This one hits home for me, let me tell you! I have struggled with this issue since DD was 6 months old. Initially, I did what you did, had DD in her side car next to BF and I. In the mornings she would look at him with an expression of "What are you still doing here, buddy?" When I noticed her actually looking around for him I knew it was time to change our arrangement, I didn't want to confuse her (she was 10 months).
She is now 15 months. I decided my lover may not sleep in our bed, my kid is just too sharp and will want some answers! When she sees me so much as hug another person she becomes jealous and wants in on the lovin'!
I really do struggle with this issue. I was raised in a strict Irish Catholic home, just becoming an unwed mom was scandelous! (Whatever! Not like I re-invented the wheel!) I have really had to re-evaluate my concepts and ethics on sexuality, and what I want to teach DD.
What do you think: APing increased my sex drive!? I spend all day and night holding, nursing, cosleeping, coddling, touching, caressing and massaging my little girl. At the end of the day, I want some too!!
I'm glad that you have found a dear friend to share that time with, you deserve it! Good luck!