desperately seeking midwife - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 11 Old 03-11-2004, 10:31 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Ummm....yeah, I moved to Montana recently, Kalispell area and I am searching for a real midwife. I don't mean to sound picky picky but I want someone preferrably not under 30 for gosh sakes, someone who has actually given birth themselves and someone who will just be an extra pair of hands in case my hubby needs them. I have had two homebirths already and one was unassisted. Anyone? Anyone? Any info would be helpful I'm sure. Thanks gals.
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#2 of 11 Old 03-12-2004, 12:35 AM
 
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Not in Monatana, so I don't know anyone, but this may help.
http://www.birthpartners.com/search/...tates/Montana/

Incidentally, I will be a LM before I am 30, and I've given birth, most likely by the time I am an LM I will have done it at the very least two times. If my timeline works out I should be licensed by age 26. Just saying that because I don't think you should limit your options by age. You might find that a younger midiwfe will be less likely to intervene. not insulting older midwives, but we go through a different education process now. 20 years ago MWs were more like to do unnecessary things because philosophies were different. Anyway, I just don't think you should limit your options right off the bat.
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#3 of 11 Old 03-12-2004, 05:16 AM
 
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no disrespect to the baby midwives out there, but i think i can see where the OP is coming from. there's a big difference between working with a young, energetic, enthusiastic, fresh-faced midwife who has 100 births to her credit... and settling in for a long labor with an almost-granny midwife, with 2 or 3 thousand babies in a town that know she met them first, who has seen it ALL and knows she hasn't seen anything yet!

i really love it that my midwives usually had an apprentice or younger midwife working with them... there's really a sense of the the torch being passed along, and a reining in of the youthful energy while at the same time, the older women watch their apprentices blossoming.

just my 2 cents...

katje
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#4 of 11 Old 03-12-2004, 05:32 PM
 
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Well, my experience was with a MW with 3000+ births under her belt as a full fledged midwife, and an apprentice who was just about to turn out. Both were over 30, but now that the apprentice has her own practice, I would definitely choose her by herself. My the time I'm 30 I will have more births under my belt than many midwives who are 50+, so I think for me it is an age thing. I already run into age discrimination with doula clients. Women over 30 just don't want to be ministered to by 20 somethings I guess. I just wanted to point out that it is good to keep an open mind.
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#5 of 11 Old 03-12-2004, 05:43 PM
 
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THere is something to be said about experience. On the other hand, I have felt like the midwives that are opposed to unassisted birth are the older midwives. I also know that many older midwives were trained in a more medical way, including midwives like Ina May. It was all that was available at the time.

There is something about the internet that has greatly (and I mean GREATLY) improved the quality of midwifery and birth for women and providers. I know that I am a better midwife because of it.
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#6 of 11 Old 03-12-2004, 10:42 PM - Thread Starter
 
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No, of course no offense to younger midwives. Its common sense if at some point there weren't younger ones there would be no older ones. Its my personal preference. I prefer older, wiser, years under the belt. The point is...for me atleast, I can do this myself...I have before. But its my experience and I think a laboring woman should have the opportunity if not any other time in her life than atleast while she's in childbirth to have it all her way, to be pampered and have around her what makes her feel nurtured not what the majority thinks you should stay open minded to. Hey, I'm picky, I love myself and I love my life. I think I love my life because I am picky. I think everyone should be. Heh. Just my thoughts. Thanks for the responses ladies.
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#7 of 11 Old 03-13-2004, 02:05 PM
 
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To Mikesgirl - it's your right to choose the best care provider for you! If that means an older midwife, it's your decision to make. It's the birth of your baby and I agree that you should have it entirely the way you want it to be!
I know many people objected to my choices, but if I had listened to them I might not have had the absolutely perfect (perfect for me, that is) vbac experience I had!

Good luck and congrats!!!!
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#8 of 11 Old 03-13-2004, 02:49 PM
 
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Right on, Stacy. I hope you didn't take offense to my mention of Ina May - it was not meant as a judgement about your choice of birth providers. Please PM me if you want to talk more about it.

The reason why there are so many midwives is because there are so many different families. One midwife prototype cannot possibly meet the needs of these various families.

I think that it's a blessing when people have the luxury of choosing from a variety of midwives to attend their birth. I feel fortunate when people interview as many midwives as they can. Then, I know when they choose me, it's because they want ME as their midwife, and not because they had to settle.

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#9 of 11 Old 03-13-2004, 06:03 PM
 
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I'm sorry, I wasn't really trying to start anything, I was just suggesting an open mind. Not every young MW has little experience, is what I was saying. If life experience is important, or just the comfort that comes with an older woman, that's great. I was just saying I think it works well to keep an open mind.
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#10 of 11 Old 03-14-2004, 11:14 AM
 
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No offense taken, Pam. It wasn't here at MDC that I met with the most opposition to my choice of care providers.
DH and I were just talking about this, when he saw the "childless doula" thread.
Personally, I wanted a midwife who was grandmotherly, one who the doctors would respect if I did have to transfer to the hospital.
And I absolutely agree that my midwives were trained more within the medical model than I would like, but they were still the right choice for me, personally. And that is the reason I want to be a midwife myself, so that I can learn from them what they know about midwifery after so many years of experience, and to take it to the next level.
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#11 of 11 Old 03-17-2004, 01:59 AM
 
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Well, a midwife will never get to a few thousand births without expeiencing her first few hundred.... you gotta start somewhere.
Also, I know of a midwifery practice of two midwifes. One is an older midwife you has been attending birhts for over 30 years, the other one is in her early 30 and has attened about 300 births over the last 7 yeasr.... almost all the clients perfer teh later...
just food for thought.
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