I don't want an apprentice there- question for midwives - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
Reply
 
Thread Tools
#1 of 52 Old 06-07-2006, 04:22 PM - Thread Starter
 
huggerwocky's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Posts: 5,544
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I just found out that my likely to be midwife has an apprentice, the apprentice mailed me to reschedule the interview/check up appointment. I want as few people as possible there for the birth and will tell her that I don't think I'll be comfortable with another person there.

Would that be a reason for you to not take a client?

It's nothing personal, from what I can tell she sounds as nice as the midwife.
huggerwocky is offline  
#2 of 52 Old 06-07-2006, 05:01 PM
 
pamamidwife's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Oregon
Posts: 7,639
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
I would give her a few visits to see what she's like. There are times I make exceptions to having my assistant there, but I really like to have another person. Sometimes I've had clients say they'd rather not have the apprentice do any clinical stuff for their labor/birth, and that's ok. I've also had clients say they don't care for the apprentice and I've gotten others lined up for them to choose from.

Being honest is key, but I'd give some time to see how all of your personalities mesh. You never know - you could end up liking the apprentice more than the midwife!
pamamidwife is offline  
#3 of 52 Old 06-07-2006, 07:00 PM
 
Charmie981's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2002
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 4,391
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
As a midwife, I agree with Pam. It's nice to have an assistant at a birth so that you don't end up asking family to do something (because you need extra hands) when they should just be enjoying the moment.

Also, and please don't take offense at this, the apprentice is part of the practice to gain experience. There's something for her to learn from your birth even if she sits in the corner the whole time.

As a client who truly believes in the midwifery model of care and wants it to be available to as many women as possible, I am VERY okay with an apprentice being there (and catching my baby, or doing whatever my midwife deems her capable of doing). If I didn't mesh with the apprentice personality-wise, that'd be different, but as long as I get along with her, I want her to have the priveledge of learning from my NORMAL birth .

Charlotte, midwife to some awesome women, wife to Jason, and no longer a mama to all boys S reading.gif('01), A nut.gif ('03) S lol.gif ('08) and L love.gif ('10).
Charmie981 is offline  
#4 of 52 Old 06-07-2006, 07:17 PM
 
dynamicdoula's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Kitsap County, WA
Posts: 2,339
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Also, and please don't take offense at this, the apprentice is part of the practice to gain experience. There's something for her to learn from your birth even if she sits in the corner the whole time.
No offense Charmie, but if a doctor threw me this line after I'd declined med students witnessing my birth, I'd be pretty ticked. There are always other clients/patients who will consent to more people in the room (I'm one of them! Bring your friends! Potluck! LOL), it is unfair to pressure a client into consenting to extra people just because they're in training. Not the mama's problem!

Kristina in Kitsap County, WA
Doula, Student Midwife, Mama, Wife & More
http://redspiral.blogspot.com
dynamicdoula is offline  
#5 of 52 Old 06-07-2006, 07:46 PM
 
Charmie981's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2002
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 4,391
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Yes, but med students would probably have been a little less sensitive than an apprentice midwife. I have an "consent for apprenticeship care" form (or something like that) that each of my clients sign. It basically says that I love my apprentice and I want her to be a midwife, but that my frist obligation is to them and that if they have a problem with her, I WANT TO KNOW.

But, barring personality issues, I think it's beneficial to entertain the idea of allowing the apprentice to be there. I don't think I pressured her, nor do I pressure my clients, but I do like for people to know that having more midwives DEPENDS on apprentices getting into births. And there aren't always other clients who are willing...

