need advice: work and late pregnancy - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 4 Old 08-11-2002, 11:52 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Please help! I need a little help in figuring out whether I'm being unreasonable or not. I'm 34 weeks pregnant, and I work as a phone technician in a wire center where I am responsible for answering 5 phone lines and attending to every technician who calls in from the field (I was moved into this position when I could no longer climb poles or do other physical things outside). This inside job is sometimes very hectic, not only because the phone often rings off the hook, but also because I can be on my feet for 20-45 minutes at a time, have to climb a footstool to reach equipment up high, and have to work with equipment 1/2 an inch off the floor. The stuff near the floor is the most difficult, because my big belly feels very crowded and compressed after squatting that low for 5-15 minutes at a time. On busy days, I end up feeling a lot of pain from doing work near the floor. The baby has been breech for the last few weeks, so that has not helped.
The company I work for has a "disability" policy that pays women their regular wages if they need to take time off for pregnancy/health reasons in the months leading up to their deliveries. Every woman I've talked to in the company has utilized this policy to go out on leave several months in advance. I assumed, from their experience, that I would have no trouble doing the same if need be. So last week, when I found myself weeping in the bathroom because the pain and stress of the job were finally catching up with me, I called my CNM to request that she write a note stating that I shouldn't be at work anymore. She refused, stating that my file indicates that I have had no trouble with my pregancy, and thus no "justifiable" reason to be out on disability.
It is very difficult for me to admit to myself or anyone else that I need a break, or that I'm no longer physically capable of performing a task/job. So it was a big deal for me to even call her, but I was trying to listen to my body and do the right thing. And though I explained this to the midwife, she made me feel as if I was just trying to abuse the disability policy. She treated me, in other words, as if I was just some frivolous thing who wanted to get out of work.
So I've asked coworkers what they said to their doctors/midwives when they went out on disability, 3,4,even 5 months before delivering. The most common thing they reported was saying that "they just didn't feel like working anymore," or didn't "feel up to it." So they rested up peacefully and blissfully for months before giving birth. The only thing I can conclude is that I have a callous, rigid, unfeeling midwife.
So here are my questions, and I'm sorry it's taking so long to get to them: Am I being a big baby? Am I unreasonable to think that I should be able to rest up without pain and major stress for the last few weeks before giving birth? What have other people done in these last few weeks?
And does anyone have any advice for what to do from here? I am considering switching to a more sympathetic midwife or doctor, though I'm not crazy about the idea this late in the game.
Thanks for any feedback anyone can offer.
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#2 of 4 Old 08-12-2002, 04:19 AM
 
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yes, i think you should look into getting another cnm's opinion. first call your current one and ask her again. do you have provider choices? there may be guidelines that your current cnm must follow for the network. where do you live may i ask? do they excuse you from work at anypoint in time like 38 weeks?

and perhaps she did not sense that much distress from you. you sound alot like me, prideful and not a complaining type person plus with phone skills that make you sound sweeter and calmer than you really are. the first time in labor my husband had to grab the phone and explain to the cmns that i sounded calm but was indeed ready to see them, very much in labor. i was unable to verbally convey my actual distress. it's a story he still tells that i find amusing since i thought i was being as clear as i could on the phone. maybe if you see the cnm in person she will be more likely to help you. print out this post and show it to her. maybe you are able to express the details better in writing.

i'm sending you positive vibes to help you get through this. meanwhile, think of the physical labor you have at work as keeping you strong for the labor and preparing you for the work of taking care of the baby. keep your back straight, take a deep breath and keep your upper body strong. at home do pelvic tilts to get that baby to turn.

the last few weeks we all feel large and strange. i think a little work has helped me because waiting for baby to come can get psychologically tiresome a well. sitting around is not peaceful or blissful and hurts too. however it sounds like you could use a break both spiritually and physically. ask the nurse midwife about putting you on light duty or part time just to try it out at least. explain that you need their cooperation so you can be rested. that you want to feel emotionally ready for the baby to come.

and sleep and rest while you can, eat nourishing food and feed your soul. enjoy your time "alone".


let me know how it goes.

casina
pg with 3rd
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#3 of 4 Old 08-12-2002, 08:21 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Casina,
Thank you for your thoughtful reply. You picked right up on where I'm at.
Sorry for the "peaceful and blissful" comment--I'm sure these last few weeks are difficult (though exciting!) for everyone.
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#4 of 4 Old 08-13-2002, 12:43 AM
 
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your apology is not necessary i'm sure you can see i'm a blunt person myself. i merely wanted to let you know that waiting to have a baby is an interesting not necessarily comfortable journey no matter what you are doing. the most important thing is to feel right in your mind. i'm glad you are able to hear your body telling you to slow down.

if i were you i would complain all i could to get the midwife to comply. think of it as sucking in your pride and earning the thousand odd dollars you could use and deserve to have. five hours on the phone seems like a big pain but it would still earn alot of those wages. and if it gets too weird or hard, if you can, i would give up and slow down working anyway. maybe you have a partner that can help you financially. unfortunately this is the one of the biggest issues for all mothers in the states, doing what their instincts say and being able to afford to live. me and my husband chose being low income and being able to breathe over more money but not everyone makes this choice. do what you feel is right and what you can do.

health and happiness to you

casina
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