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Advice on upcoming birth

549 views 8 replies 5 participants last post by  mamato3cherubs 
#1 ·
Hi, I am new to the community and want to say that it is great and very informative. I am currently pregnant with our third child. I am due on April 18, but am gathering information now. I had two bad birth experiences before, I will put those stories below. I would like some suggestions on how to prevent such a horrible experience again. I stall out at 2cm, and the last time, I don't know if it was the pitocin, or the fact that I had had mild displasia after my daughter and had laser surgery on it, but it was horrible, one contraction on top of the other and every one thought I would be farther along, but was still only at a 2. I am hoping to recieve some wisdom from other mothers and midwifes or any one who might be able to help. I plan on laboring for as long as possible at home this time, but it is not possible for me to have a home birth for many reasons. Below are both of my birth stories, I hope this helps you with any advice you can give, thank you in advance for any insite. Thank you.

Raelyn's Birth story

A little history on the pregnancy to start: Starting at about 12 weeks I bled on and off for no "apparent" reason. I was put on bed rest for 48 hours the first time, then a week the second time. On Feb 26, 2001 I woke up with a sudden gush of blood, went straight to labor and delivery and had an ultrasound that determined that my placenta had partially torn from my uterine wall and that was why I had bled (thank god for the bleeding or we may have never known). I was admitted for observation over night and with no additional bleeding was determined fit to go home, but put on bed rest for the remainder of the pregnancy; my due date was June 22nd. I had great doctors and a great midwife and hospital. Other than that I had no additional complications throughout my pregnancy.

Due date June 22nd

At 6:30 started feeling contractions that were about 10 min apart, not intense. I labored at home through the night and felt that they were getting closer together if not more intense so decided to go into L&D because of the placenta to be checked. Was still 2cm (had been for two weeks), and they said it was early labor, took a urine sample, but never ran it to the lab, and sent me home. I slept through the night at home waking up with every contraction. The next after noon they were coming about 5 min apart and I was feeling very comfortable with the fact that I was in labor, but nervous about bleeding with the placenta, they once again sent me home with instructions to do nipple stimulation to get them moving since I was still at 2cm. About 48 hours into labor I started moaning loudly (scared husband) and puking, they told me to come in immediately (hello I just left there 3 hours ago, but ok). They checked and I was STILL 2cm.They finally ran a urine culture and determined I was dehydrated, they set me up with a bag a fluids and told me I would be spending the night. They checked me 45 min later and I was 5cm. From their labor was progressing steadily. I had Demerol for the pain and to help me get some rest since I was exhausted after 48 hours of labor and barley any sleep. I slept in between contractions and (from what my mom, aunt and husband say) actually started a contraction before I rolled over and my eyes popped open. I laid on my side after every contraction was done, but always rolled to my back during one. At about 645 am they checked and I was 10 cm with a lip, but the nurse told me to push and it would help the lip go away. I told them that I would not push till my midwife was there because I KNEW it was going to go fast. The nurse and my mom told me that it would not happen that fast because I was a first time mother. I said ok, and pushed……. My daughter immediately crowned and the nurse took a deep breath and left the room shutting my door for the first time that night and we all heard her scream "where the *BLEEP* is Johann". From then all it is basically a blur, I was trying not to push because quite frankly I didn't feel that my mom or aunt and definitely not my husband were ready to catch my daughter. I just rested since at that point the contractions had stalled. After getting me into position (had to move the bed to make room for the heater and other things needed for stage two) they had me start pushing a little, this was at about 7am, as I was pushing I could see them looking to the door for my midwife, and when she got there she threw everything to the nurse and ran into my room. My daughters head was moving out a bit with every push, but went back in after. Johann assessed the situation and decided to do an episiotomy, but upon looking closer realized that my daughter was so far out there was no room to safely do one. She took a deep breath and told me to push. My daughter was stuck, but I pushed and pushed. The "ring of fire" is nothing compared to what I felt, I started screaming, and every one tried telling me to stop until Johann looked at them and shook her head, I vaguely saw this and wondered why, but I knew after. Once her head was out it only took one push to deliver the rest of her body, and she was taken right away to be suctioned out and given o2 because there was maconium and from being stuck she was a little past blue. I tore in three places, my perineum, and around my urethra. The midwife wouldn't even tell me how many stitches I had. I finally got to see her for a min, but did not get to hold her because once my placenta was out I started hemorrhaging (my placenta was twice the normal size and they said I has clotted from the tearing early in pregnancy and the birthing of the placenta had disturbed the clot) so they had to give me meds and get me stable before I could hold the baby. When my husband came back with her from getting weighed and measured the look on his face and the nurses was shock. They expected about a 7lb baby, my daughter was 8lbs 15oz, 22 in long. So all in all I had about a 60 hour labor experience. She was healthy as was I; I didn't hemorrhage enough to be given a transfusion thankfully.

