So today marks a week that he so abruptly left me. I have no idea how to be ok alone. I know I NEED to be alone but I am so lonely and miserable. Everyone has lives and is busy. I'm sitting here watching WOW WOW wubzy and I miss him. I miss his texts. I miss anticipating his coming home. I miss his hugs and the way he made love to me.
WHY? He treated me horribly in the end. Maybe the fact that it was so good and went bad so fast behind my back and under my nose.
I have very few bad memories. None actually, I mean how many in 5 months can you have. All I know is he was so sure about me and then WHAM. He found someone else and without explaination, never came home.
I think I am already getting attached to my ex husband who has been hanging around, not that I ever really lost those feelings. I just tried to cover them up with feelings for a new person who reciprocated.
What hurts is I actually felt like I gave Jose my all. I gave him parts of me I have never given and he KNEW it and abused it. How could he hurt parts of me I didn't know existed and why did I give myself to someone so freely.
I just want to not hurt. I want to be ok alone but at the same time want to be ok in a relationship too. I'm so confused.
My ex husband is like my best friend and I really missed him in all of this and Abrielle loves him too. I feel like I need a friend right now. He is the only person who gives me comfort.