Old 09-13-2006, 10:06 AM
 
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Stay on the soapbox I am right there with you! And the same people find EC offensive, yet have a miserable, horrible time at PT, it doesn't have to be that way! ugghhh

I think it is a good idea to make it a kid friendly potty. That really helped with luke, well that and he was naked. If he had to go he just ran and do it, no help needed from me. Now we are working on doing it with clothes on, so that is our current issue. Seeing as how it is getting cooler here we are going to have to figure this out.

Happily Married to my : 11 yrs- Mama to wild-eyed monkey boy 7-04, fiery little girl 4-07, and the happy smiley baby that sleeps 11-09!
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#9 of 28 Old 09-13-2006, 10:34 AM
 
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Just wanted to offer my support! We started PL with DS at 16 months after he told us he wanted out of his diapers. He was staying dry at his naps, so we decided to give it a try. He was reluctant about the little potty, but seemed to show a lot more interest using a step stool and toilet seat attachment.

I'd say just try out different approaches to see what works best for you and your DC! Best of luck, mama!!
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#10 of 28 Old 09-13-2006, 10:38 AM
 
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I'm in too

I bought my dd a potty chair for her first birthday and set it up in the bathroom. Much to my surprise she took to it right away and enjoyed sitting on it etc. Dd was actually 13 1/2 months when she first peed on her potty, but now at 15 months she is using it regularly before bed for both pees and poops. I am beyond thrilled. My dh is not as consistent with her, but I can usually keep her dry from when I get home from work until she goes to bed. My sitter still hasn't gotten out the potty chair there yet, though I've mentioned it twice in the past week. : I too hope to have her completely diaper free by 24 months. Good luck to everyone

ETA: I purchased a tiny little one piece potty at Target for about $7 and dd can get on and off very easily and she isn't 100% walking yet. I also give her a book while sitting on it too. If she has to poop and I try to remove her she won't let me, so that is fantastic!

Any advice on her putting her hands in it though? LOL She constantly likes to feel down there when she is peeing and I'm trying to stop that with the books etc, but it doesn't always work. I give her TP to play with, but she just shreds that....any advice?
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#11 of 28 Old 09-13-2006, 12:00 PM
 
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DD started showing interest in the potty at abut 14 months. She signed when she wanted her diaper changed, and then she started signing before she actually went, so we would just take her to the potty.

She's 21 months now and pretty much fully potty learned. (Although last night she woke up and said "oh no! mama! PEE!" and peed in her diaper. ) Little by little. We have really tried to follow her lead and not make a big deal out of it either way.
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#12 of 28 Old 09-13-2006, 12:02 PM
 
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Oh, and we have a bigger potty seat -- the kind with a lid and the bowl that you take out to clean, and also the baby bjorn. I think she likes being able to choose where she goes. She often goes on the big toilet, too. Sometimes, if it seems like she has to go, but doesn't want to quit doing what she's doing, I'll bring hte potty over to her and then she will go wherever she is.
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#13 of 28 Old 09-13-2006, 12:33 PM
 
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Does anyone have a link to pottying signs?
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#14 of 28 Old 09-13-2006, 12:39 PM
 
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http://www.aslpro.com/cgi-bin/aslpro/aslpro

This is a good dictionary that we use. Ani still uses "change" from "diaper change."
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#15 of 28 Old 09-13-2006, 09:07 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Do anyone else's little ones get distracted in the bathroom? Dd sits on the potty for 2 seconds then wants to play with the toilet paper and her bath toys or wants to see what's under the sink and then she ends up going on the bathroom floor. I guess it's a start but it is frustrating that she is right there and she'll pee the second i look away but not on the potty.

she is naked and she just peed on the rug at my feet a minute ago.

