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#1 of 21 Old 02-11-2009, 05:26 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Hey Mama's

Anyone else have real bad baby fever?????? I have it so bad right now I keep going in the pregnant and due date and birth story forums

Dp and I are not ready we are not engaged donot have the money and we are living in my mothers house (who just moved back here after her Dp and her split up) so we are not ready but my body is craving a baby my heart is craving a baby but is is not the right time at all! I really do not want to be unmarried again and have a baby but my body and heart are not listening to readon as of right now I am not even sure if Dp even wants a baby ONEDAY is view on this changes all the time! ahhhh so anyone else in the same boat as me????????

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#2 of 21 Old 02-11-2009, 07:43 PM
 
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Yes me!

I've been with my DP for three years but I need to finish my dissertation (which is really hard with a big herniated disc in my neck that puts a limit on computer time) and I need to work for about a year after that or my future career will be gone before it even started. And the worse part is that the herniated disc makes it uncertain if I can ever have another baby. Right now I need morphine and that's not good for a growing fetus of BFing baby!!!

So in about two or three years time if all goes MY WAY. I had a miscarriage resently. Though the PG wasn't planned both me and my DP were so happy. That was really hard. I constantly want to go and look at all the baby clothes from my DS that's in my basement. And when I think about how soft babies are, how they smell or BFing - that's just hard. But I don't need to convince you about that do I

Hugs! We'll get through it somehow. I'm 34 BTW - how old are you?
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#3 of 21 Old 02-11-2009, 08:09 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Yes me!

I've been with my DP for three years but I need to finish my dissertation (which is really hard with a big herniated disc in my neck that puts a limit on computer time) and I need to work for about a year after that or my future career will be gone before it even started. And the worse part is that the herniated disc makes it uncertain if I can ever have another baby. Right now I need morphine and that's not good for a growing fetus of BFing baby!!!

So in about two or three years time if all goes MY WAY. I had a miscarriage resently. Though the PG wasn't planned both me and my DP were so happy. That was really hard. I constantly want to go and look at all the baby clothes from my DS that's in my basement. And when I think about how soft babies are, how they smell or BFing - that's just hard. But I don't need to convince you about that do I


I look at Ds's stuff all the time
Hugs! We'll get through it somehow. I'm 34 BTW - how old are you?
what makes it worse is my cousin is having a girl soon in May!! I am so happy for her. I did talk to Dp today and he is open for maybe 2 in the FUTURE but at least one I brought it up talking about the octuplet mom. I am younger I am 25 so I know I have lots of time but when you feel it you feel it I go in walmart or target and go straight to the baby section in the grocery store I go look at the binkys I love when Ds comes in the bed and curls up with Dp and I like a little baby. and no you do not have to convice me I know the sweet milk smeel on their breath and the bond you get while nurseing when they get bigger and nurse and they wiggle and look up at you with that little milky smile okay I need to stop now

I hope you get your baby oneday! and yes we will get through it we are strong Mama's right

Karen

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#4 of 21 Old 02-11-2009, 08:29 PM
 
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Yeah, when you want a baby age doesn't matter. I had my son when I was 27 and from the moment we decided to try for one I was just really impatient. Like miss instant gratification impatient! Thank god I have become pg easily in the past. If I knew I had to wait until age 37 and wasn't sure about potential fertility issues I'd freak.

Glad to hear your DP is on board with the idea! Makes it easier if you can vent to your partner.

My son (7) loves to co-sleep and cuddle. Thank god for that too. But visiting the due date, pg. and birth story forums - that's pretty bad! What was your cousin thinking - making you want a baby even more!!

Whenever it gets too bad I think about the fact that I'll be on complete bed rest for the entire pg (was on bed rest with my son too) - that takes the edge off....

Oh man, your post made it really bad again. If only babies weren't so sweet.
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#5 of 21 Old 02-11-2009, 08:58 PM
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Used to. Then one day it hit me what it'd really mean to have a child in my early 40s. Have got a friend with 2 LOs and 2 elem-age kids; she's 42. She'll be just about 60 before they all clear out, and damn, I just cannot face the prospect of having a teenager in my house when I'm closing in on 60. AARP can say what it likes but I see 60 around here, and it's definitely the onset of old age, Sally.

So. Yep. One will do for me.
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#6 of 21 Old 02-11-2009, 09:06 PM
 
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Another concern of mine. I fear that I'm getting too old if I have one in my late thirties. I know lots of woman do that but damn I feel tired already with a seven year old and work. If it happens it will be a lot harder than back when I was 27.

