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#61 of 134 Old 02-10-2009, 12:14 AM
 
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Beloved, you are so wise. I had a dinner date as a first date tonight and it was horrible!!!!!! He was nice, and sweet, but I knew at first sight I wasn't interested (look at many pictures from several different angles, not just one picture from a strange angle!) at all--he was simply sooooo skinny. Then we went to dinner and I noticed that he wasn't talking at ALL, hardly, and I had to make ALL the conversation, which I did, (tried to ask questions but got shrugs as answers) but even *I* got sick of the sound of my own voice after the first hour... and I was trying to eat slow (and had to eat slow so I could keep awkward silence at bay and couldn't talk and eat at the same time) but an hour was enough before I cleaned my plate. He picked at his food for 90 more minutes!!!!!!!!!! I sat there and had to entertain him for the loooongest 2.5 hour sit down meal of my life. I do think he's a nice person, but he was so slow, he finally admitted he was done with his food when it was ice cold and the waiter let us know they wanted to go ahead and close up the restaurant, and he had only eaten 20% of it, tops. The super skinny guy with a bald head (partially bald partially shaved, it seems) who does not EAT just seems a bit off. : Like, is he ill or is he annorexic or what?

Anyway, I thanked him and went home, won't be seeing him again.

Amnesty Guy has let me know on a late-night-Saturday-night chat that he has decided to cool it on the communications with me for at least a day, to avoid getting too enthusiastic and carried away already before meeting face to face on Saturday. However, I didn't expect he'd ignore me again today, Monday, and then when I chatted him up online late Monday night, he was definitely polite but definitely 'cool' and when I suggested we talk at some point during the week via phone or online (since he was going to bed soon), he said he has made up his mind just to meet me in person on Saturday and see what is there between us and decide about what feels like the right next step after that. Implying that he really doesn't want to be in touch between now and then terribly much. I know it's only 7 days of silence, and at this point only 5 more, and that's probably wise of him to decide that. However, it kinda bugs me that *he* decided it, and didn't present the idea of perhaps putting a moratorium on chatting/calling/texting between now and Saturday evening in a 'what do you say we do this' sort of suggestion, and instead made the decision on his own and then imposed the ruling on us. It's his choice whether or not to talk to me, but it feels weird and not cold but ...cool, at least, that he would decide that without sort of feeling it out one way or another about whether or not I would feel okay with it if he proceeded in that way. I would have liked if he would have said that he'd prefer if we tried to hold off until Saturday's live meeting, if that would be okay with me (because being in constant contact with someone for five days and then suddenly imposing radio silence for 7 days is a bit abrupt and could be interpreted in many ways).

I'm overthinking this. He's really right, it's absolutely awful to get carried away thinking about how great someone is whom you've never met IRL. That's why I rushed to Paris to meet guy-in-Brussels 6 days after we met online and hit it off, and it was less than 12 hours after I heard his voice the first time and knew how much I liked him during that first, seven-hour-marathon phone call (that felt like 15 minutes). It's best, if you have one of these really strong hunches, to move things to live-meetings right away so that if something does *not* click in person as it did online (even with video calls, etc), you find out before either/both get too attached. Right?

Anyway, the guy may be way too interesting for me. I mean, he sings in a choir, he studies sign language, dabbles in buddhist meditation, is a passionate music enthusiast attending punk rock and hard rock gigs frequently, he is heavily involved with Amnesty, obviously, and is starting a band where he will be a throat singer (what is that?), he is a very active uncle and godfather, very tight with his brothers and parents (and extended family) and spends significant time with them, has many good friends he has maintained over the years, and about half a dozen other random and intriguing sounding hobbies that I cannot believe he finds time to do. His life just seems way too rich to squeeze in a girlfriend like me. He has said straight out that if a relationship developed, obviously less-important things would get shuffled around to make room, and he argues that his life is full and between the lines it's obvious he wants to meet the right woman for him and settle down and he's really gung-ho on having a family of his own. : Dunno before meeting, he's right....but I miss his voice over the phone.....