What words do you use to talk about baby's body parts. This is a big issue for me. I don't like to use "vagina" because that really only refers to a very specific part. My mom always used "labia" but again that is specific. I've never had a word to describe the whole package so to speak that i felt comfortable with. Any ideas? I want to give my daughter a word that is not specific or offensive.
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#16 of 28 Old 09-13-2006, 09:17 PM
 
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Originally Posted by berkeleyp
What words do you use to talk about baby's body parts. This is a big issue for me. I don't like to use "vagina" because that really only refers to a very specific part. My mom always used "labia" but again that is specific. I've never had a word to describe the whole package so to speak that i felt comfortable with. Any ideas? I want to give my daughter a word that is not specific or offensive.
What about "your privates"? I can't say that I'm feeling completely comfortable with vagina and have been calling it her "foofie", though I have a friend whos child called a "gina" (pronounced same as vagina minus the "va") and I thought that was kinda cute and not far from the real name and that as they get a bit older could adapt to pretty easily.
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#17 of 28 Old 09-25-2006, 04:33 PM - Thread Starter
 
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i feel like i'm making progress but very slowly. Dd is more and more telling me right when she goes, but never before. I always change her right away and take her to the potty. I really need some training pants so its easier to bring her to the potty right away and also to catch her little trickles that i don't think she even notices. I'd like to get some thin/pretty trainers for at home when i can't watch her 100% and also some more waterproof ones for at work where i don't have the time to watch her and i really can't have her have accidents on the floor. Any suggestions? I may post about this if I have time in the diapering forum.

How are other mama's doing with this?
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#18 of 28 Old 09-28-2006, 04:16 PM
 
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my son has been waking in the mornings by 6-6am..pulling his diaper of and saying pee the whole time while he tries to get to the potty. he's been doing this for at least 2 months now (he's 20 mos). he's always in the bathroom w/us and shhe his sister use the potty also. i attempted ec at birth w/ him, but the transition to 2 children took over and i let it fall by the wayside. i think he stiil was cognasent of it though b/c by 10 mos he was pulling his bumkins of and peeing whereever he was. besides the morning pee, he has been trying to use the potty or teling me when he's pees since around 15 mos....

not sure where to go from here, as my dd never told me when she needed to go until after 3....though ec'd her and never had a poopy diaper after 8 mos....and dry all night by 15 mos...

ds won't sit on the potty to poo, but will tell me after the fact. also--how can i get him to not wake at 6am..it's exhausting. i try to pee him right before bed around 8 or 9, but i guess all this time in disposables has him not able to hold his pee very long so he can't go the whole night w/o peeing...

perhaps i shall re-read diaper free????
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#19 of 28 Old 09-28-2006, 08:43 PM
 
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Originally Posted by jazminflower View Post
my son has been waking in the mornings by 6-6am..pulling his diaper of and saying pee the whole time while he tries to get to the potty.

also--how can i get him to not wake at 6am..it's exhausting. i try to pee him right before bed around 8 or 9, but i guess all this time in disposables has him not able to hold his pee very long so he can't go the whole night w/o peeing...

perhaps i shall re-read diaper free????
If you think about it, 8 p.m. to 6 a.m. is a long time to sleep without peeing. I know I can't do it and never could - I've always had to get up and pee in the middle of the night. My DS seems to be like me in that regard - he will sometimes sleep dry the entire night if I'm too tired to wake up and help him pee, but I think it's hard for him to hold it that long. So I usually help him pee once during the night (he usually starts squirming around from the discomfort about 3-4 hours after he nurses to sleep).

We co-sleep, so it's easy for me to tell that he needs to go, and I just hold him over the potty that I keep next to my side of the bed. But even if he were sleeping elsewhere, I could probably go in at a set time during the night and help him pee. For instance, last night, I didn't go to bed until 1:30 a.m. (about 3 hours after he went to sleep). Rather than wait for him to start squirming after I was already asleep, I just gently picked him up, held him over the potty, and cued him to pee (we've used the "sss" sound since we started EC when he was 10 months old). He peed a ton and went right back to sleep.

I don't know if helping your son pee in the middle of the night will change his wake-up time, though, or if that's just a function of what time he goes to bed and how much sleep he needs. My DS doesn't go to bed until we do (around 10-11 p.m.), and he wakes up on his own around 8-9 a.m. So it sounds like our boys are both sleeping about 10 hours per night. For me, that means that my son is up all evening and I don't have any "alone time" before going to bed, but I would rather have that than have him waking up in the morning before I'm ready to get up myself. That would make me seriously crabby.

