I'm reposting this from my myspace blog:
UGH. What a hard test! But not in the traditional sense. I had studied things like exact amounts of vitamins and precise antibiotic doses and such... nothing like that on the test. No percentages, no need to know the names of extremely rare diseases. Just a bunch of trying to guess what is in the head of the person who wrote the question. I am not allowed to repeat actual test questions, but I am just going to approximate what I'm talking about with original examples.
Here's one "example."
A client reports that she hasn't felt her baby move in over 24 hours. What should you do FIRST?
1. Check the baby's heartbeat
2. Check the baby's position
3. Have her lie down
4. Consult her chart
Well, your gut instinct is to say, "Whoa, check that baby's heartbeat now!" And there it is, option number one, easy, huh? But then you go to option 2. Technically, you HAVE to check the baby's position before you try to hear the heart, so you know where to put your fetoscope. (You're never going to hear anything if you're listening over part of her belly where the baby isn't even lying.) So B has to happen before A, chronologically, and the question did ask what to do first, not what was most important. Then you get to C, and it is true, you're going to have her lie down first, then check position, then listen to the heartbeat. So I guess it is C. But then option 4 is consult her chart. Well... maybe she's only 18 weeks pregnant! If that's the case, it is totally normal for her not to feel the baby move for over a day, and you can reassure her. Also, you know that you might not even be able to hear the heartbeat with a fetoscope at 18 weeks, so you don't waste a lot of time trying and worrying the mother. And if she has reported this to you over the phone, of course you're going to consult her chart while you're waiting for her to get to you, or when you're on your way to her sitting at a red light. Hmmmm.... any of them COULD be right depending on how you look at it and the exact circumstances. And none of them seem AS right as 1, but that really isn't what you do FIRST.
Here's another "example":
A woman is anemic. What foods do you recommend?
1. Celery, lettuce, beets, raisins, and corn
2. Chard, hawthorn, malt-o-meal, bananas, and kiwi
3. Beans, orange juice, rose hips, chamomile tea, and carrots
4. Cauliflower, cabbage, tomatoes, whole wheat bread, and berries
OOOOOOOhkeay..... the first question that pops into my mind... WHERE'S THE BEEF? (And I'm not even old enough to remember that commercial.) Are we ALL freakin' vegetarians all of a sudden? I'm not recommending any of that $h!+. I'm telling her to get herself some organic beef and get some Floradix. But let's deal with what we have here. OK, beans, they're supposed to be good for iron. And the vitamin C in the OJ will help her absorb that iron. So 3 is looking good. But... chamomile tea?!? Carrots? That can't be it. And what are Rose Hips? They were on the test at least twice! (off to wikipedia I go...) OK, I remember reading that dried fruits are high in iron. Raisins (in option 1) are dried fruit. But the rest of that list is ridiculous, right? Hmmm. Chard? Are leafy greens high in iron? I'm not sure... I know they have calcium, maybe they have iron too... malt-o-meal is probably fortified... but hawthorn, well, first that's an herb, not a food, and I don't think it has any iron. Kiwi has the vit. C, but what does banana have to do w/ iron? Nothing. OK, last option, berries and tomatoes have Vit. C, and the bread might be fortified w/ iron, but cabbage and cauliflower? I don't think so... but I could be wrong! Why oh why didn't I spend days studying all the foods that could possibly have iron?!? I mean, if I happen to have an anemic vegetarian client who won't take Floradix, I don't suppose there's any way I could look up her options at that time. (ha ha.)
(Now I suppose that if I knew a lot about iron in foods, the question wouldn't have seemed so ridiculous... but I honestly thought I knew enough about foods w/ iron, when I clearly did not, at least for this test.)
Can you imagine 350 questions like that? This test plays with your head, man!!!
I don't know if I passed or failed. I really, really don't have a sense of how I did. I should have the results in 2-4 weeks.
postscript: I have discovered that Rose Hips are an excellent source of vitamin C. This is good news, because I think that's what I guessed on the test for one question. For some reason Rose Hips just sounded high in C to me.
"If you only knew how many things I want to say and don't, you'd give me some credit."