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Old 11-30-2008, 10:54 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Old 12-01-2008, 01:58 AM
 
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Talk to your lawyer about getting a temporary custody/visitation and support order asap. This is just a stop-gap between the move and actual divorce/custody hearing so it would be a very basic custody order as opposed to a very-detailed "Parenting Agreement."

I am definitely a "planner" so please forgive if any of this seems cold or calculating

You should close any jointly-held accounts asap and if possible have at least some funds socked-away in your own name (for incidentals and such).

Before you start worrying about furniture make sure you get the basics. If your going to "grab and dash" while DH is gone it could get messy so get the absolute essentials (CLOTHES!) and important mementos first.


Lots and Lots of during this difficult time.

Mama to 01/2008 and anxiously awaiting due July 2011
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Old 12-01-2008, 02:31 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I am going to start taking some items (like clothes and documents) over there this week. I drive that way for school anyway, so I'm going to start taking the un-noticed items over. The only big stuff I need is my computer, desk, printer (all for school). We have an extra bed in a storage unit that I plan to get, but I don't have to get that out of the house.

I've transferred money into my personal bank account, but I don't know that I can close our joint account on my own, and his unemployment checks get direct deposited in there.

I only make $300 a month right now, but I will be looking for another PT job when I move out. I also have a student loan coming my way in Jan. My friend is only charging me $200 for the room, I have food stamps and WIC, so I will just have $100 left over for gas, etc for the month until I find another PT job. (I can't quit the one I am in right now, it's needed for my career goals)

I don't have a lawyer, but I am going to Legal Aid here in SLC, and see if they will help me. I am not filing for divorce right NOW, I am asking him for a separation... do I still need the same order?
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Old 12-01-2008, 02:38 AM
 
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Yes, you'll still need to work out custody and visitation and it can take weeks, sometimes months to get a formal agreement in place.

Mama to 01/2008 and anxiously awaiting due July 2011
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Old 12-01-2008, 07:59 AM
 
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considering how you plan to move out check out the DV shelter and ask them for advice of how to move out. they should be able to give you an idea of how to get your action plan ready. how the first thing is to get your most important documents out. ur and ur ds's. also note down dh's social security number AND driving license number - just in case - for future reference.

since you are on a limited budget - make sure you get everything you need, winter summer clothes - so that u dont have to spend money on what you already have. esp. stuff for your new baby.

and remember start documenting everything. for future reference.

 treehugger.gif Co-parent, joy.gifcold.gifbrand new homeschooling middle schoolerjoy.gif, and an attackcat.gif 
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