Bradley type video ?? - Mothering Forums

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Old 09-14-2002, 12:49 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I am 18 weeks pregnant and my husband is unable(unwilling?) to modify his work schedule to attend the bradley classes. He is willing to watch videos and "work with me" on positioning/relaxation techniques etc. (actually his suggestion not mine)

Is there any good videos of the Bradley - type out there ? I figured I would come here before I call the Bradley instructor. Also do you think it would be worthwhile for me to go to Bradley classes alone or would it be a waste of time since there would be no partner.

I checked amazon and they had some Lamaze videos but they got mixed reviews. Help please !!!

edited to add: I am going to a CNM practice. My first birth was a failed induction c-section due to pre-eclampsia at 38 weeks with a generic OB/GYN practice. I did not ever have a contraction, it was the most medicalized birth/induction/section possible, I wound up pretty sick. I am hoping for a non-medicated VBAC if this helps at all with the above dilemma
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Old 09-14-2002, 06:10 PM
 
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Pennys Simkins "comfort measures for childbirth: is a classic, and really great too.. it's like a childbirth class on video" As far as videos with good birhts on them, I like "Gentle Birth Choices" and .. ooh.. I forgot the name of the other one *mind blank* I'll get back to you..
I'd also suggest buying "Birthing from wihtin" by Pam England It's a fantastic book and has some great pain relief exercises. "EAsing Labor pain" is good too.
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Old 09-14-2002, 08:29 PM
 
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Try talking to your local Bradley instructor. She might be able to refer you to class that meets at a better time for your DH. In some circumstances some instructors will even tailor a schedule for you. You never know if you don't ask.

If that doesn't work do you have someone else who might take the class with you? A close friend or sister who could sort of act as your doula? If you take the class I wouldn't be surprised if the instructor was willing to lend you some videos to view with DH, but while the videos are interesting and do help people get used to what they are likely to see on Birth Day they aren't always that instructional, ya know? The actual job of 'coaching' and supporting a birthing woman takes place over hours and is often quiet and subtle, not easy to capture on tape. Will he do some reading? There is a lot of good stuff in some of the Bradley books.
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Old 09-14-2002, 10:02 PM
 
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I agree with the idea of talking to the Bradley instructor (there may be more than one in your area so could be a more convenient time with another instructor) to see if she offers other classes or could refer you to another instructor. When dh and I took Bradley classes (which we LOVED and were definitely the reason we had such great natural births when I am a great big wimp), you could choose between Tuesday nights, Saturday mornings or Saturday afternoons. And if you missed one, you could make it up in another class that week.
Yes, I think that taking Bradley classes - even without your husband - would be very, very helpful! Bradley is husband coached childbirth but it is so much more than that! My dh was a wonderful coach but we also learned so much about how to eat and exercise while pregnant to avoid some of the complications you mentioned with your first pregnancy. A CNM (at a hospital) is better than an OB (IMO) but is still stuck with hospital rules/policy/etc. so it would serve you well to be informed by someone not connected with the hospital - namely a Bradley instructor.
I wonder if more calm, rational discussion between you and your husband would help? Do you think he may reconsider if you go ahead and register to go alone? Are the classes actually during his work time or does he go out of town some for work? You can make up classes or go alone sometimes if his work has to intervene but I think that going alone or with a friend would be better than not going at all. In our class, there was one mom who came with a family friend as her husband was in drug rehab - another mom who once brought her sister as dh had to work - another who lived very far away (ferry ride!) and occasionally came alone. Bradley classes are usually full of fairly alternative types (dh and I stood out like a sore thumb) so I don't think anyone would think it too strange if you came without him sometimes.
Good luck!
Kirsten
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Old 09-15-2002, 12:21 AM
 
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Hi Kirsten~ don't forget that Daddies like to make that $ to support their familes & maybe he is prioritizing that bcz it is his way of saying what he does away from the family is important to the family. Or maybe he is sheltering himself from his fear of seeing you go thru another difficult situation. just a couple things that came to mind while reading your post. I hear you saying that he wants to be a part of this, but on his own terms.
hope I'm not being too nosey, you didnt really ask for this kind of observation!
blessings on your birthing journey, Maria
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Old 09-15-2002, 09:22 AM - Thread Starter
 
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My husband is a workaholic and gets up at 5 am to get to work and doesn't get home until 7:30 pm -monday through friday and he works on Saturday until 1 pm too. part of it is due to an hour long commute. He may be willing to try to leave early once a month but certainly not every week. He just *can't* do it. He is the site manager of an enormous manufacturing plant and he is responsible for the day to day issues. He's not just being a turd about it altho I wish he would do it with me. The fact that he initiated the whole video thing and offered to wake up early on Saturdays or do it 3 nights a week after my ds is in bed is a huge thing for him and shows his interest to me. Anyway - the other more pressing issue is really my ds - no babysitter and there is no way I would bring him to a class. He is too "Busy". We don't have family close by and my IL's just left for Florida for the winter. We are really stuck !!

I am an ICU nurse (well I was before becoming a SAHM) - I know the whole medical half of childbirth, I have educated myself after my first birth experience on the whole conundrum of epidurals, fetal monitoring, birthing in the hospital, blah blah blah. I have been researching homebirth etc for 2 years. I feel like I am pretty educated on the hazards of a medicalized birth and feel prepared from an "educational" standpoint to deal with them. I have the "Birth the Bradley Way" book and the Birthing from Within book. I read Spiritual Midwifery and have browsed a ton of others. I understand the dynamics of childbirth, and that genre of the childbirth process. I understand the general principles they advocate. I have read them both cover to cover (Bradley and Birthing - as a preparation type thing) - I have no problem refusing medical intervention (NOW) that I feel is not necessary, I am an aggressive patient, I know for the most part about birth choices and I have talked to many alternative types that have birthed at this hospital and pretty much know what to expect and where my fights will be so that part of Bradley I will be okay without for the most part. I can teach my husband how to say no LOL. I really need the exercises/relaxation part. I need to learn how to find myself and find a way to deal with the labor. I am very type A LOL. But I am not afraid. YAY! Anyway - I will talk to the Bradley instructor but the classes as a couple just will not work. I am going to try and find a doula though. I think that will be a big help in helping DH who is the nervous type

Thanks ladies
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Old 09-15-2002, 11:31 AM
 
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Hi Julie~
sounds like you will have a terrific experience this time around. Doesn't knowlege feel good? I just want to recommend "Birthing From Within" by Pam England. It has a wonderful perspective on the emotional components & great ideas.
have a wonderful time on your birthing journey, Maria
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