Bald & Muscular is still in Barcelona! He chatted me and called me today, for fun, to say hi, etc. He still doesn't know/expect that he has a chance to date me, and seems so cool with being friends. But 176 cm? 5'9"? I already tried that with the last shortie who was such a good kisser, who vanished of his own free will (either because he knew i had mixed feelings or) because I have children.....and I had such a hard time swallowing that, or my libido did anyway.

Ken-Doll hasn't called.... : I wonder what that means :

Ok, it means that I'm not perfect and not EVERY guy wants me (my dating ego needed taking down a notch, for sure).

Surgeon Boy from my past, who lives in the US, is coming to Europe next month and wants to see me. We keep in touch but nothing intensive, just short emails from time to time. He's 28, handsome and 6'7", started and runs a charity organization that helps pre-teen girls in poor Romanian (he was born there) villages get a chance/scholarships to go to high school if there is no such offerings in their local area. And on top of that he's a surgeon, in the middle of doing his residency at the moment. He has hopes, I believe, that we could be something. Somehow. Although I live here and he is more than an ocean away. : I'll see him, I suppose, but.... : how can he see that working out? On the plus side, he has a EU passport and *coudl* move here after his residency is up, if he really really wanted to. : But his frequency of communication and the depth of it does not make me feel he's that *into* me, but the things he comments during occasional phone calls make it clear he thinks I'm everything he could want and he's hasn't seen anyone else in ages and thinks of us as a possibility. Hmmmm..... Haven't seen him in months and.... who knows. But long distance (especially VERY long distance) really, really sucks, and I don't wanna go there. But he is such an amazing person with the charitable foundation he started and runs in his spare time when he already works 100 hours per week at a hospital? I guess time flies for him and he's content with the idea of a girlfriend thousands of miles away. *shrug* : indeed.....

I know I am too verbose and am givin' ya'll way too much information. Just smile and nod, shrug and scratch your head with me, and if you are bored with time to kill, give me your 2 cents!

Thanks to ya'll who answered my questions about online dating and how you approach it.
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#62 of 134 Old 02-10-2009, 12:23 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Butterfly, that is so funny I am sorry you had such a bad time tonight Your descriptions are hilarious!!!

I just found 2 blog entries about internet dates and they are so FUNNY to read, they bring back such memories. I would link you, but I no longer have the blog. If they weren't so long, I would copy them. They are not THAT long, does anyone want to read?

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#63 of 134 Old 02-10-2009, 06:33 AM
 
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Butterflymom: Wow you have a lot going on! No comments except I think you should leave Amnestyguy to his decision. Keep the silence, act cool and meet up on valentines day to see where things are going. Also keep in mind what it might imply about his future attitude to relationships - is he a "you're hot then you're cold" kind of guy? Take that stuff serious - if he can do it once, he can do it twice..

My guy was a first date dinner. We had originally planned meeting for coffee, but there was so much chemestry a dinner made sence. IT was a bit akward to begin with. At first sight I didnt find him all that attractive - he looked a bit spooked when he saw me. He has later told me my height was a bit intimidating to him. He literally thought "Yeah that will last around 10 minutes and she is out of here".. I stuck around as you now know. I dont care much for height - to imagine turning an amazing guy like this one down because of something that insignificant! Scary thought..

Anyway for us dinner turned out a very good idea.. I dont think I would have stayed for an entire dinner if it had been horrible though. I would have simply left money for my food, excused and been honest. There is no shame in saying "Sorry, you seem like a nice guy, but this doesnt work for me." Especially if conversation is one-way-only. That would really bug me!