If I was rich and could hire lots of cleaning help, a chef, and didn't have to work other than on a little interesting project here and there the decision would be a lot easier ... ok - day dreaming. I'll stop right here.
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#7 of 21 Old 02-11-2009, 09:18 PM
 
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Used to. Then one day it hit me what it'd really mean to have a child in my early 40s. Have got a friend with 2 LOs and 2 elem-age kids; she's 42. She'll be just about 60 before they all clear out, and damn, I just cannot face the prospect of having a teenager in my house when I'm closing in on 60. AARP can say what it likes but I see 60 around here, and it's definitely the onset of old age, Sally.

So. Yep. One will do for me.
See, that is some rational thinking.

I am 24 and everyone thinks I am too young to have another. I like the idea of having my kids be grown by the time I am in my mid 40s. I want to go through the early years while I still have the flexibility of being young and broke. (Although you might disagree with the broke part, mrs financially responsible)

Single mom to E (2004) and D (2010)
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#8 of 21 Old 02-11-2009, 09:40 PM
 
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Mami, I was having back-and-forth bouts of this sometime ago. It's subsided, and I'm pretty set on not having any more children now.

One way or another, mami, things will work out. Try not to worry.
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#9 of 21 Old 02-12-2009, 12:56 AM
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See, that is some rational thinking.

I am 24 and everyone thinks I am too young to have another. I like the idea of having my kids be grown by the time I am in my mid 40s. I want to go through the early years while I still have the flexibility of being young and broke. (Although you might disagree with the broke part, mrs financially responsible)
hee hee. I think the real answer is you're screwed any way you do it. Do it late, and you're goddamned tired. (My friend's husband, btw, is 60. He'll be lucky to live to see his youngest married, and he'll be, like, 75 with a house full of boy teenagers. I don't know how he'll do it, he can hardly stand people now.) Otoh, if you do it early, you run into serious Career/Academic Snobbery. It's very, very difficult to get into prestigious programs once you're past your sell-by, and that can have real consequences for your ability to support yourself and help your kids later on. So then you're not just young and broke -- you're old & broke, too. If you have the kids midlife, though, you can collect the fancy cv lines early on and they last forever.
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#10 of 21 Old 02-12-2009, 11:13 AM
 
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I sign the list.
I kind of would like a dad for the kid first though - also - being a single mom of 3 is hard enough as it is - I dont fancy being a single mom of 4 or more.. So I have a dream - to meet the one guy (hey I may have already met him - but he has to agree that he is "the one" or it wont work), get a house together, have a couple more children and live happily ever after.. As is now though he isnt even sure he wants more children so.. I kind of feel the biological clock ticking. I know I already have three children - but now I have like 10 years back to find a guy who will stick around and father a couple more - and who doesnt mind the bunch I already have...
Desperate? No not really but slightly frustrated perhaps..

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#11 of 21 Old 02-12-2009, 03:50 PM
 
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Oh yeah, that would be me. I kept telling myself I cannot have another child until I'm out of debt. Well apparently being a single, somewhat lower-income mom gets you a kickin' tax refund that will pay off everything but my car loan, now I have to find myself a new "I cannot have another until..."

Well I already know what it is, "I cannot have another until Luke and I have our own place." but still the urge is there and I have seriously thought about just having another consequences(sp?) be damned.

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#12 of 21 Old 02-12-2009, 09:58 PM
 
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Oh my gosh. YES. It's awful!

Except i don't have a significant other. So, um, it doesn't really matter. lol.

But oooh. Oh goodness my baby fever is so incredibly bad. I'm 2 months away from my 30th birthday (holy!) and only having 1 child by that point was NOT my plan/hope.

I want my DS to grow up with siblings. I always wanted to be a mother, and have quite a few kids.

Plus, now that i'm back home in Canada? The prospect of a YEAR of maternity leave is just so incredbly dreamy. I got 6 weeks unpaid with DS when i lived in the US. A year at home with a new babe, and to be with DS?! I want that so bad.

I could totally do it single too. Seriously. I have all the stuff you need for a baby, i have a job and a house and great health care.

Now that i'm already a single mother, i just figure, whatever. You know?