Charlotte, midwife to some awesome women, wife to Jason, and no longer a mama to all boys S reading.gif('01), A nut.gif ('03) S lol.gif ('08) and L love.gif ('10).
Charmie981 is offline  
#6 of 52 Old 06-07-2006, 08:09 PM
 
BelgianSheepDog's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: unemployed in Greenland
Posts: 7,824
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
At first I was overwhelmed by the fact that there are three women on the team I'm working with--including an intern and an apprentice. Then as time went by I got to know them all better and each one is a different person who brings different strengths and I am now SO GLAD to have all three of them around. It might not work out that way for you, but if I were you I'd give it a little more time and see how you feel later.
BelgianSheepDog is offline  
#7 of 52 Old 06-07-2006, 08:24 PM
 
courtenay_e's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: In my own little piece of paradise
Posts: 8,164
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
Hmmm. I think of it this way. My mom is a hairdresser (give me a chance, I think this'll make sense). She's a really, really good one. She's precise, she is great at customer service, she stays up on all the latest technology and styles. She uses an assistant to do things like shampoo, take down perm rods, and clean up her station between clients. These are things that first, allow her to be more efficient. She can get more done with more clients if she has her assistant to help her. Second, it is physically easier on her, as the assistant does some of the work that hurts her back, and none of the work that will affect the outcome of the client's hairdo. Third, my mom is able to spend more time (sounds strange, doesn't it?) meeting the EMOTIONAL needs of her client if her assistant is doing some of the, uh, well, some of the grunt work.

I feel the same way about an apprentice midwife. As an assistant to a hair dresser is often working on their own license and is there to watch and learn as much as to make a buck, a midwife's apprentice is there to watch and learn as much as she is to do some of the grunt work. When some of the little, mindless details that the midwife wouldn't want to give to someone NOT trained in birth are covered by the apprentice, the midwife will have more time and energy to put into supporting you in the manner you need.

That said, I know of several people who didn't click with the apprentice and asked them not to be present at their birth. No problems, either. Just know that, in all, your experience might be a BETTER one for the extra, quiet, efficient body in your home.

Mama to two awesome kids. Wife to a wonderful, attached, loving husband. I love my job-- I'm a Midwife, Doula and Childbirth Educator, Classes forming now!

courtenay_e is offline  
#8 of 52 Old 06-07-2006, 08:41 PM
 
Rockies5's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Colorado Springs
Posts: 2,547
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I understand the mw's perspective but no woman should have to agree to have anyone at HER birth..if this mw isn't comfortable with that...find another one.

YOur feelings may change, but then again they may not and they are valid either way. Birth is extremely personal for some of us.

My mw brought her assistant despite my telling her not to to our first birth together. I was angry, distracted and unhappy about it. I didn't invite her to my next birth. I re-hired her for the last, with the understanding that I didn't want any extra people at my birth.

Carrie, The Birthteacher CCE and Doula, real mom to five; and womb-mom to G. born at 23w by emergency C. 12/09
Rockies5 is offline  
#9 of 52 Old 06-07-2006, 10:18 PM
 
Charmie981's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2002
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 4,391
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by courtenay_e
I feel the same way about an apprentice midwife. As an assistant to a hair dresser is often working on their own license and is there to watch and learn as much as to make a buck, a midwife's apprentice is there to watch and learn as much as she is to do some of the grunt work. When some of the little, mindless details that the midwife wouldn't want to give to someone NOT trained in birth are covered by the apprentice, the midwife will have more time and energy to put into supporting you in the manner you need.
I think this is very true, AS LONG AS the apprentice isn't in her "primary midwife" part of her training. It would be very beneficial to know ahead of time who will be your primary midwife...the apprentice or the midwife? At the point of primary midwife (aka "catches"), the supervising midwife often becomes the assistant and does the grunt work. Which is great if you're prepared for it and okay with it, but I know that sometimes it can be a shock to people also!

And I would NEVER bring someone to a birth if I was asked specifically not to bring them. I'm a very private birth-er myself (which is why my desire to teach and have apprentices involved in my birth/pregnancy says a lot about my committment to forwarding midwifery). I would (did) cry if someone ended up being there that I didn't expect. Had my water not broken, I think I would have stopped my contractions and gone home when I found out another family would be at the birth center the day I was in labor . So, I totally understand not wanting a suprise, but I also think that it would be tood to be open to meeting and working with the apprentice before you eliminate her from your birth plans.