I found an old diary yesterday - as in 8-10 years old one. With thougts from my pre-children dating life - and from the first years of being together with my ex. Its scary - and enlightening. First I am a bit surprised to find how mature I seemed to be about dating in some ways - and surprised that there were some obvious things that I didnt see. It is especially hard reading about my only ever story of loving someone who loved me back. It was such a complicated relationship. We never really did "get together" apart from being occasional lovers. All the while I always had a special love for him - just never dared explore it because he was such a complicated, selfdestructive person (its the beautiful guy in my siggy, if anyones interested). I just never saw a future together with him if you kwim. Reading back its SO freakin obvious that he loved me - I dont understand how I couldnt comprehend that. Its horrible to see how I treated him about it all, how casually I toyed with his feelings. All the while actually loving him back. And the most horrible part is, that he killed himself a year ago. And while its easy to say that noone can stop a person who is decided to commit suicide etc - I will always feel responsible. And I will always regret never giving us a chance. All those things will be forever unsaid. Damn. Life can be a bitch sometimes..
Also reading about the early years with my ex is pretty damn scary. I walked into it with open eyes - i cant believe how clearly I saw somethings - and went straight ahead anyway. I wrote several pages about my doubts about him - how I really wasnt in love with him, but how he seemed a good choice after having my heart broken so many times, how aware I was that I was making a compromise, how I felt "imprisoned" in the relationship, but how I thought that was a necessary price to pay to have what I wished for so bad - a family. Goodness. I really made some MAJOR mistakes back then. But well, if I hadn't my children wouldnt be here today so regret is not really an option. Same could be said for my now dead lover. If I had given us a chance, maybe I wouldnt be where I am today, maybe he would still be alive (I know he didnt commit suicide because of me, there were so many other issues, but I was still just another one of those things that didnt work out for him), but maybe i wouldnt have my kids now? Argh- all the what ifs make me dizzy.. not sure what the point is even thinking about them.. if not to make wiser decisions in the future..
Guess I'm just exploring who I was, trying to figure out where I am now. Knowing ones history is a good thing if you want to move on isnt it?

Sorry for the

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#64 of 134 Old 02-10-2009, 07:04 AM
 
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checking in with y'all has become a highlight of my day! So fun adventuring together...
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#65 of 134 Old 02-10-2009, 11:42 AM
 
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Seie, : I can say I also did the same thing with my ex. Walked in with eyes wide open, noticing every red flag but believing that it was a necessary trade off for what i wanted. : It's hard to look back and feel such .....mixed feelings like that, isn't it? But theraputic to think about and come to realize how and why you will never make that mistake again.
I also fell in love with a guy and treated him the way you described, and hurt him, etc, and then later he committed suicide. Everytime i think about him I feel such a stab of guilt that the way I disappointed him, given how in love with me he was, must have been one more thing that led him to give up on life. It's horrible to think about and remember someone you once loved in such a light, isn't it?

But are you calling me scarily superficial that I let a guy's stature dictate my attraction to him? I think I interpreted your words in such a way! Just kidding. I know it IS scarily superficial and I consciously hate that about my libido, and would like to stamp it out. But haven't managed to do so yet.....I swoon over very tall (and cute) men, and just feel sisterly towards shorter guys. I wish I could stop it!
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#66 of 134 Old 02-10-2009, 11:44 AM
 
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Butterfly, that is so funny I am sorry you had such a bad time tonight Your descriptions are hilarious!!!

I just found 2 blog entries about internet dates and they are so FUNNY to read, they bring back such memories. I would link you, but I no longer have the blog. If they weren't so long, I would copy them. They are not THAT long, does anyone want to read?
Glad you find me amusing.

Please do copy/paste them.
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#67 of 134 Old 02-10-2009, 11:47 AM
 
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Bf came over briefly last night, as it was our anniversary.

He brought 1 dozen beautiful red roses and a little package and card. Honestly, I wasn't expecting anything (and didn't get him anything except for a card), as we are spending 2 nights at a very nice hotel in SF.

So... I open the card and it reads, "Happy Anniversary! It has been an amazing year with you!" Then, I proceed to rip off the wrapping to find the ever beautiful, classic Tiffany's blue box and white ribbon. I open the box and find this:

My anniversary gift

:
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#68 of 134 Old 02-10-2009, 12:00 PM
 
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I must admit...I don't understand the whole idea of not talking before meeting!?!?!?!?
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#69 of 134 Old 02-10-2009, 12:02 PM
 
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That's beautiful, H! What a lovely and thoughtful gift! Happy 1st year together!
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#70 of 134 Old 02-10-2009, 01:23 PM
 
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I must admit...I don't understand the whole idea of not talking before meeting!?!?!?!?
I think he got cold feet after sending me that saturday afternoon text message from his long bus ride about how he was staring out the window and could think of nothing but me...... suddenly scared to death that he was already so 'hook line and sinker' with me and we hadn't even met yet and who knows if things would be the same IRL, and just....nervous and worried about setting himself up for getting hurt, maybe badly. So he backed off and cooled things off. I just wish he would have suggested doing so, to me, to give me the chance to agree on it with him and it would have been our plan instead of his plan.

