Have you considered going to a therapist or birth counselor?
It sounds like you can benefit from that type of professional support.
Reading and getting support from other women is vital but only one part of the healing process, the missing component to healing is having a trained and experienced professional who works with women suffering from trauma help you cope individually with your PTSD.
My whole family suffered from PTSD professional help was vital to growing and coping.
Are you familiar with Gayle Peterson, Ph.D she is well regarded birth counselor. She has also trained other counselors nation wide, I would start by contacting Dr Peterson and to find someone locally.
Best to you,