Charlotte, midwife to some awesome women, wife to Jason, and no longer a mama to all boys S reading.gif('01), A nut.gif ('03) S lol.gif ('08) and L love.gif ('10).
Charmie981 is offline  
#10 of 52 Old 06-07-2006, 10:47 PM
 
emmabella's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: a constant state of lactation
Posts: 267
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
A midwife in my area told me once that having another "medical type" support person at the birth is a humongous advantage in case there are any unexpected outcomes. Two patients (mom & baby)... two available care providers (midwife & apprentice). For example, mom is hemmorhaging badly and the midwife has to do what she needs to do very quickly... the apprentice is there to be an extra hand to the midwife and also continue evaluating the baby. Can you imagine if you had serious problems with both mom AND baby after the birth and the midwife was alone. Ikes! It's rare, I'm sure, but I wouldn't want to be in that situation. Anywho, just a thought but I definitely agree that it should be up to the mama in the end.
emmabella is offline  
#11 of 52 Old 06-07-2006, 11:15 PM
 
Snowdrift's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Posts: 5,669
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Just one more person who ended up feeling mroe comforted/supported by the apprentice than the midwife. I love my midwife, but I just really clicked with one of her apprentices. I ended up having an midwife and two apprentices at my my birth and was very glad of it.

Courtenay made the point in her analogy about the physical benefits to the care provider of having an assistant. I had 11 hours of hard back labor. I demanded deep massage and strong counterpressure that whole time. And my midwife had come almost directly from another birth. And I essentially kept her up for 24 hours. By the time I was demanding so much physical labor on their parts, these women were already tired. I had all those wonderful labor hormones to keep me going, but I'm glad we had three women to trade off doing massage/counter-pressure. I dunno if physically any one of them could have kept it up at that point. If they could, they certinly wouldn't've been up to sticking around for three hours after the birth to get things cleaned up and put together snacks for me and get bath herbs ready for the next day..all those little tasks that made my first few days pp so much easier.

If you want as few people there as possible, what about limiting the number of people you want in the room with you at any given time? The apprentices can still get in practice as labor support and they will be there if needed during the birth. And at that point you may change your mind after having gone through labor with them and want everyone there.
Snowdrift is offline  
#12 of 52 Old 06-08-2006, 01:03 AM
 
abclan's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Sierra Nevada Foothills
Posts: 572
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
You may be surprised at how the apprentice midwife helps the primary midwife. Yes, she is there to learn. But, she also there to be a "second pair of hands". (Can you say back labor or supra-pubic pressure?)

As a former apprentice midwife and a three time homebirther, I do think it is an important role. We do not have any local midwives who practice alone - everyone in our CAM region takes along an apprentice ( I think it's done for alot of reasons - from emotional support to legal CYA). As an apprentice, I have been to births where the mother wasn't aware I was there til after she pushed her baby out and I've also been the one holding her in a supported squat. So, you never know what the situation will bring until you are in it.

Every birth is different. If you require privacy, it should be given to you. Part of having a safe and positive birth is trusting your midwife and her team. I, mean, if she really rubbed you the wrong way, make a strong stand. I encourage you to talk to your midwfe honestly and listen to her reasons for choosing this apprentice and what role she will likely play in your birth . . . .go from there but try to open about it.
abclan is offline  
#13 of 52 Old 06-08-2006, 01:09 AM
 
maxmama's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Ann Arbor/Ypsilanti
Posts: 2,454
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I can't imagine why you wouldn't want an extra pair of hands there. What if the baby is slow to start and mom starts hemorrhaging? No, it doesn't happen often, but I've seen it. It's why we always have a baby nurse for birth.

mama to Max (2/02) and Sophie (10/06); wife to my fabulous girl
maxmama is offline  
#14 of 52 Old 06-08-2006, 12:32 PM
 
Plaid Leopard's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: UK
Posts: 2,618
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I was an apprentice midwife for a while. Sometimes I was doing the grunt work (cleaning up the poop and the vomit, fetching whatever the midwife needed, taking notes etc), other times I was supporting the woman. Still other times i was sent out of the room because the woman wanted privacy. No problem, no hard feelings.