Holland73, what a beautiful necklace!!!!!!!!!! Congratulations on 1 year together and in love!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :
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#71 of 134 Old 02-10-2009, 05:11 PM
 
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Hi everyone! I know I've been absent for awhile but I have great news: I've been seeing someone. Just as I gave up on dating completely and were truly not interested, someone walks into my life. And he's no stranger. I've known this guy for almost 4 years. We used to work together at our old job but we both left that place almost two years. We were causal aquaintences (sp?) with lots of mutual friends so nothing outside of the regular passes in the hallway or email threads. Then he left and no contact. Back in December, I got on Twitter and he was there too. We ended up having daily conversations and discovered we have tons on common. One thing led to another and we've been chatting back and forth since December. We have our first date on tomorrow. A lunch date and then a real date (just bowling and dinner) on Saturday.

He wants the same thing as me: marriage. He is quite clear on the situation between my son's father and I as well as my expectations in a relationship. He has no issues with that and is very open to everything. He got me with the line "I just want to make sure I am being the best man I can be for you." There is an age difference between us (11 years) but we don't care. We are crazy about one another and really want to see what happens. There is ALOT of sexual chemistry between us and we talked about that. He is ok with us waiting for however long it is before we go there, if we even do it at all. Is he not awesome? I am so happy and feeling so good about him. Wish me luck that things work out.

I haven't told my son's father because quite frankly, he isn't privy to my personal life. If me and the new guy decide that marriage is going to be it for us, then we'll all have that convo. I'm so happy right now.

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#72 of 134 Old 02-10-2009, 05:41 PM
 
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He wants the same thing as me: marriage. He is quite clear on the situation between my son's father and I as well as my expectations in a relationship. He has no issues with that and is very open to everything. He got me with the line "I just want to make sure I am being the best man I can be for you." There is an age difference between us (11 years) but we don't care. We are crazy about one another and really want to see what happens. There is ALOT of sexual chemistry between us and we talked about that. He is ok with us waiting for however long it is before we go there, if we even do it at all. Is he not awesome? I am so happy and feeling so good about him. Wish me luck that things work out.
Yes, he does sound awesome - I'm so happy for you. 11 years of age difference isn't a lot IMO. Hardly any at all.
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#73 of 134 Old 02-10-2009, 06:23 PM
 
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We have our first date on tomorrow. A lunch date and then a real date (just bowling and dinner) on Saturday.

.... I am so happy and feeling so good about him. Wish me luck that things work out.

: : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : :

Awesome! I am wishing you sooooooo much luck!

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#74 of 134 Old 02-10-2009, 07:31 PM
 
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we've been chatting back and forth since December. We have our first date on tomorrow. ....................... There is ALOT of sexual chemistry between us
2 questions. First, why the two month delay of meeting IRL? Second, how do you know there's a lot of sexual chemistry? : I'm wondering if what was said earlier this week about chatting getting too suggestive too easily is part of this.... Just curious! :
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#75 of 134 Old 02-10-2009, 11:31 PM
 
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oooh, Holland! what a beautiful present! Happy Anniversary to you both!!

AKA, have a blast on your date. I think it's great to hook up with someone you have a good history with, it saves so much of the getting-to-know-you part

Butterfly, she's got a baby so I'm guessing the dating delay was due to momma-scheduling stuff

I've been trying to get my mind off my vanishing man, to no avail I'm so very annoyed to have met someone who is *SO* close to what I want in a man but with such big issues in the way. It honestly sucks. I have to find more distractions!