Jeffrey's birth story

I was one day away from being 38 weeks. We let my daughter spend the night at the friends that were keeping her for us so we could relax and have one last night together. We made love, snuggled, watched a movie on the laptop in our bedroom snuggled together on the bed. And got some rest. I was up by 9am that morning. We ate a muffin and relaxed in front of the computer playing games. I was sitting in a chair next to the computer while he played games, and he asked if I could get him a muffin and something to drink, I got up to get them and felt a pop, and instantly was soaked. We checked the fluid and it was clear, so we didn't worry too much at first, we hung around to make sure it had really broken, had thought it had a few days before but was told it wasn't my bag of waters. So when we knew it was for sure we called the family and let them know. This was the morning of July 13th. I went into the hospital and was immediately admitted. I had planed to labor at home some if my water broke until I found out I was GBS+. We got there and they let us be in the room alone for about 6 hours (came to check my blood pressure ect. a few times, I also had an IV of antibiotics). The doctor came in and told me that they had to give me pitocin because I was not having any regular contractions, I got upset because I was so against pitocin, but knew they would do a c section if he wasn't born with in 24 hours of my bag of waters rupturing. I made sure they started with a really low dose as I was totally against the epidural. My husband went home to eat (didn't want him eating in front of me since I had had nothing except a muffin all day). While he was home they came in to increase the dosage of pitocin I was getting, within five min I was in so much pain I thought I was splitting in half, I was on the phone with my mom when that first contraction hit me like a ton of bricks. I immediately got off the phone with her and called my husband up, when he answered the phone I was in tears. I told him to get there NOW. He got there as soon as possible, about ten min, and immediately knew I was in intense pain. I did what I could breathing wise for them, but nothing helped. I was just glad that I had some form of break, they were pretty much one on top of the other, but compared to the pain at the peak it felt like a major break. Eventually as my body got used to the pitocin they dwindled down and the nurses would come in and up it again. I did unmediated labor with pitocin for about 6 hours before I finally begged for something. They wouldn't let me up, they wouldn't let me move, and I had to lie on my back in such pain. I don't know if moving would have helped because I wasn't allowed to, but I wanted to do what I wanted during my labor and was very upset by this. I was still only 2cm after 6hrs of pitocin and it was decided that I needed internal monitoring to see how intense the contractions really were (like I couldn't tell them). I was so upset by this because I felt like my labor was not my own and everything was being invaded. They gave me something else for pain sense the first thing didn't work, that again did not help, but I labored with those just making me groggy and not helping with the pain till about 5am. They came in and checked me a little after five and determined I was still at 2cm and not progressing so they were going to start setting up for a c section. My husband and I talked about that after they left and decided since I was so close to having a c section and would be given an epidural at that point any ways that we might as well go ahead and have one then so I could rest a little. He went out to let the nurses know and noticed they had already set up for it and everything was ready and waiting right outside my door. At about 530 am they came in to set up for the epidural and give it to me. I barley remember sitting up to get it let alone getting it. (The rest is a little groggy but my husband has told me the timing) They got me settled after the epidural and changed the pad under me and after getting me "comfortable" they decided to check me (thank god), the nurse looked at me and said "I can't find your cervix", being the wise *** I am I told her she better because I had it when I was born and when I got here so she better not have lost it, lol. My husband just busted up and she didn't find it the least bit funny. I went from two to ten cm dialated from the time they did the epidural to the time it took them to get me comfortable. She told me to push and I told her no, that they had to set up before I could, they didn't even have the warmer on, but she told me to go ahead, and being as doped up as I was I didn't fight her even though I knew I should have, I pushed and she went running (déjà vu) to set every thing up and get the doctor. At that point my body just took over and was pushing on its own, and I remember trying to cross my legs and keep the baby in till everything was set up for him, but couldn't . They came in and broke down the bed and the doctor sat down and put his scrubs and was putting his gloves on as he turned to catch my son. He was born at exactly 6am on the 14th. I started yelling at them to put him on my stomach, nothing else had gone the way I wanted; I was going to have this. They put him there and made the comment that he had voided on me, I looked at them and asked them if I cared. I had been sitting there since the previous morning in my own amniotic fluid; I didn't think I could feel any more icky than that. They took him to get his stats and everything. After that they brought him to me and he immediately latched on and nursed like a pro. I was tired because of the meds so my husband took him and spent some time with him while I slept. A little while later an aid (not even a nurse) determined that he was having trouble breathing, she whisked him away (my husband went with). About an hour later they came back and she was quite embarrassed. She determined he was having trouble breathing because he was grunting and his face was scrunched up, she got him to the nursery and they laughed at her because he wasn't having trouble breathing, but trying to pass some meconium. I was upset at that, glad that she had thought ahead, but upset that an aid was allowed to determine he was having trouble breathing and Wisk him away. She was only there to clean in the first place. He did not leave my side after that.
 