One of the times I was sent out of the room was at a birth of a couple's 4th baby. Their house was a disaster area, so the other apprentice and I spent a couple of hours scrubbing the kitchen and decluttering the living room while the woman labored. Then we were called back in for the birth.

After the births the other apprentice and I would pack up all the supplies, put the sheets in the wash, prepare the herb bath etc while the midwife tended to the client. Sometimes I would help with breastfeeding.

So you see, there can be advantages to having an apprentice. SHe doesn't have to stay in the room with you the whole time. But she is a big help to the midwife, and maybe even to you.

Of course, it is always your call. ANd your midwife should understand that.
Plaid Leopard is offline  
#15 of 52 Old 06-08-2006, 12:39 PM
 
mama in the forest's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Posts: 3,059
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
huggerwocky,

You are entirely within your rights to decline people at your birth. I personally, completely understand why you would feel this way.

This is YOUR birth....not the midwife's....and as such, it is your decision as to who will be there. You are in charge - not anyone else.

Greenlee's Forest *intentional jewelry* a secret Journal locket!
Me My Blog Mama to 7 babes & four spirit babies
mama in the forest is offline  
#16 of 52 Old 06-08-2006, 12:53 PM
 
7kiddosmom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: South Texas
Posts: 1,040
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Of course it is the woman's choice as to who is present at the birth and your midwife should accomodate you.

My mw has some great ideas when it comes to client/apprentice situations.

First she has a form that lists how much care you are willing to have done by the apprentice.

She offers a discount to clients that are willing to use an apprentice as their primary mw.

She ALWAYS tells the client that if they are not comfortable w/ an apprentice to let her know.

On a side note my mw's dd was her apprentice for the 2 births I had with her practice. Now she is a mw. I LOVED her, I was so thankful that she was there with my first homebirth as she helped me get through the last few hours of contractions. Not only that she has a great sense of humor and her stories provided many many laughs during my last labor. She also helped my dh with the other children, helped clean up and was so gentle and loving w/ my newborns.

I see my mw and her dd as a team, it just wouldn't be the same w/o one or the other.

Kasey
7kiddosmom is offline  
#17 of 52 Old 06-08-2006, 02:16 PM - Thread Starter
 
huggerwocky's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Posts: 5,544
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Charmie981
Also, and please don't take offense at this, the apprentice is part of the practice to gain experience. There's something for her to learn from your birth even if she sits in the corner the whole time.
True, but I don't see it as my obligation to sacrifice my birth experience so someone can learn. I really want it to be different this time and don't want to be watched, if I was brave enough I'd have an UC.
huggerwocky is offline  
#18 of 52 Old 06-08-2006, 02:20 PM - Thread Starter
 
huggerwocky's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Posts: 5,544
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by courtenay_e
Hmmm. I think of it this way. My mom is a hairdresser (give me a chance, I think this'll make sense). She's a really, really good one. She's precise, she is great at customer service, she stays up on all the latest technology and styles. She uses an assistant to do things like shampoo, take down perm rods, and clean up her station between clients. These are things that first, allow her to be more efficient. She can get more done with more clients if she has her assistant to help her. Second, it is physically easier on her, as the assistant does some of the work that hurts her back, and none of the work that will affect the outcome of the client's hairdo. Third, my mom is able to spend more time (sounds strange, doesn't it?) meeting the EMOTIONAL needs of her client if her assistant is doing some of the, uh, well, some of the grunt work.