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YoungMan (6/00) & LittleBoy (6/04)
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#76 of 134 Old 02-11-2009, 08:12 AM
 
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I've been trying to get my mind off my vanishing man, to no avail I'm so very annoyed to have met someone who is *SO* close to what I want in a man but with such big issues in the way. It honestly sucks. I have to find more distractions!
: : Exactly. I still hear from mine regularly, and he says things to let me know that he hasn't gotten over me, he is just still always thinking of me, he still considers the door open for things in the future, if circumstances change (why do we have to label it/define things? Let's just see how the future unfolds....), etc.... Which sucks because the ONE circumstance that would need to change, really, is him being ready to take a chance on love and be willing to work things out and BE WITH ME, be there for me, despite the risks and fears we all have and take in relationships. Him living awhile longer in Brussels is not the problem, long-distance hassles is not the problem. Him being completely traumatized from past breakups and scared to death of hurting someone/being hurt again is the problem. That he has never stopped once and thought of what he could do for me, what he could offer to me, and instead just focused on himself and what he wants to do, is the problem..... :



Distractions. : Distractions.
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#77 of 134 Old 02-11-2009, 08:24 AM
 
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By the way, speaking of distractions, my Bald & Muscular man talked with me on the phone for hours last night. He still doesn't know he's in the running or think there's any possibility for more than friends, but boy I do enjoy talking on the phone with him about just everything. He may be coming quite soon back from Barcelona because his dad is suddenly getting married on Valentine's Day. So I might get to finally see him face-to-face in a few days. Dunno yet. He's just.... fun. He played guitar while we were on the phone, and I sang along (yes, all this over the phone) and we talked about music we like, and he has a lot of interesting sides to him, and is the most calm/relaxed/laid back guy I have ever known who is also so ambitious (entreprneur) and confident/strong. But so quietly so--got nothing he wants to prove to a soul--it's unnecessary. He needs to leave spain and return to Finland : and start paying attention to me, face-to-face. I'm such a child, I want to be entertained.
Amnesty Guy has maintained total radio silence throughout this week, and I find it unnerving. But it's actually proving to be effective in terms of quelching the excitement that had grown between us in the 5 days of lots-of-communication last week. I'm not thinking of him as much, and he starts to feel like he has floated away into the ether and maybe didn't really exist after all.

Why can't my vanishing guy (the-penis-head-in-Brussels) get off my mind easily and completely? I am making progress on not bursting into tears thinking about him and missing him so badly/aching for him terribly. I'm slowly gonna get over that young jerk. I feel hope about that, finally.
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#78 of 134 Old 02-11-2009, 09:13 AM
 
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Lots going on here!

Rubelin and Butterfly: Sorry about your vanishing guys I had one of those once - a year long friend where we suddenly found ourselves kissing at a newyears party - we had a short relationship, I was so mad about him - then he decided I wasnt it for him after all. Man that was a bummer. He went ahead and met another girl a few months later, and now they are married with three kids.. sigh

Aka - pi: Good luck on the date - that sounds very promising I also dont think 11 years is that bad. My ex was 10 years older and it was never a problem. We had lots of other problems, but age was never one..

Holland: What a beautiful gift to get You lucky thing. Sorry for your BF that his plans didnt work out

Here I am meeting my guy on friday hopefully - we havent made exact plans, but havent seen him for almost 2 weeks now - and last time we met it was just lunch in town. I need ALONE-TIME with him bad! So he better meet up or he will be in trouble! I think he is looking forward to getting together too though so doubt it will be a problem. I just really do find it difficult being apart from him so much. I want him to be a part of my life - this occasional gettogether wont do it for me in the long run ...
Anyway being apart from him for so long kind of cools me down a bit. I almost get the same feeling Butterflymom does - its almost like it was a dream and now I woke up.. ahh well I bet as soon as I see him the past weeks will be feeling like the dream..
All in all I do feel that fear of being hurt is becoming an issue for me.. I have never felt this convinced about someone before - the thought of it possibly not working out scares me so much I almost wanna just break it off right away before I get too attached. I wont do that ofcourse - its not in my nature to pass on love - but the thought is disturbing anyway...

