Nervous About 1st Court Date Tuesday - Page 3 - Mothering Forums

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#61 of 64 Old 01-05-2009, 02:15 AM
 
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Money is power especially when you are going through the courts. Be pleasant to your ex, but I wouldn't give up what you are entitled to in the hope that he will be nice about custody. If you have no money, ask to be placed back in the family home until the divorce is finalized or ask for temporary support. Good Luck!!
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#62 of 64 Old 01-07-2009, 04:38 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I cant thank you all enough for the support and advice. I have to wait until Thursday before I can talk to the lawyer I'm hoping to hire. I only have $2500 for a retainer, and not really any hope of getting more, so I am hoping she will at least agree to represent me for mediation and the upcoming hearing. I also have booked a flight (maxed my cc to do it, but hey its marital debt, right?) to return to Maine next week. That way I'll be there for about a month before the hearing, and stbx will get plenty of regular visitation, or at least the opportunity for it. I'm sure his lawyer has counseled him on the wisdom of maintaining regular and frequent contact with ds, so he probably will be "perfect" for everyone else's benefit.

Stbx told me today that he won't sign any agreement allowing me to have temporary custody of ds, or to let me bring ds back to Oreogn, even temporarily so that I can be here for my cousin. She had her 1st surgery today (partial mastectomy), and they found another tumor in her armpit. They biopsied it but dont have results yet, however, the surgeon went ahead and scheduled her for more surgery Friday. I'm assuming he's expecting the worst.

I feel so SO guilty for leaving right now while my cousin needs me. Not just as a support person, but to help with her kids. She's a homeschooling Mama, and a busy one! I have the kids for the next couple days to take them to pottery class, Spiral Scouts, open gym at the local gymnastics center...I feel like I am abandoning her family. It feels awful. I hope she will understand why I need to leave, and that I have to do this for my son. Hopefully she will forgive me.
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#63 of 64 Old 01-07-2009, 10:52 PM
 
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more hugs and kudos for getting everything set up and spending so much time in the state that you hate to make things right If I were your cousin, I'd be bummed but would totally understand that you had to go. Sending her healing vibes (and some to you, too )

Robin~ single, work-at-home momma to my WonderBoys
YoungMan (6/00) & LittleBoy (6/04)
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#64 of 64 Old 01-08-2009, 02:11 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Socks for Supper View Post
I cant thank you all enough for the support and advice. I have to wait until Thursday before I can talk to the lawyer I'm hoping to hire. I only have $2500 for a retainer, and not really any hope of getting more, so I am hoping she will at least agree to represent me for mediation and the upcoming hearing. I also have booked a flight (maxed my cc to do it, but hey its marital debt, right?) to return to Maine next week. That way I'll be there for about a month before the hearing, and stbx will get plenty of regular visitation, or at least the opportunity for it. I'm sure his lawyer has counseled him on the wisdom of maintaining regular and frequent contact with ds, so he probably will be "perfect" for everyone else's benefit.

Stbx told me today that he won't sign any agreement allowing me to have temporary custody of ds, or to let me bring ds back to Oreogn, even temporarily so that I can be here for my cousin. She had her 1st surgery today (partial mastectomy), and they found another tumor in her armpit. They biopsied it but dont have results yet, however, the surgeon went ahead and scheduled her for more surgery Friday. I'm assuming he's expecting the worst.

I feel so SO guilty for leaving right now while my cousin needs me. Not just as a support person, but to help with her kids. She's a homeschooling Mama, and a busy one! I have the kids for the next couple days to take them to pottery class, Spiral Scouts, open gym at the local gymnastics center...I feel like I am abandoning her family. It feels awful. I hope she will understand why I need to leave, and that I have to do this for my son. Hopefully she will forgive me.
She understands. She knows you're not abandoning her.
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