.
Unfortunately logic doesn't help me change the way I feel about this. Yes, I might like her more than the midwife, but in general I want as few people around me, let alone touch me. There's a reason I'm having a homebirth and not a hospital birth.
huggerwocky is offline  
#19 of 52 Old 06-08-2006, 02:23 PM - Thread Starter
 
huggerwocky's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Posts: 5,544
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by emmabella
A midwife in my area told me once that having another "medical type" support person at the birth is a humongous advantage in case there are any unexpected outcomes. Two patients (mom & baby)... two available care providers (midwife & apprentice). For example, mom is hemmorhaging badly and the midwife has to do what she needs to do very quickly... the apprentice is there to be an extra hand to the midwife and also continue evaluating the baby. Can you imagine if you had serious problems with both mom AND baby after the birth and the midwife was alone. Ikes! It's rare, I'm sure, but I wouldn't want to be in that situation. Anywho, just a thought but I definitely agree that it should be up to the mama in the end.
So what should I do if all the arguments makes sense but the thought is really stressing me out anyway? How can I change that?

I don't want to feel stressed till september about it and then have a complicated labour because I feel cornered in and stressed about the situation.
huggerwocky is offline  
#20 of 52 Old 06-08-2006, 03:02 PM
 
paxye's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Quebec, Canada
Posts: 2,914
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I agree with Mama in the Forest...
It is YOUR birth, you have the right to say who you want there and who you don't want...

For some having that "extra" pair of hands is helpful and makes them feel safer, for others it is detrimental to getting into that personal "space" that some women need to give birth freely and makes them feel less in control and less safe...

 
~paxye~
Mama to Xavier (July 02) , Colin (Sept 04), Khéna(Nov 06) & Wilhelmina (Jan 10)
paxye is offline  
#21 of 52 Old 06-08-2006, 03:08 PM
 
midwifetx's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 632
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
So what should I do if all the arguments makes sense but the thought is really stressing me out anyway? How can I change that?

I don't want to feel stressed till september about it and then have a complicated labour because I feel cornered in and stressed about the situation.
How about deciding to table the issue until your 3rd trimester starts? Give yourself an opportunity to at least meet the apprentice before you decide she's a liability to you. She might be amazing.
midwifetx is offline  
#22 of 52 Old 06-08-2006, 04:40 PM
 
mama in the forest's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Posts: 3,059
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
So what should I do if all the arguments makes sense but the thought is really stressing me out anyway? How can I change that?
It sounds to me like you are having some very natural, very appropriate birthing instincts. I do not think our instincts are something we can change. Instincts are what we tap into when we birth & without them, or, if we do not follow them, or if we allow another individual outside of ourselves to convince us otherwise.....I believe we set ourselves up for problems.

My feeling would be: if you are convinced you want this midwife (for whatever reason), simply sit down with her and inform her that the apprentice will not be attending the birth. I know it's not a comfortable thing to do.....the midwife probably has her own ideas of what YOU should be doing, but this isn't about her, it's about you. You do not have to justify your feelings to her, and you do not have to convince her. I do not think waiting till the third trimester would help YOU any....this is not about whether the apprentice's personality is acceptable to you or not - it is about something you feel instinctually, and waiting till the end won't serve you. If you decide to change to another midwife, or decide to UC, it's nice to be able to have the time to settle into that.

See what her reaction is. If she is completely supportive, then good! If she is not, or if she is argumentative.....I would ask myself if she is someone who will follow my other instincts during birth.

If you come to feel that she is not, there is always UC! I don't think it takes bravery......it's more about trusting your own body and your instincts....which I can see you obviously do!

Greenlee's Forest *intentional jewelry* a secret Journal locket!
Me My Blog Mama to 7 babes & four spirit babies
mama in the forest is offline  
#23 of 52 Old 06-08-2006, 05:23 PM
 
Carolinamidwife's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2001
Location: Durham, NC
Posts: 7,743
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
While I think it is totally acceptable to not want an apprentice there I don't think it's OK to ask a midwife to come alone. I'm not sure if that's what you meant from your post or if you just don't want a student there. I will not attend a birth alone (unless it's accidental) but I would not take offense to someone asking me to leave an apprentice behind nor have I been offended when someone asked that I not attend as an apprentice. In my area it's highly frowned upon to not bring at least one other midwife to a birth for a second set of hands in the unlikely event of an emergency.

