Work situation...life situation...Update. - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 11 Old 05-13-2009, 11:24 AM - Thread Starter
 
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So, I started a job that I love the first week of April at a photography studio. I do editing/retouching. Everything was fine until a series of events that have lead to me having DS full time, and I am trying to get full custody (ex-DH using drugs around our DS, potentially driving while intoxicated. I've had our DS since I found out about these things going on, and the ex-DH hasn't asked to see DS or anything...which is good, IMO, less for me to fight with him over). I have had an awful time finding a babysitter, which has lead to me working at home some days. Basically yesterday it came to the point where the owner isn't sure if it is worth keeping me around, and said that after reviewing my work later this week he will decide whether or not I can be productive at home or if he is going to fire me.

I've always wanted to be self employed and stay home with DS, and people are telling me that now is the chance to do it. I mostly stay at my boyfriend's place (rent free), but I do have a room that I rent from a friend (my "official" address). That friend said that I would never be homeless if my money situation became that bad, so I do have that safety net that I wouldn't lose the roof over my head. I also would have the option of moving in with my mom, but she lives nearly two hours away from everything I know/love, and we don't get along well when we live together so that is an absolute last resort sort option.

The friend that I am renting a room from also is an artist and wants to be self employed. We have projects we're collaborating on, and the boyfriend may get involved too. They're both pretty popular in our local "scene," which would help with promoting our work and getting us business.

So, I have a lot of support from my friend, my mom, and the boyfriend. I guess at this point I decide if I'm going to bust my butt the next 24 hours to make the owner of this photo place happy and hopefully keep me (which I'm honestly not sure if he will...my work is good, but I struggled at first. And I retouch almost entirely wedding shoots, which I hate to be honest), or go off and finally bite the bullet and do my own thing.

ETA: I guess it is important to note that I have been selling my art work and photography services for a few years now, but not seriously as a full time business. So I know I CAN sell things, I just need to make it official.

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#2 of 11 Old 05-13-2009, 11:43 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Oops, double posting...

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#3 of 11 Old 05-13-2009, 12:58 PM
 
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Hang in there, Mama. It sounds like you've got a good support system and a good plan B. If the job will keep you, that will be great, but if not, you'll take the plunge into self-employment! And maybe if the job continues (for now) you can start lining up side gigs and building up your own business too!
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#4 of 11 Old 05-13-2009, 06:07 PM
 
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could your support help you with baby sitting?

if yes then i would go off and take off on your own. it would take you at least a year to get solvent so while you have all the support this is the time to do it.

i have found it is easier being poor with a younger child than with an older. i have come to the conclusion that i need a certain amount of money. i cant really keep being at the bottom of the barrel. it was easier when my dd was younger because my focus was being with her as much as possible, but now as she is doing her own thing - she is 6 - i have the freedom to do my thing. beign a full time student. which really has enriched her life too. so it works for both of us. she comes and hangs out in the labs with me and the rest of the students hang out with her.

my dd happened to be a v. v. needy child so it was not really a choice for me to be with her. i did want to but it made more urgent her wanting it to much and showing behaviour like tummy aches.

however it sucks being barely almost not able to have some fun money at 6. even though it brings up some profound moments too, it still is hard to say no to a popsicle.

make it OFFICIAL girl!!! you can always go back to work.

that is only if you know your child will be happy with you away. and you can find the time covered.

in an economy like this - we really need people like you to bring our world a little more joyful. makes it hard for business though. but you just never know.

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#5 of 11 Old 05-14-2009, 12:10 AM
 
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My only concern would be - do you need to have a steady job for the custody stuff? I mean, really, it sounds like you don't because of your ex's issues. But just in case, KWIM?

I only think of it because a job came available to me that I would *so like* better, but I'm not going to take it (for a plethora of reasons but also) because I don't want to change jobs in the middle of a custody battle (I wasn't employed full-time before the split so it's on the heels of another change if I quit). Is there a logical reason behind that? Probably not. I just want to be more stable than Xh.
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#6 of 11 Old 05-15-2009, 11:04 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by wendyjoe View Post
My only concern would be - do you need to have a steady job for the custody stuff? I mean, really, it sounds like you don't because of your ex's issues. But just in case, KWIM?
I've thought about that, too. I would be worried about that being an issue during the beginning stages of self employment, where money won't be very good. Money isn't exactly GOOD now, but we're fed, clothed, have a roof over us, bills are paid...there just isn't much left over after that.

Now, I'm unsure about this situation because it looks like working from home isn't an option anymore. *sigh* The owner of this studio is a nice guy who is concerned about my situation(s), but now it looks like I'm expected to work in the studio like I have been. So...if that is the case, I'm going to keep working toward self employment because that's the ultimate goal no matter what, even in my pre-DS days. I'll have to find a babysitter for the next month, then when my sister gets out of school I'm going to hire her for the summer to watch DS. Not ideal, but I guess that's what it will be like for the moment... The owner and I never got to sit down and talk and go over my work like he said we're going to, so hopefully that will happen next week.

Thanks for the replies!

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#7 of 11 Old 05-18-2009, 12:20 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I quit today, for a number of reasons. I'm kind of terrified, but everyone I spoke with said my reasons are good and valid, so I followed through with it.

So, I have a month until my sister can watch DS. I am going to sell at an event in NC in June, so I have lots of art and such to work on to bring there and hopefully I'll make some money. I set up an Etsy, I'm making business cards, need to find hosting for my site, etc...

*deep breath* I can do this, right?

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#8 of 11 Old 05-18-2009, 12:29 PM
 
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You know you can
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#9 of 11 Old 05-18-2009, 12:40 PM
 
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: just wanted to say you are awesome!

Blissful Mama to DD-(5), DS-(6) and someone new due in November!
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#10 of 11 Old 05-18-2009, 05:25 PM
 
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: : WOW!! CONGRATULATIONS!!!! the point isnt that you CAN.

the point is you DID!!!!!

will you succeed? dont know. but you jumped right in with courage and trust.

how can you ever fail?!!

woohoo : :

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#11 of 11 Old 05-21-2009, 02:39 PM - Thread Starter
 
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THANKS!

I appreciate the support! I've had a couple "OMG, what did I do?!" moments, but my friends and the boyfriend have been keeping me on track and confident. I also have another friend that is helping us get set up with screen printing, and all these ideas keep coming between the three of us. I am excited and hopeful.

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