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#2 ·
Cari,
Congratulations on your pregnancy! Your birth stories are amazing-- thank you for sharing them with us! It definitely sounds to me like you have had scar tissue on your cervix from the laser procedure, which caused your cervix to resist opening, despite very intense contractions. Many women with scar tissue experience very similar labors, with intense contractions coming one on top of the other with little or no dilation for a long time, and then *poof*, dilating all at once, once that scar tissue has been broken down. Since this is your third, you may find that it doesn't take as long to get to that *poof* stage this time! I know that it can be very discouraging, though, to keep being checked, only to find that your dilation hasn't changed despite intense contractions. A good way to think of it, this time, is that your dilation won't happen in a linear way-- you will have a normal amount of contractions (whatever *normal* is, of course
), but the actual dilation won't happen in a slow, spread out kind of way, but rather all at once at the end. This will probably feel less upsetting to you if you can manage to not have your cervix checked frequently-- that way, you will just be able to reassure yourself (and your partner and maybe doula will be able to reassure you as well) that you are making progress, without anyone giving you depressing news after a cervical check. If you can find a supportive midwife who understands what happened in your previous births and can just stay with you the whole time (usually a midwife in independent, rather than a big hospital-based practice can do this, even if you're birthing in the hospital), will be willing to forgo cervical checks and just let you do what feels right. You don't even need anyone to tell you when you're 10 cm-- just push when/if you feel like it, and follow your body. Many times women whose babies come as quickly as yours do when you DO push, find that they never even need to PUSH at all.

So, I'd recommend finding a good independent midwife, and a good doula, and trying to avoid induction this time if at all possible, so that you can just follow your body. Your body clearly knows how to birth babies, so have faith in yourself and your baby above all else!


BEst of luck, and congratulations again!

Yours,
Wendy, CD(DONA)
 
#3 ·
Dunno, but I'd probably wait quite a while if this time your water breaks before the onset of labor. Do stuff like nipple stimulation, drink red raspberrry leaf tea, have sex to get labor going, rather than going in, as they'll just start the interventions! Then when you do go in, I'd be a little reluctant to tell them that I KNEW my water broke, this may give you a little more "time on the clock..." although being group b strep positive... Sounds to me like your body knows what to do, the hospital just gets in the way!

Also, I would suggest hypnobirthing. It really enables one to relax through the contractions, which (especially with pitocin contractions, as strong as they can be) may allow you to have a shorter labor.

Happy birthing!
 
#4 ·
Thank you for the reply's, I was thinking that it may be scar tissue as well since the first midwife I saw said my cervix looked red (two years after) and that it probably hadn't totally healed and ever sense intercourse is painful. I will see if this time they can put it in my chart that its a possibility. Would I still have scar tissue even though I have had a baby sense? I am going to ask them about getting the midwife of my choice, but don't know. Unfortunantly I am at the mercy of the US Army because I am a spouse, I can elect to go off post, but then I pay full amount. I have been looking into doula's, but have only found one in my area. I am going to try laboring at home as long as possible. I have an excersise ball and was wondering if I could use that as a birthing ball, and I was thinking of getting a pool to put in my bedroom during labor since my tub is WAY to small to labor in. I don't think I will even be able to get into it come the end of my labor, and isn't comfy at all. I was thinking of trying the hypnobabies CD that I read alot about. When should I start listening to it? What do I have to do to prepare for hypnobirthing? Thanks in advance.
 
#5 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by Wendyesm
So, I'd recommend finding a good independent midwife, and a good doula, and trying to avoid induction this time if at all possible, so that you can just follow your body. Your body clearly knows how to birth babies, so have faith in yourself and your baby above all else!


BEst of luck, and congratulations again!

Yours,
Wendy, CD(DONA)
I agree with what wendy said here. I am not a professional, but I have to say that all the interventions of the hospital probably had everything to do with you having such un happy births. Maybe you should look into a birth center type setting with a good midwife who is willing to let you birth the way you want to.
Also, be sure to make your cargiver RETEST you for GBS. I was + with my 1st and 2nd babies but - with my 3rd!

