And this thread is for those NOT getting a Father's Day gift for their children's father! - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 13 Old 06-14-2009, 01:01 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I can't imagine buying him a gift. The kids are older than some here, and never ask me for help.

He certainly doesn't buy me Mother's Day presents and I'd be creeped out if he did.

In fact the first Mother's Day after we split up, he called the kids and talked to them for a long time while i just BREATHED because he almost never calls them. (They contact each other mostly electronically when not visiting in person.)

I completely respect those, especially with younger children, who buy FD gifts for their ex. But I feel that doing so is one of the benefits of having a wife. And he has lost that right.

Take the time to heal from your marriage before you move on with someone else. Make a list of all the qualities you would like in a new partner and then work on growing that way yourself. ~mandib50
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#2 of 13 Old 06-14-2009, 01:14 PM
 
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No way is my kids dad anything of a father in my eyes. Not after everything he has done and continues to do to the children and I. No loving man would ever do these things.
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#3 of 13 Old 06-14-2009, 01:23 PM
 
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DS's bio-dad has never received anything from me for Fathers Day. Why should he? He's not a dad in any sense of the word. IF Owen ever asked for help buying/mailing him something for fathers day (or his birthday or Christmas or whatever) I would help him, without a doubt. But Owen doesn't believe ex is his dad (despite our trying to explain the situation to him) so I don't think that day will come for a long time, if ever.

Heck, I think ex is giving up on the idea of being "dad". During a visit last summer Owen asked ex "what's your name?" and ex flipped out saying "You know my name. I'm your dad" etc etc. This last visit last weekend Owen asked the same question. Ex's response was "my name is Matt". No mention of "dad" at all.

ETA- his new wife may buy him something for fathers day (they're expecting a baby next month)... who knows.

Steph, DH Jason (1-1-11), DS Owen (10-3-03) and DS Kai (10-13-11)

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#4 of 13 Old 06-14-2009, 02:03 PM
 
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Thank goodness my dd is in preschool now! She's making something for him there.

For the past 3 Father's days, I had just followed his lead. If he got something from her for Mother's day, I'd respond with something equal. Now I don't have to worry about that anymore!

When my son was little, his dad got nothing. He was in no way a dad. Anything my DS made in school was given to ds's grandfather who is still like a dad to my son!
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#5 of 13 Old 06-14-2009, 02:36 PM
 
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My dd (turning 9yo in a couple weeks) has figured things out on her own terms. She asked me a week ago if I would mind if she "celebrated Fathers Day with Pap-Pap instead of Daddy". Then after she started to refer to her Dad by his first name. I'm respecting her choices.

-Janna, independent mother of dd, Ms. Mattie Sky born on my 25th birthday, 06*23*2000. My Mama Feb.21,1938-Sept.10,2006
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#6 of 13 Old 06-14-2009, 02:53 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by StephandOwen View Post
DS's bio-dad has never received anything from me for Fathers Day. Why should he? He's not a dad in any sense of the word. IF Owen ever asked for help buying/mailing him something for fathers day (or his birthday or Christmas or whatever) I would help him, without a doubt. But Owen doesn't believe ex is his dad (despite our trying to explain the situation to him) so I don't think that day will come for a long time, if ever.
:

"There are two mistakes one can make along the road to truth; not going all the way and not starting." - Buddha.
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#7 of 13 Old 06-14-2009, 05:07 PM
 
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ex set the precedent by utterly ignoring mother's day, and i'm following suit. in fact, i have the kids that day. happy father's day, ex.
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#8 of 13 Old 06-14-2009, 05:38 PM
 
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I am getting him nothing, He has caused so much hardache. Maybe his girlfriend will.
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#9 of 13 Old 06-16-2009, 07:54 AM
 
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There are many reasons why I could choose not to get ex a fathers day gift, and I won't. But just for clarity sake, he won't be getting a father's day gift from me because he never believed in holidays, and mother's day was one that he especially pointed out saying, "Mother's Day is Every Day", which is why he scared me everyday.

Even this year the children made a mother's day gift for me there, and he didn't let them bring it home. Great going!

But mostly, he is not my father! : )

Vegetarian Hindu, mother to L,P and R. 
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#10 of 13 Old 06-16-2009, 09:35 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Momtwice View Post
I can't imagine buying him a gift. ...I feel that doing so is one of the benefits of having a wife. And he has lost that right.
WORD! If my ex-h - who has never even MET my child - wants to pretend he's a good father, he can get a trinket from the woman he left me for.

Thank you for this thread. Not all of us chant kumbaya with our former spouses - or want to. A whole, loving single-parent family does NOT require inclusion of the other bio-parent.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jyotsna
But mostly, he is not my father! : )
: Ba-dum-bum. Right ON!

The only thing you owe to others is to behave with integrity.
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#11 of 13 Old 06-16-2009, 10:50 AM
 
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This, that, and THAT.

Yeah, ex is not getting a thing from me or my DD. Honestly, I'm not even going to pick up the phone to call him so he can talk to her. Nothing. He pretends he's not a father 99% of the time, he can't just switch it up on Sunday.

DD 2/08
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#12 of 13 Old 06-16-2009, 12:14 PM
 
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I'll help my kiddos make him a card but I certainly won't be buying anything for him.
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#13 of 13 Old 06-16-2009, 01:40 PM
 
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No gifts from me ... Considering that neither pay child support no way in the world will I spend any money on Father's Day! The kids can make cards if they want...
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