When I had my second child I requested that the assistant midwife not bring her apprentice (who was her own daughter) and I didn't feel a moment's guilt about it. It's your birth and you should get to decline whomever you want.

Amy: Certified Professional Midwife and mom to Max (11) and Stella (6).
Carolinamidwife is offline  
#24 of 52 Old 06-08-2006, 06:30 PM - Thread Starter
 
huggerwocky's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Posts: 5,544
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by midwifetx
How about deciding to table the issue until your 3rd trimester starts? Give yourself an opportunity to at least meet the apprentice before you decide she's a liability to you. She might be amazing.
It starts in 1 week
huggerwocky is offline  
#25 of 52 Old 06-08-2006, 06:36 PM - Thread Starter
 
huggerwocky's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Posts: 5,544
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sheena
While I think it is totally acceptable to not want an apprentice there I don't think it's OK to ask a midwife to come alone.
Actually that's exactly what I meant. I don't know what the custom is. I thought it was normal for midwives to come alone.
huggerwocky is offline  
#26 of 52 Old 06-08-2006, 06:59 PM
 
Carolinamidwife's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2001
Location: Durham, NC
Posts: 7,743
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Well, I don't know what it's like in your area, that might be the custom. We don't do it here because for one thing a birth can be a lot of work for one midiwfe and for another thing in the (unlikely) event of something like a shoulder dystocia and/or a hemorrhage or the need for CPR you definitely want two trained hands there. But that is just my training, other midwives have different philosophies.

Amy: Certified Professional Midwife and mom to Max (11) and Stella (6).
Carolinamidwife is offline  
#27 of 52 Old 06-08-2006, 07:06 PM
 
DreamsInDigital's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2003
Posts: 13,481
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
It is absolutely 100% your choice. No amount of reasoning changes that. If you do not want the apprentice there and the midwife does not accept that, it's time to find another midwife.
Bottom line, it is your birth.
DreamsInDigital is offline  
#28 of 52 Old 06-08-2006, 07:39 PM
 
lilsishomemade's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: With Dorothy
Posts: 1,566
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
i agree it needs to be your choice. I know a lot of mw's who always has someone nearby in case of emergency and cya, but I've known apprentices who are in a different part of the home and not where mama is having the baby. That way she's not around you, and yet she's there in case of emergency. Would that be okay with you?

I've not met a mw who wasn't understanding of this, personally.
lilsishomemade is offline  
#29 of 52 Old 06-08-2006, 08:40 PM
 
doula and mom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: is EVERYTHING!
Posts: 546
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Would you be willing to have the apprentice there but not THERE?

What I mean is, in a different room than you, or even waiting outside or in the car or something?

I totally agree that it's your birth and your choice, however I'd like an extra set of hands "just in case." Maybe the apprentice won't even see you, she might be outside the whole time, but in case of hemorrhage, etc, she can be called in?

I don't know how it works, I've yet to experience a homebirth
doula and mom is offline  
#30 of 52 Old 06-08-2006, 08:42 PM
 
maxmama's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Ann Arbor/Ypsilanti
Posts: 2,454
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by DreamsInDigital
It is absolutely 100% your choice. No amount of reasoning changes that. If you do not want the apprentice there and the midwife does not accept that, it's time to find another midwife.
Bottom line, it is your birth.
If you want to ignore the MW's clinical judgment that she needs two people there, though, then why bother having a midwife at all? Midwives are professionals. They have clinical judgment and skill based on their experience with birthing women and what they consider a prudent course of action. Yeah, you can probably find someone who will agree to whatever you want, but then what's the point in having a provider at all?

mama to Max (2/02) and Sophie (10/06); wife to my fabulous girl
maxmama is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Drag and Drop File Upload
Drag files here to attach!
Upload Progress: 0
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off