Suggestions? Um, educate yourself!! read, read, there are tons of really good natural books out there that can help you to understand exactly what is happening at all stages of labor and ways of coping with different situations. Also consider hiring a doula, someone who can help you to have a say in what you want to happen. be sure that your caregiver(midwife/OB) knows how you want your birht to go and about the trouble you had in the past. Just because you had trouble before does not mean they will happen again.

Keep postive and consider your choice of delivery places. If you can, go to several hopitals and try to find people who have true stories about there experiences. You may even find this info online. And dont rule out birth centers in your search, I havnt seen you mention any risk factors that I would think to be too much for a birth center delivery. You may actually have a much better experience that way.

Good luck in your journey and may it be a wonderful one!
 
#6 ·
I am hoping to have a positive birth experiance. Unfortunantly we do not have a "care provider", we have a whole clinic full of care providers. I don't know exactly how many, but there is enough I could see a different one each app and still not have seen them all. The only way I can go to a different hospital is by making sure I am at least 100 miles away when I go into labor, and then unless its early its going to be ovious. I have looked into my "options" as the military sees them and I would have to pay out of pocket, and we don't get payed that much. I am going to talk to them about what their policies are because I didn't know them last time because I ended up going in before I had the tour and it was my first time in this hospital. I have been reading alot and have a few books that I want to read, but haven't gotten them yet.
 
#7 ·
If you have no control over your birth attendant, then you really can only stay home as long as possible so they can't "do" anything except catch the baby. Of course, with labors like yours with intense contrax from the beginning and then the baby coming all of a sudden, that could be hard to do, just with knowing when to actually go. Maybe you could find a direct entry midwife (www.mana.org) who might be able to attend your birth at home as a labor support person who would also be able to check your cervix, so that you would know how far along you were? Many midwives are willing to work out reasonable payment plans or sliding scales, especially if you contact them for labor support and plan to get your prenatal care primarily with the docs and actually birth in the hospital. Maybe I'm being unclear, but what I mean is: many homebirth midwives will also work as doulas or labor support people. If you were able to hire one (again-- sliding scale/ payment plan possibility?), she could come to your home and help you labor there as long as possible and ALSO maybe check your cervix so that you would know when to go to the hospital in order to just arrive in time.... Not sure if you'd be able to find a midwife willing to do this for you, but it's worth a try!

Best of luck to you!
Wendy
 
#8 ·
Wow, you've been through a LOT birthing your babies! What stands out to me the most in your experiences, is how fast the babies come when you are fully dilated. This needs to be made beyond perfectly clear to anyone and everyone who will be attending you. None of this "Don't push" crap..."we aren't set up". Tell them they need to be set up long before you are fully dilated because once you are...they won't have time! Maybe at least that will help solve some of the crowning/birth chaos you've had before. Have you written up a birth plan in the past? I don't know how well they go over in military hospitals, but at the very least, everyone needs to know how fast you get those babies out in the end! And if they can't get their heads screwed on straight...get your hands down there and catch the baby yourself!
Or have your hubby stash a pair of gloves in his pocket and tell him to be on guard!

I wish I had more and better advice to you...best of luck with baby #3!
 
#9 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by Wendyesm
If you have no control over your birth attendant, then you really can only stay home as long as possible so they can't "do" anything except catch the baby. Of course, with labors like yours with intense contrax from the beginning and then the baby coming all of a sudden, that could be hard to do, just with knowing when to actually go. Maybe you could find a direct entry midwife (www.mana.org) who might be able to attend your birth at home as a labor support person who would also be able to check your cervix, so that you would know how far along you were? Many midwives are willing to work out reasonable payment plans or sliding scales, especially if you contact them for labor support and plan to get your prenatal care primarily with the docs and actually birth in the hospital. Maybe I'm being unclear, but what I mean is: many homebirth midwives will also work as doulas or labor support people. If you were able to hire one (again-- sliding scale/ payment plan possibility?), she could come to your home and help you labor there as long as possible and ALSO maybe check your cervix so that you would know when to go to the hospital in order to just arrive in time.... Not sure if you'd be able to find a midwife willing to do this for you, but it's worth a try!

Best of luck to you!
Wendy
I know this is a long quote, but I really think she is on the right track. You may even beable to find a trained Doula that is schooling to become a midwife that could help youwith this. when I posted before I was typing the same time you were and I did not know yet that you were in a military situation.
If it were me I would read and prepare for laboring at home, with a doula or midwife if at all posible and just in case make sure you have both studied on emergency home delivery, just in case things go way! to fast
 
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