Kelly, I'm so sorry.
Sending so much healing vibes to you.
Seie, I understand that if it feels right, you feel that surge of love for him, you're gonna have to just follow your heart. Besides, a tight working schedule doesn't have to be the end of the world, when one day you are living together and he comes home and holds you through every night, and he is devoting a large share of his free time (weekends) to spending time with you. One day you'll be spending so much more time with him than you are right now and it will feel amazing in comparison!
rubelin, how has your strategy for getting vanishing guy off your mind going lately? I had been making great progress in February but March has come in like a lion and I have been bursting into tears frequently, remembering mine (who I haven't heard from in any way shape or form since V-day--18 days ago. Longest stretch of time by far we have been out of touch since Halloween---this starts to feel really real, that we are done.
)..... I'm in that mindset AKA_PI mentions of just not wanting to settle for anything less than that 'sure' feeling. I never felt that sure feeling about anyone I met right away in my life, like I did with Brussels guy, and ....I hate letting it go so 'easily' (ok, it wasn't easy but HE seems to be letting it go awfully easily).
My college sweetheart and i were madly in love and it didn't start with a thunderbolt. I hemmed and hawwed and played games with him for 3 months before he finally took a surge of confidence and demanded that I be HIS and we become an exclusive couple and I was speechless and agreed (I didn't know what else to do), and the love between us got really strong and grew and grew for 5 years. So I get what Kelly is saying about sometimes 'love comes softly' and doesn't hit us with a thunderbolt of sureity.
JustAnotherBrick, you are sweet to encourage me to ramble on and on.... but I love the idea of encouraging you to get out there.
You deserve to have some fun and maybe meet someone sweet who will add something positive to your life.
.......Smooth & Witty........
He came over last night after he worked 10 hours, rennovated 2 hours, and had a floorball game for 2 hours (so, 14 hours of nonstop activity) but saw me and just lit up with energy and said he felt very alive and not sleepy at all. We had a relaxing couple of hours talking on my couch, snuggled up very intimately (but sweetly and innocently), listening to music and talking...well, him interrogating me on what sort of relationship I ideally envision having with a man.
I described in explicit detail the sorts of relationship I would envision, and he was just so happy that I can communicate so well and thought that it was amazing that I am able to tell him so well what kinds of things I need and want, because not only does my description sound like a relationship he would kill to have with an amazing woman, but he feels that simply being able to communicate so honestly and openly is crucial and vital to long-term success within any couple. Wise man. I just love how he makes me laugh with his witty, cocky, but cute little comments and jokes. He teases me in a way that doesn't leave me feeling teased, rather it just sets the stage for such a fun playful vibe between us, and his jokes are actually laugh-out-loud funny, and it is obvious how intelligent he is. I love having to use my PC muscles even out of the bedroom, to keep from wetting myself when he cracks me up with some of his ingenuious comedy.
The intimacy we shared on every level last night felt very natural, very sweet, and was very good for both of us. He seems to love falling asleep with me snuggled up in his arms, and it doesn't feel weird or too soon to either of us, just normal and like we've been doing it forever. It just seems a bit too good to be true, that everything I am looking for is something he wants to be for me. But not complaining. Just want to try to remain at least slightly skeptical until this passes the test of time.....
He texted me again today and wants to see me again tonight, despite only 4 hours sleep last night, and wants to sleep next to me again tonight. He sure isn't 'playing the game' with me by waiting a specified period of time so as not to seem too eager. Seems to want to sleep next to me every possible opportunity to do so.
However, I am going to dinner with New Nerd tonight, because I already had agreed to it in advance before I met Smoothie. I asked Smooth & Witty if he wanted to take me out on a proper date tonight since tomorrow night he has another floorball game and this weekend my kids are here so we wouldn't have another chance to do so for like 5 days, but he said he is working late and would call and hoped to see me later on in the evening, so I guess I won't reschedule/cancel on New Nerd (hey, I want to get dressed up and go to a restaurant and have some fun out of my apartment!) and just come home straight from the restaurant, early, cut my date short with New Nerd and wait at home for Smoothie to call.
Yes, it's double booking, but.....