Mom to DS1 : 11/2004 and DS2 12/2008; happy to have discovered ECing, co-sleeping, and tandem nursing during our journey together

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#20 of 28 Old 09-29-2006, 01:19 AM
 
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Hi, everyone! I ordered a potty for DS's first birthday, so we're going to be starting potty learning next week. I know very, very little about the subject, so I'm a little unsure as to how to go about this. My plans for now are just getting DS used to sitting on the potty, and I'm going to keep him naked as much as possible so we can get a feel for his patterns.

I do have one really dumb question, though . . . how do you teach a little boy to pee in the potty? DS can't stand without support for more than a few seconds, and when he pees while sitting, the stream goes straight out like a garden hose. Am I missing something?

A, wife to R and mom to 3 boys: D~ 10/05, J~ 8/07, and B~ 12/09 jumpers.gif

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#21 of 28 Old 09-29-2006, 01:20 AM
 
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Hi - reading this thread with interest. I bought a BBLP a few months ago and my DD just wasn't interested at all. But a few weeks ago I started noticing that she gives very clear signs when she poops and she wakes up dry from some naps - these seem like signs that she is a little more ready to think about the potty.

I haven't been consistent about either looking for her cues or offering the potty. : It's hard for me to remember after 16 months of diapers! I have caught one pee so far, which I was really excited about - she kind of squatted down (with a diaper on and fully clothed) and I said "Wait, Nora, let's go to the potty!" and whisked her to the potty, tore off the diaper, sat her down and - she went! in the potty! not the diaper! But that hasn't been replicated. Often I can tell when she is pooping but it's too late to get her to the potty, and I can't seem to tell *before* she poops in time to get the diaper off and sit her down.

DD is on the petite side so I am wondering if the BB Potty Chair will work better for us than the BBLP or not. I guess we will have to visit the new Babies R Us near us and try it out.

I am not sure how much I want to do as far as the pottying. I just want her to be comfortable with the idea of the potty and to know that it is there in case she wants to sit on it. My mom told me that after having a terrible time potty training me at 2 so I could go to preschool, she just started putting my little sister on the potty several times a day after she was 1, and she potty learned very easily and gently. That sounds really great but I also remember my sister had a lot of "accidents" until she was 4 or 5. I don't want to do this "wrong". I also don't want DD to be in diapers at 3. I really don't. I don't have a problem with others who let their kids decide to ditch diapers when they are ready, but if at all possible I would like to guide the process so that DD is diaper-free sometime before her 3rd birthday (and hopefully a lot sooner).

But I don't want to push her, either. Don't really know what my approach should be, frankly. I'm not the most organized person and I also have carpet so nakey time is not the best idea. Last time we did it she peed twice on the floor, which was hard enough to clean up - the time before that she pooped on the floor and stuck her hands in it and I am NOT eager for that experience again!
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#22 of 28 Old 09-29-2006, 05:40 PM
 
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If you dont want to use naked time, it might work to use a cloth diaper but NO cover... So you'll notice almost immediately she wets. That way you'll notice her peeing patterns. My DD went soon after waking then after 45 mins, twice and so on.... I then started using a cueing sound (in our case it was "ssshh") and sat her on the potty around the times she was due to go, and making the sound. If you catch a couple and make the sound then, she might see a pattern.
For us poos were easy because DD always predictably went right after her early morning nursing.
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#23 of 28 Old 10-03-2006, 03:37 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I understand the reluctance about naked time - I live with my mom and she has really expensive carpets in our living area. Pee isn't too hard to clean but i'm scared I won't always know where it is if i'm not watching and dd doesn't tell me. I just got some cheap gerber training pants (underwear with a little extra padding) and i let her wear those around the house. They catch small piddles and prevent larger ones from really getting all over the floor as long as i notice quickly. Dd usually tells me now cause she seems to hate being wet. I don't worry about poop cause she pretty much always goes after breakfast.

This morning she pooped on the kitchen floor right after i got sick of sitting with her in the bathroom and decided to let her run around naked for a few minutes. She seems to understand that potty is related to poop and pee but isn't making the connection to go to it instead of on the floor.

