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Old 01-29-2009, 03:10 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Long story short dh and I were having trouble, I'd asked him to stay until the baby was born, then he was being really nice, but deep down I think I knew something wasn't right. It was tearing me up, I kept getting sick. I finally asked if he was still planning on leaving after the baby came and he said yes. Then I found out he's already got a girl he's interested in at work
I packed his clothes up and he's gone now.

I know this is probably for the best, ultimately I'll be better off, but it's still hard. I don't want to eat, I can't sleep, and my stomach is in knots.
I know I need to eat, I don't want the baby to suffer, but it's just hard. There was a couple days that all I had was a bowl of rice. I've called on friends and they've helped, but they've got their own lives and their own problems.

We're over 250 bucks in the hole in our bank account. I can't find the kids birth certificates to get on medicaid/food stamps. I don't have insurance or tags on the truck, and no gas. I'm sure I could get a ride to the medicaid office if I could find the birth certificates. I don't have a phone, but I do have a few minutes on skype, although that's not allways the clearest way to talk to somebody. Still waiting on two w-2's to file income taxes. He's said I can use all of it for whatever I need. He's also said he's going to pay 350 a week, but I don't know if he'll actually be able to. I know he's not going to try and take the kids. He was even ok with me moving out of state if I need. As much of a jerk as he is, he still wants to make sure we're taken care of. He told me if I need anything to call him.
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Old 01-29-2009, 03:20 PM
 
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Oh sweetie I don't know what to say except that I am glad you are reaching out for support in this difficult time, keep coming here, it was a lifesaver for me when I was going through my stuff. Just concentrate on the basics, nourishing yourself for the baby, and it may not help, but it really is better that it happened sooner rather than later. Living a lie sucks and even if everyone is 'playing nice' there is an underlying tension and negative force that is very bad for you and the baby.


                                Whatever will be, already is...
 
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Old 01-29-2009, 03:40 PM
 
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My ex husband told me he wanted a divorce when I was 8 months pregnant. He was already "in love" with a co-worker. I begged him to stay till after the baby was born and he reluctantly agreed. However I came to my senses and figured out that it really was over and that I'd be better off trying to find a place to land before the baby was born (I was planning a homebirth but didn't even have a home at this point, we'd been evicted!) I was lucky enough to have generous friends who allowed me and my son to stay there and have my baby there and get back on my feet.

Anyway I just wanted to say I understand your pain to some degree. In the end it was better for my life to have it over before the baby came (even though I only had a week before the baby was born).

I hope you can figure things out and get copies of the birth certificates! And I hope that you ex has more honor than mine and pays his child support.

Laura

mom to 3 home-born children, wife to a great guy joy.gif

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Old 01-29-2009, 03:58 PM
 
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I'm sorry, i know how hard it is. I'm glad you are able to do what you need for your family. I am confused though about how broke you are but yet your ex can afford to give $1400 a month in support. If he has the ability to do that then why have you no money for food or gas or insurance? With $1400 a month in support i'm not sure you would qualify for food stamps. It would depend on your family size. Why not have him give you a month's worth of support for your family?
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Old 01-29-2009, 04:27 PM
 
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what state are you in? Maybe you can post of finding your tribe, and get out to meet some other moms for meals. Things will be ok eventually... hugs
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Old 01-29-2009, 04:49 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I'm sorry, i know how hard it is. I'm glad you are able to do what you need for your family. I am confused though about how broke you are but yet your ex can afford to give $1400 a month in support. If he has the ability to do that then why have you no money for food or gas or insurance? With $1400 a month in support i'm not sure you would qualify for food stamps. It would depend on your family size. Why not have him give you a month's worth of support for your family?
I'm not sure that he can, that would be most if not more then his one paycheck from his main job. He has a second job but it doesn't pay that well either. I'm pretty sure I'll qualify since I was on wic, but couldn't make it to the last appt. He had to go 20 miles each day to get to work and he's thinking he'll save money on gas by living with his parents since they're closer to his work.
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Old 01-29-2009, 05:34 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Omg I'd filed for some unclaimed money of his awhile back and the check just came in. Now as long as he'll sign it and give me enough to do what I need to do....

ETA
Ok, I'm rethinking that, we have a joint account so I could just deposit it and take it out later the same day. His paycheck is direct deposit and it should be just enough to bring the account balance even and it goes in Friday. I'll use the cash from the unclaimed money check to pay insurance, tags, and possibly get new birth certificate copies if I can't find the other ones.

A big part of the reason we're under is he allways thinks we have more then we do and then can't understand when we go under. I used to be really good about keeping up with everything, but eventually got tired of doing it all on my own, no matter how much I tried to get him to help, and constantly having to tell him no. So I think it's better if he doesnt know about this, the less he thinks I have the better. He's the one who left me like this. He's the one who decided to buy a Harley (to save gas ) go out all night and party, etc....

Ya know what really sucks, why did he give her the attention I so desperately wanted? Why do I still care about him? I don't know if I want to kick him or hug him. I know that sounds crazy, I've been on the other side, thinking why does she still love him, look how he's treated her....
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Old 01-30-2009, 12:02 AM
 
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Originally Posted by kangaroomum25 View Post

ETA
Ok, I'm rethinking that, we have a joint account so I could just deposit it and take it out later the same day. His paycheck is direct deposit and it should be just enough to bring the account balance even and it goes in Friday. I'll use the cash from the unclaimed money check to pay insurance, tags, and possibly get new birth certificate copies if I can't find the other ones.


You should absolutely do this. Do NOT depend on his word. His word meant nothing when it came to your vows so why think he will honor them now. Get yourself a non-joint checking account first so you can do this transfer quickly and easily.
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