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#79 of 134 Old 02-11-2009, 09:37 AM
 
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its almost like it was a dream and now I woke up.. ahh well I bet as soon as I see him the past weeks will be feeling like the dream...
That's how it goes! You start to feel, after awhile, that.... "did it really happen? Is he real? Or just a fantasy? " But then the second you see him again, it feels like the time in between seeing each other was the un-reality, and being together is the only reality worth caring about. I felt like that with penis-head-in-Brussels. He kept walking away from me and vanishing and I was left devastated wondering if I would ever see him again, and then a day or two later the dull reality that he's simply gone, maybe forever, would wash over me and I'd feel like the memories, even recent ones, of being together, were somehow unreal/dream-like, and it was driving me insane, a little bit. Then suddenly he'd call and show up again and be in front of me and his scent and getting lost locked in the deepest eye contact would be so soul-moving, so intense, that I would feel like just ignoring all my rational thoughts and flinging myself into the emotional experience in that moment, and blindly listen to my heart which was telling me that THIS man is my soulmate, HE is the love of my life, and it will somehow magically all work out between us, so just go ahead and melt into him, let down all defenses and open wide for him and let him infiltrate your heart and body to his heart's desire. Like, if you're madly in love, your heart simply refuses to believe that the object of that love, whom you would do anything for and would never hurt, could do anything but reciprocate the same behavior. No matter what the track record shows.

But I'm doing much better. It's been maybe a couple of weeks since I burst into tears and felt like I would die if i couldn't call him up and hear his voice, and these days I am not thinking about him constantly. Distraction is sooooooo good. Thinking about AG and B&M helps a lot. Wish Ken-Doll would throw some drama into my life just to give me one more thing to fix my thoughts on, to keep them away from penis-head.

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the thought of it possibly not working out scares me so much I almost wanna just break it off right away before I get too attached. I wont do that ofcourse -

Of course NOT! Darling, you are in way too deep to pass on this one. It's scary as hell but there ain't no options when ya feel the way ya do.
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#80 of 134 Old 02-11-2009, 09:40 AM
 
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Seie: It's completely understandable that you want to see this guy more than every other week. I don't think you are co-dependent because you want to spend more time. I really think you need to talk to him about it. Also - do you think you'll see him more when he does meet your kids and he can come over after they go to bed? How often do you talk on the phone?

I think you need to ask yourself some questions about how often you'd want to see him ideally, and what kind of frequency you can live with?

I've sort of BTDT because my DP works a lot. But there have always been times where we would spend four days together in a row (mostly every other weekend) and he lives close by and is able to come over late in the evening. It does put a strain on the relationship if you are feeling insecure and it's very easy to feel insecure in a new relationship that doesn't offer much opportunity to see each other.

Hugs!
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#81 of 134 Old 02-11-2009, 10:08 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by Butterflymom View Post

Please do copy/paste them.
I'll do it when I get back in town, I am heading for NYC with my sweetie

It is going to be so nice, a whole 3 days together, just us, with no responsibilities

                                Whatever will be, already is...
 
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#82 of 134 Old 02-11-2009, 11:56 AM
 
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Butterflymom.. reading your posts are very entertaining. Not sure which one I'm rooting for yet.

Congrats Holland, what a niiiiiice gift!

Have fun in NYC BelovedK!!

:
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#83 of 134 Old 02-13-2009, 03:38 AM
 
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oooh, we can't let this thread fall off the front page, girls!! What is everyone planning for Valentine's Day?? It's not a holiday that I care about but one of the guys I'm seeing is taking me to see "Some Like It Hot" at the vintage theatre he manages. Should be fun

I did a release meditation for my vanished guy the other day. Whenever he comes into my mind, I let him go again and think of other things. My soulmate is out there and I am through wasting time and emotion on someone who is not him.

Robin~ single, work-at-home momma to my WonderBoys
YoungMan (6/00) & LittleBoy (6/04)
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#84 of 134 Old 02-13-2009, 07:52 AM
 
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Oooh, i like the release meditation thought. Yesterday had a bit of a relapse on the whole couple-weeks-without-bursting-into-tears-missing-him-so-bad thing, and had a good cry. Those can be good sometimes. : And now I will start releasing thoughts of him before they go so deep that the sobs come out.

Saw new photos of Bald & Muscular and can safely now say that he is really NOT in the running. Just for sure not a guy I would ever be attracted to, unfortunately for everyone. But we have established a nice platonic friendship and I like that, and he's not even in Finland right now to worry about hurting his feelings --he's never met me face to face.