For those whose babes stay dry all night - do they still nurse at night? Dd nurses all night on and off so she always wakes up really wet. She seems to want to go to the potty and/or be changed around 5 am but i only oblige her sometimes as i am lazy at that time.
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#24 of 28 Old 11-20-2006, 02:20 PM - Thread Starter
 
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After a month or so of being really excited for early potty learning, i got lazy and sort of gaveup on it for about a month. We still have potty in the bathroom but she didn't pee or poop on it for a long time and I don't make much fuss about it - until last night. I let her have some naked time and we talked about the potty. The last few times we've done this, she goes and sits on the potty then ends up peeing on a chair or something.

Last night, she peed and pooped, not at the same time and had no accidents while being naked for about 2 hours. I was so excited. I am hoping to do a few hours of naked time each evening and see how it goes. Her older cousing (2.5) is also getting serious about the potty so I think that may help. I would love her to be out of dipes by 2.

Anyone else out there working to potty learn a younger toddler. My dd is 18months.
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#25 of 28 Old 12-02-2006, 10:23 PM
 
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I just wanted to bump this up. We are wanting to start EC/PLing with our 17 month old DD. She goes nakey bum for a couple hours a day with few accidents, but she will not pee on the potty. She doesn't show any interest in it whatsoever. I think I will get her some fun new books and try to keep her interest for longer periods of time.

Here's a really stupid question...how does your kiddo sit on the regular toilet? We have a potty for DD that the inlaws got us, but it's one of those with lights and sounds, and she knows she can just stick her foot in it to make noise. I'm going to get her a Baby Bjorn one, but I also want to encourage her to pee on the regular potty as well. Should I sit her on it backwards and then sit behind her while we read books?

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#26 of 28 Old 12-04-2006, 02:17 PM
 
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Here's a really stupid question...how does your kiddo sit on the regular toilet? We have a potty for DD that the inlaws got us, but it's one of those with lights and sounds, and she knows she can just stick her foot in it to make noise. I'm going to get her a Baby Bjorn one, but I also want to encourage her to pee on the regular potty as well. Should I sit her on it backwards and then sit behind her while we read books?
Our approach to the big toilet has changed over time. From the time DS was 11 months old, he liked to pee and poop standing up, so I helped him stand on the toilet seat with one foot on either side of the hole, facing the tank. We would put books on top of the toilet tank for him. Later, he started squatting down from that position (I think he figured out that it was easier to poop while squatting). Then he decided it would be okay to sit on the seat itself, still facing the tank, with his feet propped up on the back of the toilet seat - he started doing this when he was about your daughter's age, I think. Since about 22 months, we have had a Baby Bjorn step stool in front of the big toilet, and he has been able to step up on it, turn around, and sit down on the toilet the regular direction, putting his hands behind him on the toilet seat for balance. We don't use a toilet seat insert at all, but I have heard good things about the Baby Bjorn insert. It's pretty expensive, but I hear that it's very secure, unlike the insert we bought (and never use) that slides all over the place.

Mom to DS1 : 11/2004 and DS2 12/2008; happy to have discovered ECing, co-sleeping, and tandem nursing during our journey together

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#27 of 28 Old 12-04-2006, 02:22 PM - Thread Starter
 
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There are several potty inserts that go on top of the regular toilet but have a small opening. My MIL has a Dora the Explorer cusioned potty insert that just sits on top of the regular seat. Dd and her cousin seem to be comfy on it. (too bad it has to have Dora all over it but it works.)
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#28 of 28 Old 12-04-2006, 07:14 PM
 
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Our approach to the big toilet has changed over time. From the time DS was 11 months old, he liked to pee and poop standing up, so I helped him stand on the toilet seat with one foot on either side of the hole, facing the tank. We would put books on top of the toilet tank for him. Later, he started squatting down from that position (I think he figured out that it was easier to poop while squatting). Then he decided it would be okay to sit on the seat itself, still facing the tank, with his feet propped up on the back of the toilet seat - he started doing this when he was about your daughter's age, I think. Since about 22 months, we have had a Baby Bjorn step stool in front of the big toilet, and he has been able to step up on it, turn around, and sit down on the toilet the regular direction, putting his hands behind him on the toilet seat for balance. We don't use a toilet seat insert at all, but I have heard good things about the Baby Bjorn insert. It's pretty expensive, but I hear that it's very secure, unlike the insert we bought (and never use) that slides all over the place.
Thanks for that info! That helps alot

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