Anybody know where i can find a sperm donor? LOL
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#13 of 21 Old 02-12-2009, 10:49 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I am so happy I am not alone. to all the other baby fever Mama's out there. I do not think being an older Mama is so bad I would not ever put an age on being a Mama I noticed from some Mothers I know who are older they seem so so much more patient than younger moms I believe I am patient I have been told I am extreamily patient but I think it is different as you get older KWIM? So I would happily welcome a baby at 35 hey I would happily welcome a baby right now :bet you didn't know that one I just wish I could have a baby sooner than later I know I am young only 25 and I have a healthy happy smart beautiful funny little boy who I love more than anything but I want him to have a sibling he is already almost five!! I swear I just brought him home. I want him to have a sibling who he will be able to grow up with and if he is 8 when I have another baby then he wont really be growing up with him ya know? But on the othe rhand it is nice because I get to just concentrate on him yeah that is how i am going to look at it

Karen

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#14 of 21 Old 02-12-2009, 11:08 PM
 
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JA's Mama, we are the same age with children the same age and we seem to be thinking the same way. I don't want my daughter to be 8 or 9 or whatever when I have more kids and have her think I am then having my "real family" after a youthful mistake. I want her to grow up with at least one sibling and us to be a cohesive family. I am being proactive about it right now. I really feel that if I do not do it soon, I will never have another child and I do not think it is fair to me or my daughter if I don't.

Single mom to E (2004) and D (2010)
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#15 of 21 Old 02-13-2009, 03:02 AM - Thread Starter
 
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JA's Mama, we are the same age with children the same age and we seem to be thinking the same way. I don't want my daughter to be 8 or 9 or whatever when I have more kids and have her think I am then having my "real family" after a youthful mistake. I want her to grow up with at least one sibling and us to be a cohesive family. I am being proactive about it right now. I really feel that if I do not do it soon, I will never have another child and I do not think it is fair to me or my daughter if I don't.

I compleatly understand!!! I could have written your whole post (your a smart lady ) My sister is 6 years older than me and I think that is a wonderful age gap her and I are SO close NOW (not growing up but were always protective of each other) I would love for Ds to have a sibling no father than my sis and I. Dp wants to have children but I know that it is "not the right time" Ohh but I want to feel that little baby and nurse him or her

Oneday Soso lynn you and I will have those little bundles how funny would it be if we had babies at the same time since our firsts are the same age (yeah I am a big nerd I know)

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#16 of 21 Old 02-13-2009, 03:08 AM
 
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Not having another baby is one of the things I'm mourning with the end of my marriage.

I am considering doing a donor insemination or something once I'm completely on my feet, financially, but suddenly, I'm worried I'll be too old by then. I'm 31 now. I have no idea how long it will take for me to get it all together.

I try to find the positive things. Like...that we'll all fit in a car, if we want. Or that we have an even number of people for riding roller coasters. And that the 4 of us fit nicely around the kitchen table.

Can't say it helps much.

Busy, hectic, HAPPY single mom to 3 awesome kiddos jumpers.gif DD1 (10) DS (8) DD2 (6)

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#17 of 21 Old 02-14-2009, 01:37 AM
 
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Even *I* am hoping that my boyfriend's vasectomy reverses itself must be something in the water.
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#18 of 21 Old 02-14-2009, 04:47 AM
 
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i'm 35, i'm freaking out, i want another. i dont want dd to grow up alone.
i been going nuts for the two years. i been dating the same guy on and off for two years and thought often about accidentally getting pregnant. but i can't do it. i dont want to have a kid without a partner. it's been so hard raising dd on my own, emotionally and financially. she's so high need, draining. i work too many hours, cost of living is so expensive in SF and i can't move cuz of custody agreement.
if nothing changes, i'll probably adopt maybe a 3-4 year old to cut down on daycare costs. hehe.

single mama to DD 5.09
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#19 of 21 Old 02-14-2009, 10:06 PM
 
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Me me me!!!! It's so weird because until very recently (about the time I started seeing my guy..hmm....) I was completely done with having kids and totally freaked out at the possiblity of ever being pregnant again...like, for the past 4.5 years.

So now that I'm single and happy, I have BAD baby lust. I've always wanted a girl and now I am totally crazed. Part of it may be my age? I'm 33...and really all I want is "intimacy" and babies lol. It is difficult because I'm not really ready in any way...sigh.

"Have faith in yourself and in the direction you have chosen." Ralph Marston

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#20 of 21 Old 02-15-2009, 03:11 AM
 
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SAME BOAT and I don't even have a DP

I continue to daydream and research (always lots to learn) and reassure myself it will happen one day and maybe that day will be in the next couple years...until then, I have a lot of planning and organizing to do in my own life.




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Your time will come when you are good and READY. :

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#21 of 21 Old 02-15-2009, 01:53 PM - Thread Starter
 
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SAME BOAT and I don't even have a DP

I continue to daydream and research (always lots to learn) and reassure myself it will happen one day and maybe that day will be in the next couple years...until then, I have a lot of planning and organizing to do in my own life.




s s s

Your time will come when you are good and READY. :

That is true and I research a lot also

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