Anyway, the date with Amnesty Guy looms on the horizon for V-day tomorrow. He hasn't been in touch with me all week, and now I feel a call to confirm that we are still on for tomorrow would be in order. Wouldn't it?? I don't like him assuming that it would be, when we never even said a time/place to meet or anything. I hope he calls today to confirm and doesn't wait until the last moment tomorrow to let me know what his estimated time of arrival into Helsinki is.
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#85 of 134 Old 02-13-2009, 11:35 AM
 
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My soulmate is out there and I am through wasting time and emotion on someone who is not him.
Very wise of you! I know when I've nursed a broken heart that it helped me realize that pining away for this other guy was just keeping me further away from someone who woudl really rock my world!
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#86 of 134 Old 02-13-2009, 12:19 PM
 
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Good for you, rubelin! I've been trying to meditate more in general to keep myself centered, filter out all the negative energy around, I really like that idea.

I'm not doing anything with my boy for Valentine's, though he did get me some flowers, in a pot, since I told him I didn't like flowers that die.
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#87 of 134 Old 02-13-2009, 05:05 PM
 
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Although i am not dating another right now, just myself, i am doing a Valentine's tea with my kiddos and a few friends and their kiddo's. We are making heart cookies and cherry tea and i think i may do some heart shaped quiches to absorb some of the sugar the kids will be eating. I'm 5 some months pregnant and super busy with school! No word from the dad of the babe. I see him every day but no contact. Whatever. Anyhow i still need a birth partner, anyone near NorCal want to come visit and help :
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#88 of 134 Old 02-13-2009, 05:36 PM
 
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I'm not doing anything with my boy for Valentine's, though he did get me some flowers, in a pot, since I told him I didn't like flowers that die.
Awesome!

Amnesty Guy broke his vow of silence and sent me a virtual math-oriented Valentine's card that shows he remembers I studied math at university. It was really clever and thoughtful. I was worried he wouldn't even bother to confirm our date tomorrow, due to the whole vow of silence thing. We spent 2 hours on chat followed by 1 on the phone tonight, and it was nice. I simply love the way his voice sounds (I hadn't heard it in a week--I almost forgot!!).


Avani, I can't imagine what it must be like for you these days, but you sound so positive and grounded and just awe-inspiring. Check in often. We love you!


You all want a funny V-day-date-preparatory story? I decided to do my own highlights in my bathroom, and those turned out fine, although perhaps a tad blonder and brassier than I would consider ideal (only I would find such nuances noticable, but now I am wanting to find some of that purple shampoo to tone down the yellow tones to make it perfect). Then...... *sigh* I had hard wax and decided to wax my bikini area *ahem* in prep for Amnesty Guy's saturday night date with me. I put the hard wax in water in a big pot and set it to boil, and walked away. Ooooh, big mistake. An hour later I smell smoke and remember what I had done. The stuff was smoking (apparently the wax isn't flammable or maybe no fire because the lid was on the pot? I never looked inside) so I set it in my window and shut off my kitchen from the rest of the house with the window open, and my kitchen was fine in no time. The fire department came knocking at my door because the hallway had filled with smoke, elsewhere in the building. : Oh, Jeez. I felt like such an idiot for letting my bikini-area-wax melt, container and all, on the stove top. Doh! Then yesterday, I got cold-sugar-wax strips to do the area, and when I pulled off one the skin was too loose and it totally bruised the skin dark purple like a garden of hickeys! : Shit! This isn't more attractive than hair. :

Then, today, I started AF heavily, as if the goddess of the earth (plus my own klutziness/accident-prone-ness) was telling me herself that maybe I should consider not putting out on the first date. God, I'm going to have to remember the value of making out! :
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#89 of 134 Old 02-14-2009, 10:20 PM
 
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LOL! The first time I hung out with the guy I'm currently seeing I was on the tail end of my period...so didn't do it that night. But....the following morning...


ETA: it wasn't the first time I met him...but the first time I had him over to my house

"Have faith in yourself and in the direction you have chosen." Ralph Marston

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#90 of 134 Old 02-15-2009, 01:15 AM
 
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Butterflymom!!!

But yeah.. maybe.
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